Iraq is Zeke's fault..

I swear to God, if Isiah Thomas was within 50 miles of ground zero on 9/11 they would've blamed him for that shit. I'm really having a problem with the way this whole Knicks / Nuggets fight is being portrayed in the media.

A bunch of ignorant overpaid niggas fight in the NBA and somehow it's Isiah's fault. Sure, the conjecture is that he ordered a hard foul, but guess what, I hope he DID order a hard foul!! You got MFers from out of town coming in and embarrasing you on your own home court, dunking all over you and doing 360 dunk contest shit with a 20 point lead.... eff that, show some mfing heard and foul them niggas hard!!!! You know how the Pistons used to do, you KNEW if you were coming to the lane Lambeir was gonna lay yo ass out!!!

So hell yeah it was a hard foul and it should have been. Sure to some people the NBA is entertainment, but to the mfers who live that shit every day, this is WAR on the court and I hope he did tell his players to put someone on the floor. That's how you send a message in war. Hell, if he would've done it in the third quarter, it might have fired his boys up to get the win, or at least keep them from being down 20 points in the fourth quarter!!

But what this ALSO is about is George Karl didn't like the way the Knicks treated his good buddy and fellow UNC alum Larry Brown last year. Sure the Knicks treated him like shit and the way Marbury and them were allowed to treat their coach on camera and in the media was way too fucked up, and Isiah in some ways, let that shit happen, and Karl didn't like that. (Is it just me? or does that scar on his face make George Karl look like some 1960's mobster from Philly?) This is about more than the players on the court the way this is being handled in the media... This is about trying to destroy a BLACK coach who doesn't shuck and jive for nobody.... now if Zeke could only get some wins he'd have some leverage for acting a damn fool whenever he wanted to...

~C

It's CHRISTMAS season

If it weren't for CHRISTMAS, there would be no need to create an antithesis to it. There would be no push to put up a menorrah or a kwanzah candle, or a buddhist monk, or a racoon booty skin for whatever else you worship other than Christianity. So lets stop trying to include everybody in this one holiday all right?

This is the CHRISTMAS season, it always has been, it always will be. Now, personally, I can't stand the season, as you are perpetually beaten over the head with the requirement to buy everyone gifts at this time of year, not to mention the god awful music that you hear everywhere you go. I heard Christmas music in the freakin Indian Subway the other day!! I suppose they are catering to their customers desires, but they're Hindu for Punjab's sake!!!

Starbucks is the worst. You can't buy anything without being reminded of the holiday, even the damn rice krispy treats have red and green on them... blasphemy to screw up a classic American desert like that. But at LEAST they're not hiding the fact that they're celebrating Christmas. I mean do the Jews integrate peppermint into their knishes, kugels, kibbles and bits? I don't think so, so all of the peppermint mochas and stuff are for the CHRISTMAS season... and I betcha Starbucks is ran by a bunch of Jews.

Speaking of Starbucks, I'm a really good tipper to any bartender that is going to get me fu*ked up. But I don't see the point of tipping the barrista at Starbucks?? What are you doing besides raping me over the coals by charging me and extra 40 cents for soy milk, an extra 30 cents for extra chai on top of the $4 you're already charging me??? And I don't even get a buzz??? I dated a chick that worked at Starbucks once and if I remember correctly she made pretty good money on tips... it didn't matter since the whole staff was on X half the time anyway, but I still don't see the point... Sure I'm getting raped even worse on the price of a drink but I'm also tipping a bartender to listen to my problems, and make me feel welcome.

maybe if i ordered blended drinks that take some effort... that might deserve a tip...

It's like when I buy a sandwich at lunch time with my checkcard, there is a little place on there for me to give a tip. I find that ridiculous. But I suppose it begs the question on whether or not there are certain levels of service that don't require a tip even though their asking for one... I would rather leave a tip for the immigrant who empties my trash at the office every day. Now THAT, to me is a service I wouldn't want to be without. I'm going to start leaving a couble bills at the bottom of the trash can.

But if I'm out at a nice restaurant I tip well... Since I usually only drink where I know the bartenders, all the money I would've saved on my drink hookups end up going back into their pocket anyway..

.... Have you tried this Omega-3 Fish Oil supplement yet?? I got an email from a cousin that said since he started taking it, he hasn't had a cold in 3 years. i dunno, it just gives me gas, but maybe it has to clear out my system first before it starts working... it's not a good look for me, the new employee to be blowing it up in my pod... not to mention the time I shit on my co-worker's shoes. So I think I'm going to leave the Omega 3 alone. I think i know who's shoes they were now.. there is this one dude who doesn't say much to me... I think it's him, but I just smile and say hi as if, "it couldn't have been that nice black guy who shit on my shoes, could it?"

Merry Christmas all. I'm sure I'll have some good holiday stories about the fam soon..

~c

My wine is the talk of the party!

The time of Christmas parties is always a fun time, free booze and free food. When I was single, it was also that time of year that you finally got to bang that office chic that you had spent countless unfruitful hours flirting with all year.

This year is a little weird because of how the holiday falls, EVERYONE is having their parties on the 16th which just makes it impossible to make it to everyone's party. So the choice has to be made to either not drink a whole bunch and make a quick appearance at everyone's party, which, while honorable and diplomatic will be a lot less fun as the majority of the night will be spent in the car, or you just choose one, the person that will probably have the best party and just stick with that one. Choices, choices....

Well, there was one party on the 9th which made it a no brainer to show up. So I roll up to the party, carefully parallel park, and as I open the door the bottle of wine we brought falls out of the car and rolls right into the only 24" opening within a half a block.... and the bottle fell into the freaking gutter.

Can you believe that shit? I wouldn't have either if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. It is an unlikely story that noone would be likely to believe. It really just sounds like I forgot the wine and made up some shit to cover my ass. So what was supposed to be a subtle apology to the host ended up being a group of guys, standing outside in the cold with every garden and home utility aparatus from the house trying to fish a bottle of wine out of the gutter.

We could see it a couple of times, so everyone knew I wasn't lying. That's all that mattered to me, but you know how men are... once they have a task or something that is defeating them, we have to stick with it until we win. I gave up and told the others they should too. Eventually I left two guys outside and went in to enjoy the party. They came in without the wine about 20 minutes later. Oh well at least my wine was the talk of the party!

~C

Great Iraq article..

I read a fascinating article on Iraq over the weekend that I thought I'd share with you on Iraq. I don't think I can reprint the entire article from the New York Times without permission so I'm providing a link to the article HERE. It does a good job of explaining why our approach to "victory" is all wrong.

You might need to be registered to view the article, but here is an excerpt below...

~C
-----

“I am facing the most difficult times of my life here in Baghdad. Since I am a Sunni, I became a target to be killed. You know that our army and police are Shia, so every checkpoint represents a serious threat to Sunnis. During the last three weeks, two of my friends were killed at check points belonging to the police. They first asked to show IDs and when they saw the Sunni family name, they killed them.”

There, in plain enough English, you have it. The Iraqi Army and police whose proposed reinforcement lies at the center of the Iraq Study Group’s plan for American extraction are often less neutral institutions supporting the nation than a flimsy camouflage for Shia to settle accounts with Sunnis, while the Kurds bide their time and hope the child of chaos will be an independent Kurdistan.

The Iraqi Army and police are indeed overwhelmingly — but not exclusively — Shia. Most recruitment took place at a time when Sunnis had opted out of the new Iraq. Much has been made of the American error in disbanding Saddam Hussein’s army. More might have been made of the errors committed in creating the new force.

Feeling breezy?

I feel for Britney. I really do. She's done such a good job of keeping her private parts just that, private... until now. We ain't seen a little nip or nothing over her entire career. Then she gets a divorice and starts hanging with Paris, and we get new cooch shots 3 days in a row... But what's really the big deal??? Plenty of chics don't wear underwear!!

I've dated chicks that don't wear underpants on the reg, I've been to the club and have seen ladies dancing on the bar without underwear on too! Both in Chicago AND DC... So for all the Britney haters who are calling her a hoe for doing this or that somehow it's Paris' fault, it's just not true... I find it ironic that hanging with the queen of homemade porn somehow makes your body expose itself to the paparazzi, but still. I mean the second set of pics was just phenomenal, it was like dude froze space and time and just snapped away because I refuse to believe any normal woman wearing a short skirt without panties would leave her flower on view for as long as it would've taken my man to take the pictures that he did..

I was talking to my neighbor who said, "How come these famous white women don't wear drawls??!!!!" I don't think this is a white or black phenomenon either as I've dated all races of women who don't wear underwear (although it is more common with the white chicks). And seen all types of races up on top of the bar getting their groove on without underwear on.

And it's not a recent phenomenon either, this has been going on since at least my early bartending days of 1996. When chics would stand by the bar and let you know they didn't have any panties on...

me: "Really? No panties?? well it's still $5 for that Amaretto Sour sweetie."

her: "But I just told you I didn't have on panties!!??"

me: "Yes, but that doesn't mean you get your drink for free!!"

I'm such an ass hole. Not that I'm really an ass hole, but I refused to allow the sight of sexy women to sway me into free drinks. After a while you become immune to it and you can see women who know how to use their sex appeal to get what they want coming a mile away. It makes it even more fun because they are so used to getting what they want... that when they don't get it, they don't know how to act....

The only reason It's a big deal is because it's BRITNEY's cooch. Much in the same way the frenzy that occurred when the Vida cooch pics started circulating, after a while it died down when we all realized, oh, okay, her cooch is.... a cooch too...

The only cooch I think I'd slap my momma to take a peak at is Sade's, but other than that you can keep the celebrity cooch shots to yourself, so please stop filling my inbox with pics of Britney's cooch. i've seen it and it's a regular old cooch okay?

~C

Don't forget to check out my links..

I'm always adding new links to my del.icio.us site so you can always go here to find out what websites I've been checking out lately. There is always a link over there in the margin on the right.. ------------>

~C

http://del.icio.us/curtischronicles

a new wet spot...

See, I know what you're thinking... and you're nasty. Just because I always have sex on my mind doesn't mean that I'm going to write about it.. actually, I've been pretty good about not writing about sex for quite a while now. I suppose I've developed a new sense of respect for the people I've had sex with... well, most of them... but it probably has more to do with the type of relationships I've been having over the past couple of years which have been much more serious and/or require a bit of trust.

If I ran over here to my blog and wrote about parking lot sex in the front seat of her car every time it happened that wouldn't be very cool now would it? It might increase my readership, but what would it say about me and the respect (or lack thereof) of the relationship I may be in at the time.

There are usually subtle hints here and there, but I've become a lot less direct about it because quite honestly at some point, you feel that pu$$y is pu$$y and sure some women know how to work it better than others, but ultimately, I'm just happy I'm getting some on a regular basis ya know??!! I've actually found myself in a situation where I'm not laying the pipe often enough if you can believe that!? They say that as women get older their sexual drive increases and I can attest that there is some truth to that.

Oh, so back to my wet spot. Yeah, so I'm finally building out the pimpish master bedroom closet in my new house and as I'm framing the wall, I get to the ceiling and wouldn't you know it... fu*king ceiling is moist... which means I have a roof leak that has already penetrated the roof and soaked through the drywall to the point that I can feel it on the underside of the ceiling. So add "new roof" to the list of things that I didn't plan on doing this winter.... FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK!!!!!

So I had to make a decision on whether or not to stop, tear down the ceiling and wait until I get my new roof on until I finish the MBR closet............... so I just ignored it... yeah, I just acted like I didn't even notice it and kept on going and figure one day I'll deal with it... I mean, I'll know it's always there and there is a problem that needs to get fixed... but what the hell was I going to do about it??? I've reached the point where I just want to get things done in the house, so I decided to just keep on moving and deal with the problem another day.

I wonder if this is a metaphor for how I live my life??? The act of passing by and ignoring the things I don't want to deal with until I absolutely HAVE to... hmmmm.... funny how a little wet spot can make you completely re-evaluate your life ya know?......

~c

.... and you thought this post was going to be about sex........ ;)

What happened to rock music?

Seriously... What in the fu*k happened to rock music?

I've been trying to find some good next shit to buy, but I don't like anything new??? Maybe it's me, but it all just sounds too "tiny" for me... Like, there's not enough ASS in it anymore.. You know what I'm saying? I'm tired of all this fluffy wuffy weak shit, i wanna take it back to the RAW. Rock is suffering from all these band trying to be on some 2000 Radiohead atmospheric bullshit...

I mean as atmospheric as the Smashing Pumpkins were, those MFers could ROCK OUT when they wanted to!!! The spacey shit was always a set up for the blow your ass off crescendo which led to the ... you know what I'm saying right?! I miss that and the complete rawness of the Nirvana era... Hell, at one point I was secretly buying anything that was made by a band from Seattle... but what happened?

Maybe in this age of bedroom musicians, I think we've lost the art of making albums, concept albums, of mixing, of mastering your music and maybe thats why it all sounds like shit.. These youngins don't know nothing about mastering your shit the way Herb Powers or ...what'shisname... um... Brian Eno used to do!!! (I can't lie, I had to look that shit up..)

I'm so done with R&B and Hip-Hop its not even funny. All my Soul heroes (D'Angelo, Maxwell, etc...) have disappeared, so I'm trying to get back into Rock, but its been hard... help a brotha out and recommend some good Rock music if you know any i should be checking for...

~C

Racial tirades

First it was Mel Gibson with his rant against the Jews, and now its Michael Richards from Seinfeld fame with his rant against blacks.

I could go into a little tirade about white people and racism that lingers under the surface... and how suppressing it for so long causes little outbursts like this, but that would be too easy right? In many ways, i think we'd all be a lot better off if racism was still more overt and out in the open. Then, there would be no question where people stand ya know?

I could walk into my office and see my boss and say, "Hey whitey, how ya doing? Actually, I don't care how you're doing, but hows my money doing? Did we pull in enough to pay me this week?"

and he could reply, "It's all good little niggaboy. I'm stacking those phat papers this week to make sure we've got plenty in the stash. But keep busting your ass because if shit gets tight, your black ass is gonna be the first to go, ya feel me?"

.. See, this way, there is no misconceptions and I won't have to go into a tirade about racism when I'm the first to get let go.

But to all of the black people that are mad at Michael Richards and are swearing off Seinfeld, how about this? Stop saying the word "nigga" in mixed company. Stop playing hip-hop songs around mixed company that has the word "nigga" in every other line. Until we stop using the word, we'll have to deal with the inevitable "nigga" vs "nigger" comments or even worse the "well you and all the hip-hoppers use it!!?" argument which puts me in the position of having to apologize for ignorant niggas.

So don't hate on Michael Richards, i was going to give him all kinds of props until that pitiful backtracking on Letterman the following day. After so eloquently expressing his true feelings at the moment, i wish he would've embraced it, the world would be such a better place. he should've rolled up on Letterman and said, "Hell yeah i called those MFers niggas!!! They were doing nigga shit!!! I make too much money to be heckled by those people!!! Now what beeyaatches!!!??? WU - TANG!!!!"

The funny thing is if a black person went into a tirade about white people, it probably wouldn't make the news... You know why??? Because white folks already know we don't like most of them! ha ha!! Nah, I'm playing... we like white people, otherwise we wouldn't have jobs and shit.

Well, Happy Thanksgivingto you all. I'm volunteering on Thanksgiving day and spending the rest of the long weekend building a walk-in closet. I have a lot to be thankful for this year and I hope you take the time to do something productive and/or give some money or something to someone / something who is less fortunate that your internet savvy computer having ass, k?

~C

the urge to purge

Do you ever get the feeling that you just need to start fresh from time to time but you're already so deeply involved into things that it is hard to understand or even fathom how to start over or at least move forward with a fresh perspective on things? I know I've had the feeling lately that I just need to get rid of some things so that i can focus on some other things, but I keep everything so its hard to understand or realize what it is that I should purge...

It is so easy to get comfortable and maintain the status quo with things in our lives sometimes that making the difficult decisions becomes something we just put off and never get around too... i can feel it, decision time is coming for a lot of things, and for a lot of people I know. I only hope we're all prepared to make the tough choices when the time comes.

~C

Negroes Don't Vote! - The Afterparty!!! 11/7!!!

Call me jaded. Call me nihilistic. Call me apathetic. And i know it is very wrong of me to make this assumption, so wrong and unfair, to assume the things i assume about my people from time to time, BUT I'd bet money that half of these folks that live across the street from me aren't going to vote today.

So I'm looking forward to the afterparty, everyone out on the front porch drinking malt liquor while the DirecTV tells the world about the Republican victory. There is going to be lots of good talk about how they "heard" about voting machine error, voter intimidation, butterfly punchcard ballots, diebold, and stolen elections... but did you get off your ass on vote?

I understand how voting in DC is kind of a waste of time, but there are some important positions like the school board president, ANC commissioners, etc... that are supposed to make a difference. With all the beuracracy that exists, you wonder if it really can though. But for all of these important senate races in MD, VA, MO, TN, black folks have got to get out to the polls!!!

I want you all to make someone feel guilty today, that's right, guilt folks into going to the polls. Hold their hand, walk them there, I don't care but get people out to vote.

Now I'm TOTALLY the pot calling the kettle black because I didn't vote. But not because I didn't want to, I'm having a mess of a time getting a DC drivers license / ID card so that I can transfer my car title, tags and insurance to my new address. It's been a freaking nightmare and in the process I missed the deadline to apply for registration. I know, I know. I'm pretty pissed about it so you don't have to rub it in. But hell, It's taken me 3 months to get a freaking SuperCan!! So I understand the apathy that exists after living here for many years in poverty that a freaking vote ain't going to change shit about your life... I get that, but breaking out the grill and cooking ribs in the front yard when it's 40 degrees while you and your neighbor trade spotter duties on his weight bench (also in the front yard), with the 6 year old running around in a T-shirt and snot running down his nose ain't really doing much to change shit either.

Did I tell you the one about my neighbor across the street that tried to rent me my own house?

I can't remember if i did or not, but she was sitting on her front porch not doing shit for a few hours while I was coming in and out of the house covered in dust from tearing up a wall or some shit, when she comes up to me and asks if she could come inside and see my house. I calmly told her no, to wait until I'm done and I'll be sure she gets an invite to the party. But she proceeds to tell me she's been wanting to rent one of these houses for a while, so I should rent it to her because she needs a 3 bedroom house for her and her 3 kids because this one bedroom apartment just isn't big enough...

I explain that I wouldn't have anywhere to live if I rented her my house. She then proceeded to give me a little bit of an attitude and said, "You mean to tell me you're gonna have all of this house all to yourself??!!! That's not fair!!! Why don't you rent me the house and I'll rent the basement out to you?...."

".................."

... I feel like I've told this story already no??? i'm too lazy to scan the chronicles to see if I typed it though..

I said, "So you're going to rent ME, the basement of MY house while you live in the top two floors.... does that sound like a deal I should accept to you?"

she said, ".... naw, i guess you're right. well when you're ready to rent to me, just let me know..."

I sure will... i sure will..

aaahhhhhh, finally...

whew!!! got my first check from the new job yesterday.. what a freaking relief!!

it's funny how things work out, but I was worried there for a second. Sure i had the new job and had started working, but I hadn't been paid in a minute and I had a mortgage to pay. My old job send my last check to my house via fedex, but you know how brothas in the hood are... they don't get too many fedex trucks around my way, so instead of leaving a note, or getting the REQUIRED SIGNATURE to deliver the package, the fed ex guy/girl decides they'll just leave the package at my front door.

Now, I have a nice brand spanking new front door, so I could see how one might get the impression that everything is copasetic and it would be ok to leave the package at my door. however, if one would turn around and take note of the family of 7 living in the one bedroom apartment who put their entire living room in the front yard when the sun is out, or perhaps the perpetual go-go concert that occurs due to the fact that my other neighbor puts his speakers in the window and plays music for the neighborhood, .... one might be inclined to not leave a fedex package lying at someone's front door for all to see. Maybe it's just me, but this fedex person is an idiot.

Needless to say, someone stole the fedex with my last check in it. So when I called up my old job to curse them out for not getting my check to me in a timely manner I found out it was delivered and left at my door. So we had to stop payment on the check, cut me a new one, blah blah blah..... curtis don't get paid for a while... then my new company had the audacity to make me work for a whole pay period before they paid me. (jokes...) not to mention I racked up a $450 cell phone bill with all of the calling and interviewing setup that occurred last month (which is prompting me to switch to Sprints flexible plan shit). there was a little period there when the bills were all coming in, the mortgage was due and i hadn't been paid. But it all looks like it's going to work itself out.

Also, a big fat congratulations to my main man Ron whose wife is pregnant. There is something in a man's voice who is about to have a baby that is difficult to describe... Well, I mean, when the baby is planned you know... There is this notion of self-assuredness and confidence which screams "HA MOTHERFU*KERS MY SOLDIERS MARCH GATDAMMIT!!!". you can't really pinpoint what it is, but there is something empowering in knowing for sure that you can breed. At least you hear it with the first child, I don't really have any friends with more than one child, but I'm imaging once the financial realities kick in, that same aura of pride isn't quite there for #2... probably more of a "fu*k me! again?!!" that comes through in the voice, but I'm just speculating...

~C

Little Indian Boy Dancing

THIS SHIT HERE... has to be one of the best Youtube videos I've seen all year...

happy Friday!

~C

settling in..

The new job is going cool.


The hours are not as crazy as a typical architectural firm and people are way casual... almost too casual. The pod next to me has played indoor soccer during the day about four times so far in the last week and a half. They wanted me to join in and represent my pod, but I'm a bit rusty on my footwork, so I took a pass.

I don't know if you know or not, I think I mentioned it before, but I HATE shitting in a public toilet. I mean, there are two tenants on this floor so we share the bathroom with another company, but even still, I don't know these folks in here like that yet, but I was forced to take a public shit yesterday.

The office folks wanted to go for burritos so I said sure why not. Lately, my stomach hasn't been able to handle beans and spicy shit the way it used to, but I still have confidence in myself that I can ya know? Kinda like when you're growing up and your dad still thinks he can beat you in basketball, but you know he's too slow, but he still expects to win? that's how I feel about my stomach.

So 3 hours later around 4 or so, I start busting my ass. Now if it was 5, I would've just played it off for the next half an hour or so, then bounced. But 4 means I have at least another 90 minutes to go. I bit the bullet and took the public shit. Then I flush the toilet.... and it doesnt' flush.

Water slowly started to rise to the top, then it stopped and went down for a little bit... so I waited, then flushed again... same thing.... water rose a little higher, then went down a little bit, but the toilet wouldn't flush.

Just as I'm contemplating whether to try again and risk overflowing or leave it, someone else comes in and locks themselves in the stall next door. So I'm thinking to myself, what if they saw me? what if they know my shoes? I can't just leave it here now right? I'll be known as the nasty MFer who doesn't flush after himself!!! He sounded like he was settling in for the long haul... broke out a paper and everything and I sat there staring at the toilet, contemplating..

flush..

don't flush..

flush...

don't flush.....

I don't know if I'm just stubborn, or what, but I expected that toilet to work the first two times, so I'm thinking it HAS to work this time right??? No.

I flush the toilet and it was like a monster flush from above. I swear to God it felt like two times as much water came rushing in this time and I saw there was nothing I could do about it... As the toilet starts to overflow I let out a "AWWW SHITTT!!!" as i watch all of the water flow directly into the stall next door onto this guys shoes.

I contemplated saying something, but I just washed my hands and left. I can only assume my "aww shit" gave me away, so now I have to work here wondering if someone thinks I'm the asshole who flushed shit onto their shoes yesterday without saying anything....

~C

the big bad chronicles update

Where to begin?

So I guess its been about three weeks ago now, I moved into the new house on a Thursday, Friday, Saturday. To celebrate I went around the corner to my neighborhood liquor store and bought a bottle of Champagne. Well, the liquor stores in my neighborhood aren’t of the “higher end” variety, so it was actually a bottle of Spumante. Sat in my new crib and got lit. I woke up the next morning with the absolute worst headache you could imagine. No wonder the brothas in the hood don't come outside until 1.

I received a call on Saturday that two people were laid off on Friday. Two really good people, one was a single mother with a son. But I honestly had no idea that I would be next. So on Monday after lunch I got the call down to the conference room. Its a weird feeling to get asked to come into a conference room and chat and the person that called you in there doesn’t have anything in front of them. No drawings to review, no pen, no paper, nothing.

She was obviously an amateur at doing this because she couldn’t get her words straight. I guess it is just as hard for her to do as for me to hear. Well, probably not, but you could tell she was uncomfortable. So she said her piece and tried to sum it up and end the conversation but I wasn’t letting her off of the hook that easy. So I asked her questions for about 15-20 minutes. and just made her sit there while I kept saying "WOW." in utter disbelief. It was almost like it was some cruel joke because I knew there were a bunch of jokers still there that hadn't been laid off, and probably wouldn't be. She was all kinds of tripped up on her words giving me a variety of reasons for the layoff. After me there was another, and total it was almost a quarter of the architects that got the boot.

Its funny when you look at the people that were kept vs the people that were laid off. The people laid off were forward thinkers, took initiative, worked hard but most importantly questioned "the system" and worked to improve things rather than stay silent and maintain the status quo. Many of the people who were kept were "soldiers". very good at following orders, not questioning the higher ranks, and simply coming in and doing their job with no questions asked. I suppose when you have a company you can't have too many chefs in the kitchen, but architecture is inherently supposed to be a creative industry with a lot of freaking chefs!! Apparently, for the type of work that is coming up, they want to have a bunch of line cooks, and that is what they're left with. (not everyone! but some of the people still there .... )

At the end of the “meeting” I asked to take the rest of the day off. I walked over to Dupont Circle, and started calling everyone that I knew in the field to let them know the deal. I had just bought a freakin’ house and now I had no idea how I was going to pay for it. It’s funny how you naturally react when you have your back up against the wall. When there is something you have worked really hard for, you know there is no way you’re going to let anything take it away from you.

I called people I went to school with, former co-workers, people I met at parties, family and friends to see if anyone had any leads. That night I came home and spruced up my resume. Since they gave me two weeks to stay and finish things out, I went in the next day looking dapper as fuck, head high, early as hell. The other people that were laid off either didn’t come in or were moping around the office. I was upset as hell the night before, but whats that deodorant commercial say? “Never let them see you sweat.”

I went in two hours early and e-mailed my resume to everyone that told me too. By Wednesday, I had two interviews set up for Thursday. By Thursday I had two more set up for Tuesday the following week. By the end of those interviews had 3 solid job leads. Another round of interviews with a couple had me feeling pretty good, but I still didn’t have any offers.

The following Monday, my last day of work and two weeks after being laid off I had lunch with some former co-workers at my first job I took when I moved back to DC and they had now moved up to be a Principal and Associate Principal at that firm. They had branched off and started their own little division within the company that they wanted me to help them run. By the end of lunch, they made it clear they wanted me to come back and I had a verbal offer that would put me in a new tax bracket.

Yeah.

Went back to the office and the boss wanted to chat with me on my last day.

Now you have to imagine, I just got an offer that blew my socks off, so you KNOW I couldn't WAIT to come in and talk to the boss. I'm thinking to myself, PLEASE say some shit to me today, I triple dog DARE you to say some shit...

I go in and get asked to close the door. And I sat there as I was told my behavior over the last two weeks has been inappropriate, unprofessional, and how disappointed in how I’ve handled myself over the last two weeks they have been. My interaction with the young people in the office has been disappointing (I went drinking with them every day I wasn't interviewing)

I’m not sure how they expected a brotha who just got laid off to act? But I’ve always been “nice black guy Curtis” at the job. I get along with everyone, make people feel good despite their inadequacies, show up early, stay late, work hard, etc...

Since I was laid off? I’ve been “dat nigga Curt” at the job. They probably just didn’t think I had it in me, but it’s been more like,

“Curt, can you help me out for a second, what I need is for you to...”
“... naw, I’m kinda busy right now. I don’t think I’m going to be able to help you.”
“well when you’re done can you come by and...”
“...naw, I don’t think I’ll be done with this in the next two weeks.”
“.........”

“ah-ight, I’ll holla at you later though! Good luck getting that done!” {{maximizes Internet Explorer}}

So yeah, I haven’t been the best team player, but shit, I was outta there, and now with my <> I wasn’t trying to hear it, so I cut her off and basically told her she was full of shit... not in those exact words, but you knowhumsayin.. The other thing I had in my back pocket was that the DAY BEFORE, I had found out from my traveling partner that we actually WON the freakin’ job they had sent me half way around the world for, the one that had me stranded in Cameroon.

After berating me for my behavior for about 10 minutes, she told me since I was the one most intimately connected with the project, she had reconsidered and she would like me to stay....., BUT I have to improve my behavior and attitude if I’m going to last around here..”

Yeah.

I almost laughed, but I sat there stunned, recounting in my mind the emotionally and physically draining experience I had been through over the past two weeks, the fear of losing my house, the time / energy / expense I had spent whipping together a new portfolio and running all around the area for interviews and NOW, NOOWW??? On my last freakin’ day here you want to ask me to stay????

I should have walked in there with my new salary requirements written on my forehead... “um what? I can’t hear you? Did you say you want to put me in a new tax bracket too??? What??? I can’t hear you??” It took all the courage in the world to muster up, but I took a long pause and said,

“I’ll be sure to weigh this attractive option against the other offers I’ve received and promptly let you know of my decision.”

The following day, I received two more offers. So with three offers in my pocket, I grabbed the lady friend and went to Ft. Lauderdale / Miami to get some sun, get to the beach, hear the ocean, but more importantly to go to a place where I can relax, think clearly and make up my mind which job I should take. I went from being laid off to having 3 job offers in two weeks.

I called the boss from the beach, waves and shit crashing in the background, to let them know that despite the genuine offer to stay, I’ve chosen to move on to a new company but I thank them so much for the experiences I have had and hope to one day work with them in the future.

Can you pass the SPF 30 please? Oh yeah, and another mojito while you’re up?

I returned, tanned with a clear mind. Then I walked into class and realized I hadn’t prepared a gotdamn thing to teach that day. So upon the recommendation of a soon-to-be-lawyer friend of mine, I told them the story I’ve just told you. I made a special effort to point out that ALL of my interviews came from people I went to school with or former co-workers. I’ve never been laid off in my life. But over the years, I’ve built up a good network of people who know I work hard. I play hard too, but when it’s time to get down to business, people know that if Curt is on the team, the shit is getting done.

My grandmother used to say that you may not always understand why things are happening to you, but there is something from your past that has prepared you for it and taught you how to handle the situation, no matter what it is. What I was trying to stress to my students is that the things you do today will greatly affect your future in more ways than you will ever know. I think some of them got it.

I’ve been working hard on the house for the past week and am making a lot of progress, but there is still lots to do. I start the new job tomorrow and am really excited about it. I really saw myself at my old job for a number of years, growing there until I was able to branch out onto my own, but things didn’t happen as I planned but they never do. Out of all of this, it’s funny how it takes a ‘tragedy’ of sorts for you to see how much people care for you and will look out for you. Everyone I reached out to for help, did something to try to help me out, whether it was passing my resume along or simply buying me a beer. Many people helped in their own way, and to all of you I say thank you.

I even was getting calls from companies and recruiters that I had no idea how they got my name or how they found out I was looking for a job, so to you unnamed souls who were looking out for me without even letting me know, I want you to know I greatly appreciate it as I was getting more job leads than I knew how to handle at one point.

I still don’t have internet access at the new crib, so the chronicles may still be a little sporadic, but I hope to put up house pics soon. I also have plenty of neighborhood stories, from the impromptu block parties, to the fact that I have mystery fucking going on in my backyard as I've found four condom wrappers so far. There was the police chase through the alley that ended at the end of the block when the suspects t-boned a police car, as well as the domestic violence dispute that woke me up at 3am last week... stay tuned, more to come...

C

Hows your network?

I always thought I had a pretty good network and it has just now been put to the test.

I was laid off from my job last week so I reached out to my inner circle, even dipped into the second ring a little too and already had 2 interviews with 2 more lined up. Having glowing recommendations passed along with your resume is more valuable than anything you can imagine. I should have an offer or two by sometime next week.

My little contribution for the day: Build a network of talented, well-respected individuals in your field because you never know when you'll have to use it. Couple that with a reputation for being highly skilled and having a strong work ethic and you'll always be highly employable.

Sorry for the lack of posts, but obviously I've been very busy on the job hunt in any spare time I have... I have a few new house pics to post up too...

~c

I just got laid off!!

son of a BITCH!!!!

... moved into the house on Thursday, Friday & Saturday..

... get laid off from the job on Monday..

ain't that some shit....

..... I really don't want to have to act ignorant this week.... Lord give me strength.....

~C

coming down to the wire...

Well, I'm out of time. I have to be out of my house on Saturday so I had to stop working on the house where i was at and that leaves me two days to pack all of my things and move... I clearly could've planned this better, but i just wanted to get more rooms of the house done before I moved in.

i bascially have the two small bedrooms, bathroom, dining room, and the entry / staircase area done. Now that my new windows are installed I can finish up the living room. But I'll have to work on those rooms while I'm living there. So if you see me walking around with dust on my shoes it's because I'll be living in a construction site.

After finally getting home to relax a bit, I turned on MSNBC (which reminds me, i need to cancel my cable) and caught one of the most impressive media commentaries on 9/11 that I've ever heard by Keith Oberman. I found it online and am sharing it below..

~C

--------------------

Keith Olbermann blasts President Bush in his latest "Special Comment" section on Countdown tonight. He leaves no stone unturned…

Video-WMP Video-QT

Full Transcript:

And lastly tonight a Special Comment on why we are here. Half a lifetime ago, I worked in this now-empty space. And for 40 days after the attacks, I worked here again, trying to make sense of what happened, and was yet to happen, as a reporter.

And all the time, I knew that the very air I breathed contained the remains of thousands of people, including four of my friends, two in the planes and — as I discovered from those "missing posters" seared still into my soul — two more in the Towers.

And I knew too, that this was the pyre for hundreds of New York policemen and firemen, of whom my family can claim half a dozen or more, as our ancestors.

I belabor this to emphasize that, for me… this was, and is, and always shall be, personal. And anyone who claims that I and others like me are "soft", or have "forgotten" the lessons of what happened here — is at best a grasping, opportunistic, dilettante — and at worst, an idiot — whether he is a commentator, or a Vice President, or a President. However. Of all the things those of us who were here five years ago could have forecast — of all the nightmares that unfolded before our eyes, and the others that unfolded only in our minds… none of us could have predicted… this.

Five years later this space… is still empty. Five years later there is no Memorial to the dead. Five years later there is no building rising to show with proud defiance that we would not have our America wrung from us, by cowards and criminals. Five years later this country’s wound is still open. Five years… later this country’s mass grave is still unmarked.

Five years later… this is still… just a background for a photo-op. It is beyond shameful. — At the dedication of the Gettysburg Memorial — barely four months after the last soldier staggered from another Pennsylvania field, Mr. Lincoln said "we can not dedicate - we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract." Lincoln used those words to immortalize their sacrifice.

Today our leaders could use those same words to rationalize their reprehensible inaction. "We can nto dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground." So we won’t.

Instead they bicker and buck-pass. They thwart private efforts, and jostle to claim credit for initiatives that go nowhere. They spend the money on irrelevant wars, and elaborate self-congratulations, and buying off columnists to write how good a job they’re doing — instead of doing any job at all. Five years later, Mr. Bush… we are still fighting the terrorists on these streets. And look carefully, sir — on these 16 empty acres, the terrorists… are clearly, still winning. And, in a crime against every victim here and every patriotic sentiment you mouthed but did not enact, you have done nothing about it. — And there is something worse still than this vast gaping hole in this city, and in the fabric of our nation. There is, its symbolism — of the promise unfulfilled, the urgent oath, reduced to lazy execution.

The only positive on 9/11 and the days and weeks that so slowly and painfully followed it… was the unanimous humanity, here, and throughout the country. The government, the President in particular, was given every possible measure of support. Those who did not belong to his party — tabled that. Those who doubted the mechanics of his election — ignored that. Those who wondered of his qualifications — forgot that.

History teaches us that nearly unanimous support of a government cannot be taken away from that government, by its critics. It can only be squandered by those who use it not to heal a nation’s wounds, but to take political advantage. Terrorists did not come and steal our newly-regained sense of being American first, and political, fiftieth. Nor did the Democrats. Nor did the media. Nor did the people. The President — and those around him — did that. They promised bi-partisanship, and then showed that to them, "bi-partisanship" meant that their party would rule and the rest would have to follow, or be branded, with ever-escalating hysteria, as morally or intellectually confused; as appeasers; as those who, in the Vice President’s words yesterday, "validate the strategy of the terrorists." They promised protection, and then showed that to them "protection" meant going to war against a despot whose hand they had once shaken… a despot who we now learn from our own Senate Intelligence Committee, hated Al-Qaeda as much as we did.
The polite phrase for how so many of us were duped into supporting a war, on the false premise that it had ’something to do’ with 9/11, is "lying by implication."

The impolite phrase, is "impeachable offense."

Not once in now five years has this President ever offered to assume responsibility for the failures that led to this empty space… and to this, the current, curdled, version of our beloved country.

Still, there is a last snapping flame from a final candle of respect and fairness: even his most virulent critics have never suggested he alone bears the full brunt of the blame for 9/11. Half the time, in fact, this President has been so gently treated, that he has seemed not even to be the man most responsible — for anything — in his own administration.

Yet what is happening this very night?

A mini-series, created, influenced — possibly financed by — the most radical and cold of domestic political Machiavellis, continues to be televised into our homes.

The documented truths of the last fifteen years are replaced by bald-faced lies; the talking points of the current regime parroted; the whole sorry story blurred, by spin, to make the party out of office seem vacillating and impotent, and the party in office, seem like the only option. How dare you, Mr. President, after taking cynical advantage of the unanimity and love, and transmuting it into fraudulent war and needless death… after monstrously transforming it into fear and suspicion and turning that fear into the campaign slogan of three elections… how dare you or those around you… ever "spin" 9/11. — Just as the terrorists have succeeded — are still succeeding — as long as there is no memorial and no construction here at Ground Zero… So too have they succeeded, and are still succeeding — as long as this government uses 9/11 as a wedge to pit Americans against Americans. This is an odd point to cite a television program, especially one from March of 1960. But as Disney’s continuing sell-out of the truth (and this country) suggests, even television programs can be powerful things.

And long ago, a series called "The Twilight Zone" broadcast a riveting episode entitled "The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street." In brief: a meteor sparks rumors of an invasion by extra-terrestrials disguised as humans. The electricity goes out. A neighbor pleads for calm.

Suddenly his car — and only his car — starts. Someone suggests he must be the alien. Then another man’s lights go on.

As charges and suspicion and panic overtake the street, guns are inevitably produced. An "alien" is shot — but he turns out to be just another neighbor, returning from going for help.

The camera pulls back to a near-by hill, where two extra-terrestrials areseen, manipulating a small device that can jam electricity. The veteran tells his novice that there’s no need to actually attack, that you just turn off a few of the human machines and then, "they pick the most dangerous enemy they can find, and it’s themselves."

And then, in perhaps his finest piece of writing, Rod Serling sums it up with words of remarkable prescience, given where we find ourselves tonight. "The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices - to be found only in the minds of men. "For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own — for the children, and the children yet unborn." — When those who dissent are told time and time again — as we will be, if not tonight by the President, then tomorrow by his portable public chorus — that he is preserving our freedom, but that if we use any of it, we are somehow un-American… When we are scolded, that if we merely question, we have "forgotten the lessons of 9/11"… look into this empty space behind me and the bi-partisanship upon which this administration also did not build, and tell me:

Who has left this hole in the ground?

We have not forgotten, Mr. President.

You have.

May this country forgive you.

Making others "feel" smart

This is my smart office politics tip of the day. You'll move far in the world, if you know how to make others "feel" smart. It doesn't matter if you know more than them, the whole thing here is about making people like you.

If people like you, then they are more apt to accept your fuck-ups which allows you to stretch the boundaries of a lot of things. If people like you (especially people in a position of power), you'll be forgiven when you come in late, forget some shit, etc... and you will be less likely to be given shitty grunt work. Why? because they just might think to themselves, "this is pretty shitty work... lets give to X instead of curtis."

There is this person I can't really stand in the office, but they're important and the boss likes this person, so you know what I tolerate them. Everyone that has worked closely with this person usually ends up leaving the company. So I try my best to avoid having to deal with them. But in order to keep from getting stuck working with them and to at least make this person feel like we're cool, every once in a while I give them the opportunity to be smart.

It's as simple as saying, "So I haven't heard anything about X in awhile... how is that going?" which translates too "Hey, do you have a minute to gloat to me about how important you are?" It's kinda like giving a baby some nipple.

Smart office politics tip of the day, make someone you can't stand like you. This works great, especially if no one else likes them, the powers that be will hopefully notice your ability to work with anyone. You run the risk of being asked to work with this person since no one else wants to, but your newfound amicability will then work in your favor as you respectfully decline in order to remain focused in your desire to follow your current project through to completion.

~C

house crazy...

So I haven't even moved in to the new house yet... Hopefully by the end of the long weekend it will be ready for me to move into.... that is, if my doors show up... I can't wait for the guy to call me back so I can act ignorant...

I know I've officially lost my mind.... I was at Home Depot and as I was walking around i passed "tulip bulbs" that you are supposed to plant in the ground before the winter starts and they bloom the following year....

yeah, a nigga bought tulips for his front yard yo... I'm going to plant them shits too... .... and plan to have people over next year right when they bloom just for the moment when that one person says, "Nice tulips!!! Did you plant them yourself??" I can say:

"Well, yes, i planted the bulbs last year in the fall, because as you know you must plant tulips before the ground freezes and allow them to marinate in the ground all winter long, and they just recently began to come up. ... blah blah blah..." I'll get some more info from the internet next year that I'll spout as my own personal horticulturalist knowledge...

I don't even have a proper kitchen yet and I'm worried about what my tulips are going to look like next year... I gotta get some sort of priority system going on here...

~C

Late night salt quantities

i have a penchant for McDonalds' french fries. it's the only thing I ever get from their menu... well occassionally I've purchased one of their salads which actually aren't that bad.

Is it me? or does the late night staff at most fast food establishments smother the food in all the "extra shit" moreso than the normal work day folks? I had a theory come to me last night that there may be a correlation between the economic status of people with their food eating habits which directly results in the late night staff (arguably the least desirable work shift) imposing poor eating habits on their customers. This directly relates to the fact that late at night the fries have LOTS of salt on them, the sandwiches have LOTS of mayonnaise, ketchup, etc...

Since the late night staff could be of a low economic status, with arguably poorer eating habits than their daytime counterparts, this directly results in late night salt quantities being larger than the salt quantities they would normally put on the fries during the day. Poor eating habits in poor communities stretches back to at least the slavery days when we were only allowed to have the most fattening and unwanted portions of the pig to eat and these habits have persisted with us over time and we can't quite seem to shake them.

It reminds of an article I recently read about how a current student decided to do the "black doll test" from the 1950's in 2006 and the results were basically the same. Why is that over 50 years later little black kids would still choose to play with the white doll because it is "good" and refuse to play with the black doll because it is "bad"? How does self-degredation impose itself into children at such a young age??? Likewise, poor eating habits in low economic communities is a problem which directly results in the high rates of cholesterol, diabetes, and heart disease among minority communities...

As many of you know, it is damn expensive to eat healthy!! i tried to do my normal grocery shopping at whole foods / fresh fields (their all the same right?) once and i thought I was going to have to bag groceries for a few weeks to help pay for it all!! Now that I know where the DC farmer's market is, I go and get all my fresh fruit and vegetables there. I haven't tried out the butcher over there yet, but I plan too soon.. It's gotta be the best kept secret in DC. This is where many of the chefs in the city go and get their fresh produce for the day and it is completely open to the public.... better brush up on your spanish before you go though...

um.... and buy the new Amel Larrieux album. it's incredible..

~C

magazine stand locations

Has anyone who lives in DC ever noticed that the english speaking newspapers are located next the entrance of the train stations..

... and the Spanish language newspapers are always located next to bus stops?

Coincidence??

i don't think so..

~C

funeral virgins

I met a 29 year old chic who said she had never been to a funeral before??

Is it just me or is that odd as shit?? Me, being the conclusion jumping prick that I am, assumed that she has never learned how to deal with grief in her life. She's known people who have passed away, but she has just chosen not to go in fear of what it would be like... Now, I think it's sort of a mental obstacle that it is going to be this huge emotional thing, which funerals usually are, but still.

Different people deal with loss differently and you never know how you yourself are really going to act until you are in the moment. Its never the same, but I think what IS the same is no matter who the person is, if they were really close, you always need to hit that point where you have to get it all out. I mean you can hold it in and play it cool for the people, but eventually, it all comes out and there is nothing you can do about it.

When my grandfather passed, I was cool for all of the days leading up to the funeral, throughout the funeral too.. I almost started to feel guilty because I hadn't really got my cry on yet... During the drive to the cemetery, it was the same thing... all the way through the ceremony at the gravesite I was good. As soon as it was over and they started lowering his casket into the ground.... I lost it.

Then there is my Uncle, who at my Aunt's wake, snuck away for a bit because the riverboat casino was within walking distance of the funeral hall. Everyone was wondering where is my uncle??!!! About an hour later, he just rolls up smelling like an ashtray like nothing ever happened. My cousin came in too and just said he needed some fresh air.. saw the casino and decided to pop in and play the slots for a few... but hey, this is how he dealt with grief...

I told her she should just pick one out of the paper and go so she can pop her funeral cherry on someone that she isn't close too, so she can at least do a little hands-on research on what its like you know? I just told her, no matter what, funerals suck and there is no way around it, but in the end, when you can look back at those moments and feel like life shouldn't even go on, you know you made it through those rough times and are okay which makes it easier to go to the next funeral.

My dad cut the preacher off at his father's funeral. As soon as the preacher started going into his message on redemption and how the rest of us need to get saved, he looked at the preacher, was nodding his head and started tapping his watch telling my man to "Wrap it up B!" That's kinda gangsta, but I feel him, he just wanted to get it over with.

~C

BECAUSE IT'S MY BLOG!

... that's why...

Two things...

First,

... notice how no crime was committed and the entire focus of the news has been shifted from Israel's destruction of Lebanon to "radical islamic terrorists" from Pakistan who were planning to blow up innocent americans..

All I'm saying is, be aware, and don't take everything the media feeds us as the most important thing or the only thing going on right now.

Second, with all these new restrictions for what you can and can't carry, they need to just go on ahead and make everyone fly naked, it would just make things so much easier and MAYBE, just maybe, the US would start to look at sex and the beauty of the human body as being such a tabu subject in ways that our European counterparts of gotten over many years ago...

~C

what's up peoples??

So the house is mine and I've been frantically trying to get work done so I can get out of my apartment and into the house before I have to pay rent and a mortgage at the same time....

I've been taking pictures along the way... So I'm preparing for a big mega update soon. I had a demolition party to have all of my friends come and work for free.... only one person showed up.... nice friends huh? And he only showed up because he wants to rent my basement from me...

I haven't even moved in yet and my nephew who is finishing up his probation wants to move in with me too... says he needs to get away from the current environment and I support that...

then he called back and said he wants to bring his girl...

then he called back and said he wants to bring his dog too......

so I'm not even in my house yet and I've already got 3 roommates and a dog planning on moving in with me.....

~C

riding the train..

My good friend had his Audi S4 jacked from his driveway the other day. I know the feeling I had back in Chicago when you go to your car to find your window smashed and all your shit inside rumaged through. The feeling of violation is one that is difficult to describe... sitting in the driver's seat, knowing some stranger was sitting there a few hours prior going through all your shit.

but I can't imagine walking out and just realizing that my car is GONE!! I guess it kinda spares you the feeling of seeing your shit all fucked up and actually having to experience the violation. With the car just gone, you just have memories to rely on. I'm not saying you'd be any less mad, but it might be a little easier to swallow.... well, probably not, if i had an S4...

Well at least he has a sense of humor about the whole thing and his new lifestyle of riding the train in New York. This is a little story I received from him the other day:

~C

-----------------


So i was getting on the 'F' train destined for home after an extremely long day of work. I found a seat, and prepared for my long, boring 1 hr commute home. however, the very next stop my entertainment for the trip home boarded. it made the trip go by in a matter of minutes, as i just kept noticing things about this guy that cracked me up.

I want you to picture isaac hayes minus about 20 years. isaac is wearing a tan mesh cowboy hat. he's wearing silver duane wayne dark glasses without the flip up option, an off white linen shirt with white embroidery down either side of the buttons, and white linen pants. i couldn't see his shoes because a woman who was about 14 months pregant was sitting in between him and me with her belly blocking my view.

before i go on, you should know that there seems to be a bit of a commuter culture on the subway in NYC. the ritual once you get on, is you get settled, wait a few minutes apparently pondering the genre of music you are into, then pull out your mp3 and enjoy the tunes. the other option is that you can pull out whatever book you're into and get to reading. the final option is you let you're head hang and catch whatever uncomfortable z's you can grab.

however, isaac surprised me with his own little twist. he placed the headphones in his ear and then pulled out a CASSETTE PLAYER!!! not just any cassette player, he pulled out a COBY. if memory serves me correctly, i owned 2 or 3 coby's in the 1980's to tie me over in between losing good walkmen. you would get a good 2 weeks out of it before it's appetite for magnetic tape would begin and make meals out of your mc-lyte, troop, and erik b tape recordings.

I didn't know if i should get up and point and laugh, or marvel at this man's engineering skills at keeping this disposable magnetic device operational for so long. being that isaac didn't exactly look the part of master engineer, i figure he must've lost it shortly after buying it and found it 2-3 days ago while unpacking boxes or some shit, but that theory was quickly put to rest, because numbers for the fm tuner were worn off, and the decorative paint schemes were worn down. this recorder had been putting in time.

i remember buying my coby's for about 19.99 at cvs (1988 dollars). with inflation and depreciation, i estimate the worth of this device at $0.73. in fact, the 2 AA batteries to run it cost 5 times more than the damn device. He must've supercharged the amp in that thing or somethin, 'cause this cat was bobbin his head off, i thought he was gonna sprain something! you gotta admire this guy's "'i don\t give a fuck attitude" because the whole time he had is coby cassette player in his hand proudly displaying the brand name, he could have easily put it in his pocket, but hell no...... not isaac.

i was gonna ask him what he was listening to, but you never know what people are carrying under thier shirt on the nyc subway. i was sure this dude was listening to some shit at half speed or something, then it happened. i realized it was an original coby when this cat pushed eject and flipped the tape over...... no autoreverse!!! that's just like the coby's i've owned. if you wanted autoreverse you had to at least purchase a jvc. coby new it's place, they new their niche. no frills music playing until you get the shit you really want. then 5 minutes later, the coby showed its age. i did notice that isaacs love for the dubbed tape (memorex green label) waned once he flipped to the other side. but after those five minutes, isaac flipped the tape again!! the side wasn't done, this cat don't have no reverse!! sure enough, on the re-flip isaac's head starts bobbin like a transvestite prostitute at a rest stop!

at this point, i can't handle the comedy any longer, i glance down at his bag and actually laugh out loud. his bag reads, "Smart Choice: cutting edge technology, improving your business". it looked like one of those free promotional tote bags, but even so, i doubt smart choice lived up to thier name giving this cat the ability to promote thier product.

then at roosevelt avenue the show ends, but not before (as if he was reading my mind) he pauses at the double doors of the subway train

.......and does a spin in place, i kid you not.

with that last burst of fancy footwork i did finally notice his shoes, black fake alligator skin. i was hopiing for some pink felt or some shit. oh well, how much comedy can one man stand in one sitting anyway.

an absolutely true story. when i was watching it, i was like, yo, i gotta tell curt this shit. aight man, i'm out.

the one lone confession

Y'all were slacking this year on sending me confessions. Last year, you all really dropped some deep confessions on me to share to the world... I was truly touched. But this year, either y'all solved all your problems, don't read the blog anymore or just said "fu*k that shit" this year.

In any case, you all are lucky as I received one lone confession that trumped all others and warrants its own special mention. Here is a man who is pouring his soul out for all of the world to see how much he loves his wife...... so beautiful .....

{{{{ insert dramatic pause here}}}]

I have to laugh though. If this was a complete stranger, I wouldn't laugh, I'd have some sympathy for him, but y'all should know this is my guy. I've known him for a long time and I'm not being evil by laughing at him, its just, if the tables were turned, he'd be laughing at my ass!!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not clowning my man because he truly poured his heart and soul into this, but I just don't get it yet. I WANT TOO, trust me I want to, and there have been women in my life that I have really tried to take this step with and never has worked out... sometimes I fuck up, sometimes they fuck up, sometimes my fuck-ups are too much for them to overcome, and sometimes their fuck-ups are too big for me to overcome, but I've tried to be where this man is.

But since I'm not, I have the pleasure of being able to laugh at dudes that are completely sprung on their woman. It cracks me up to hear men talk about how much they love doing jigsaw puzzles with their girl. I know, ladies, y'all think this is beautiful, I think its funny. Not funny in a "Chappelle joke" kinda way, but in more of a "slipped on a banana peel" sorta way... you know where you look up once you realized what happened and everyone is standing around you staring at you.... and all you can do is laugh with them because you're not sure how you ended up on the ground with jigsaw puzzle pieces in your hand, but you're there and you smile and embrace it.

I hope you all will be able to laugh at me like this one day. But until that day comes, we'll laugh at this guy:

~C

------------

here it goes

i confess that i REALLY like being married. i thought as a long time player (if i do say so myself), that marriage would cramp my style, or not be suited to me, but the truth turns out to be quite the contrary. i used to look at married guys and watch them following thier mates, or obeying some instruction put forth by the significant other and i would be glad i wasn't in thier shoes. i mean why would i wanna be them, i had it all, right?

i had beautiful women calling me, 50% of which i had sex with and enjoying the pursuit of the next 50%. every once in awhile there would be some blow up argument to tell my boys about, or maybe i came across some new sexual experience. you just NEVER knew what the next weekend would bring, the only thing you did know was that it would be different from the last.

until i met the one. now, some people know right away that it is the one, which is great. all i knew was that this was different in a way i couldn't describe. the feeling was different. it was a cocktail of love, respect, fun, sex (the cock and the tail), and friendship. of course, i can describe it now. being in the midst of ass and prospects of more, all i knew was that this wasn't the same as that puerto rican girl i slept with after a long night of drinking in the basement of the club. i didn't sleep with her that night, and i actually wanted to hang out with her to have fun and do something, not just to win her over so we can have sex.

maybe once or twice before i've felt like hanging out with the opposite sex for fun, but never lasted more than a month. as the months turned to years, i think the prospect of marriage pops up on its own accord without much prompting from either party involved. alhtough i had been faithful, the terror of the possibility of not getting different ass when you might want to is a scary thought. scary as shit!

many people react in many different ways by lashing out through resentment, cheating, breaking up, becoming introverted, becoming overly extroverted, hanging with the fellas, or surrounding yourself with women, amongst others. i am not so proud to say that i did do a few of the above listed, but it was done out of ignorance. ignorance, because the true root of all these actions and feelings is fear. fear of change. fear of a paradigm shift of your life as you've been living it up to this point. i mean, how could a brotha who loved every nuance of a new piece of ass, spend the next 60 years with the same one?? i don't care how good your favorite flavor of kool aid is, you can't make that your only beverage for the rest of your life, and think about how many "favorite" beers you've had in the past 5 years, c'mon.

then it happened. the day came and went mostly cheer and anticipation, but also a small shadow of doubt. can i REALLY do this?

Absolutely. i garden with my wife, we play jigsaw puzzles (that's right, jigsaw puzzles, dammit!!!), we have fun. we go out, though not as much as we did while we dated, and we make lifelong plans together. the love is completely different from when i was dating. i look back and see how dumb i was to criticize all those guys in the stores and obeying thier woman, because that is only one aspect of the relationship. i never asked the question, WHY is this grown man following this woman around like that? obviously, he is of sound mind, therefore there must be something worth the grotesque display. There definitely is.

when you find the right one, there is something that marriage does to the relationship. it jumpstarts the feelings involved, it heightens love, makes you more anxious about losing them, you spend more time thinking about them. thier welfare is now your welfare and it touches every facet of life. everyday my love grows exponentially, to a point now that without her by my side i could not and would not go on without her.

from player, to spectator. and i wouldn't have it any other way

sometimes, you just can't care.

Some people have the luxury of being able to be themselves no matter what the situation. They can do and say whatever it is they would normally do no matter who or what is around them.

Now I must say that these people who are convinced that they are themselves all of the time, I think you're full of shit and that whether you want to admit or not, you are never completely your true self ALL of the time.. that's bullshit... because I know behind closed doors you probably take it in the ass. But I bet you aren't going to be so forward and open about THAT all the time are you? Ok, maybe that's different, but still...

I make no qualms about being a different person in different situations. I think it has come natural from a very early age. I was the only black kid in the "smart" classes, but then I'd hang with the black kids in the school. So I learned pretty quickly that I couldn't behave in class the way they told me they behaved in class (spitballs, etc...) This has created a situation where without even thinking about it, I'm very easily able to switch between environments pretty easily, whether it be in a meeting with a client, at a dinner party with the girl's boss, or slammin dominoes with my homies back in Springpatch.

But SOMETIMES, you just have to let all that go and just be yourself and not give a damn about the situation. Most of the switching comes from the desire / ability to make others feel comfortable around you moreso than any deep willingness to be something else I believe. The last thing anyone wants to feel is uncomfortable around you, then they won't want to work with you, eat lunch with you, have sex with you, play golf with you, etc...

Every once in a while you have to throw those people off, just to let them know that they don't REALLY know you completely. This is important for a couple of reasons, mainly because you don't want people to get so comfortable they start assuming that you are like them. Either that or they'll start calling you "bro".... "what's up bro?!" or even worse, they're a big Dave Chappelle fan and if they're ignorant, they might even try to drop a N-bomb on you, but most people have more sense than that.

So in my efforts just to let my co-workers know that I'm not everything I seem to be I warmed up some leftover fried chicken and collard greens in the microwave about 10:30am yesterday. It had the whole top floor of the office smelling like a cornicopius blend of grease and ass. ...broke out the hot sauce at my desk too just to REALLY let folks know my roots run deep into the backroads of Mississippi.

Hey I was hungry, I had to do it, but it served it's purpose too.

~C

I'm back safely.

Finally made it back to the states safe and sound. Thanks so much for your prayers and support while I was stranded (both of you).

I'll give a nice long rundown when I get over my jetlag...

~C

Stranded in Cameroon

i hope you all realize that when i dont write a chronicle for a while there really is a valid reason. i enjoy writing them as much as all 4 of you enjoy reading them, and my latest hiatus is no exception. im typing on a french keyboard so forgive all of the typing mistakes.

well basically, im stranded in Cameroon.

i was sent to Africa for work at the last minute and have been here for about a week and have many many (okay maye two) great chronicles to write about this experience, but this one just could not wait...

my flight from Gabon left 2 hours late and by the time i arrived in Cameroon i only had 30 minutes to catch my connecting flight. in an effort to help, the Cameroon authorities rushed us through customs without stamping our passports.

when we got out to the ticket window, it was closed since we arrived 20 minutes before the plane was to take off. so i was stuck with no ticket, and no visa to be in the country. basicalyl screwed and unable to get back on a flight if i wanted to. i eventually hooked up with this guy from scotland who spoke english and we managed to eventually get our visa stamps at half past midnight.

we then found a decent hotel to stay in for the night and went to the air france office this morning. so tentatively i am leaving on a flight at 11pm tonight which will put me into dulles on Sunday afternoon. Since Cameroon does not seem like a place to be wandering the streets all day, i had to get the hotel room for a second night to have a place to stay until i go to the airport this evening. i hope the boss doesnt trip when i send her the bill.

if i am not able to get on the flight to Paris this evening, i may be here until Monday night as ive been told the air france flight does not leave on Sunday. this would put me back into the states on tuesday. the other option is to try to get a ticket on the other flight that flies through brussels one way home which will cost me about 2500. I will keep you informed of what happens... hopefully ill get on the flight tonight.

but yeah... basically im stuck right now.

Stranded in Cameroon,

Curtis

What do ghosts smell like??

Humor me for just a second...

I'm sitting at my computer checking my email, waiting for your confessions (since I haven't received any!!), when all of a sudden, I smell hot chocolate.

Like DISTINCTIVELY could smell it, you know the smell of all those particles that waft into your face right when you pour the instant powder into a mug?? THAT is what I smelled.. It was so distinctive that I had to look around and wonder if someone slipped some hot chocolate into my monitor or something!!!

It lingered for like a minute and a half or so, then it was gone... my windows were closed, my air conditioning was on, and I didn't have any incense burning or even in the room... weird shit... I'm wondering if a ghost just came from Ghiradelli or something and was passing through??? I don't get it.

Which reminds me of a quote I once heard... I can't remember by who at this moment, but when this man was asked what he fears most about death he replied, "definitely the ghosts."
when pushed to elaborate he said, "I'd hate to have to face my grandmother now that she knows how much I masturbate."

~C

hey hey, it's confession time again!!

If you recall, once a year I ask you to send me your confessions, and I will publish them anonymously for the world to see...

Here you can check out last year's confessions...

I think it's good to get things off your chest sometimes. It just makes things more clear when you put it out there to the world....

let it out... BE FREEEEEE!!!

send your confessions to..... cinnamon.stick@gmail.com and I'll print them in a week or so...

~C

I think I fell in love...

MMMAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!! I saw Lizz Wright in concert a week or so ago and I have been thinking about her ever since..

Her voice just reached out and not only touched my soul, but grabbed its neck and shook the fu*k out of it!! I mean, her voice is just so soothing and sexy and .......... at one point in the show, I just had my eyes closed with a big ass grin on my face and I looked up and the waiter had been standing there trying to hand my my Jack & Coke and I was just frozen, in rapture with this woman's voice!!

I've been playing the first CD non-stop every since and I see no signs of me turning it off in my house... WWWOOOOOOOO!!! I'm telling y'all man, I don't know if she's married or what, but after being in her presence, she DEFINITELY is worth of TITBS.

TITBS is a very high honor not handed out lightly, usually one has to make a deep impression on a man over a period of MONTHS to receive TITBS. But Lizz did it to me in like 15 minutes man, that definitely sets a new record for me. I think I've only elevated like 5 chicks in my whole life to TITBS and that decision is always done with great care and caution. It HAS to be, because you KNOW she's going to go and tell her girls about that shit, so you have to make sure you REALLY like her before you take it to that level.

So go out pick up the new CD from the new love of my life.

~C

(ps- TITBS = Tongue In The Booty Status)

Flowers for no reason

Lillies 2, originally uploaded by cinnamon.stick.

I sent my momma flowers for no reason last week. I sent them to her office too so she can be the envy of all the other women she works with.

As much as I come off as an asshole from time to time, I'm really a sweet guy with a soft spot for my momma. So I sent her so many Asiatic Lillies that it took two vases to hold them all. She loves me again....

.... okay, actually, I didn't send her anything on mother's day. So when father's day came around, I had to take care of my mother too... I got my dad movie tickets, when you're a dad, I guess you get no love.... My gift basically says to him, "here, take these movie tickets and use them to take out my mother." I didn't really MEAN to take away the glamour of father's day and give my mother more shine then him, but it just sorta worked out that way.

sorry dad.

~C

House buying update #3

Well, the deal obviously ain't done yet.... Trust me, y'all would be the second to know (behind my momma).

So there had been a fire in the garage and it was missing it's roof. I knew this, and just planned on it being one of the things that I would try to get fixed right away.. See, I'm getting a house in a "decent" neighborhood below market value. There ain't anything really WRONG with the house, (besides the crackheads), it's just real old... so I jumped at the opportunity and figured it would just take a lot of sweat equity to bring it up to value... I didn't mind doing this.

Well apparently, after the fire in the garage, at some point the city has deemed the garage "condemned" and it shows up as part of the title.. What I've learned in this process is that it is very important to have a clean title. A "condemned garage" is not a clean title.. as a matter of fact, it turns out that not only will my lender not give me the money on the house, (which is kinda necessary for me to buy it), but also I can't get home insurance with the garage the way it is, so I wouldn't have received the loan anyway.

So no house yet.... I'll let you know when I know something...

~C