hey hey, it's confession time again!!

If you recall, once a year I ask you to send me your confessions, and I will publish them anonymously for the world to see...

Here you can check out last year's confessions...

I think it's good to get things off your chest sometimes. It just makes things more clear when you put it out there to the world....

let it out... BE FREEEEEE!!!

send your confessions to..... cinnamon.stick@gmail.com and I'll print them in a week or so...

~C

I think I fell in love...

MMMAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!! I saw Lizz Wright in concert a week or so ago and I have been thinking about her ever since..

Her voice just reached out and not only touched my soul, but grabbed its neck and shook the fu*k out of it!! I mean, her voice is just so soothing and sexy and .......... at one point in the show, I just had my eyes closed with a big ass grin on my face and I looked up and the waiter had been standing there trying to hand my my Jack & Coke and I was just frozen, in rapture with this woman's voice!!

I've been playing the first CD non-stop every since and I see no signs of me turning it off in my house... WWWOOOOOOOO!!! I'm telling y'all man, I don't know if she's married or what, but after being in her presence, she DEFINITELY is worth of TITBS.

TITBS is a very high honor not handed out lightly, usually one has to make a deep impression on a man over a period of MONTHS to receive TITBS. But Lizz did it to me in like 15 minutes man, that definitely sets a new record for me. I think I've only elevated like 5 chicks in my whole life to TITBS and that decision is always done with great care and caution. It HAS to be, because you KNOW she's going to go and tell her girls about that shit, so you have to make sure you REALLY like her before you take it to that level.

So go out pick up the new CD from the new love of my life.

~C

(ps- TITBS = Tongue In The Booty Status)

Flowers for no reason

Lillies 2, originally uploaded by cinnamon.stick.

I sent my momma flowers for no reason last week. I sent them to her office too so she can be the envy of all the other women she works with.

As much as I come off as an asshole from time to time, I'm really a sweet guy with a soft spot for my momma. So I sent her so many Asiatic Lillies that it took two vases to hold them all. She loves me again....

.... okay, actually, I didn't send her anything on mother's day. So when father's day came around, I had to take care of my mother too... I got my dad movie tickets, when you're a dad, I guess you get no love.... My gift basically says to him, "here, take these movie tickets and use them to take out my mother." I didn't really MEAN to take away the glamour of father's day and give my mother more shine then him, but it just sorta worked out that way.

sorry dad.

~C

House buying update #3

Well, the deal obviously ain't done yet.... Trust me, y'all would be the second to know (behind my momma).

So there had been a fire in the garage and it was missing it's roof. I knew this, and just planned on it being one of the things that I would try to get fixed right away.. See, I'm getting a house in a "decent" neighborhood below market value. There ain't anything really WRONG with the house, (besides the crackheads), it's just real old... so I jumped at the opportunity and figured it would just take a lot of sweat equity to bring it up to value... I didn't mind doing this.

Well apparently, after the fire in the garage, at some point the city has deemed the garage "condemned" and it shows up as part of the title.. What I've learned in this process is that it is very important to have a clean title. A "condemned garage" is not a clean title.. as a matter of fact, it turns out that not only will my lender not give me the money on the house, (which is kinda necessary for me to buy it), but also I can't get home insurance with the garage the way it is, so I wouldn't have received the loan anyway.

So no house yet.... I'll let you know when I know something...

~C

Travelling on the company's dime

I'm thinking there isn't much quite nicer than travelling to foreign lands with someone else paying for it.

Granted, I'm a single guy with no obligations to anyone / anything except for myself, so it makes it real easy for them to send me halfway around the world at the drop of a hat. I don't mind. My biggest problem is going to be boarding my bird for a week... She'll hate me when I get back... :(

You know it's bad when you have to look up on a map the location of where you're going. I hadn't even heard of this country before!! But of course, when I speak about it, I play it cool like I knew all along... dropping facts that I just learned, etc... "Oh yeah, well it was colonized by the French in the late 1800's... blah blah blah..." I wonder sometimes if people can see through me when I'm clearly bullshitting... The trick to being a good bullshitter is to actually believe what you're saying... well, that's the way I play it most of the time..

My only request, if I'm going to be on planes for over 20 hours is to put me in business class. I'll be damned if I'm flying half way around the world in coach... fu*k that. Plus I'll get to hang out in the airport lounges and act like I belong, talk to strangers who are also acting like they travel business class all the time.... I should practice a real loud and hearty laugh that doesn't sound condesending.... "Business Class for dummies" told me I have to have one of those obnoxious laughs if I'm going to blend in like I belong. Actually I'm just looking forward to the free likka on the plane.

And THANK THE LORD for whoever figured out how much per diem (food money) you should get when you travel. My weekly budget for food is equal to one day of my Per Diem, so I'm going to try to hit a record store or something. I wonder if they'd cut me my per diem check before I left???? Per Diem is such a cool word to say... just kinda rolls off the tongue... You know you've made it at your office when you're talking about per diem and stuff... I used to hear bosses at my old firm talk about per diem and I didn't know what the hell it was. But now I think I do...

Per diem means "strip club money". Unless I'm eating like a king at EVERY MEAL or just HAVE to eat at the finest restaurants all the time, I find it hard to believe that I could spend $70 a day on food every day. So there is no other explanation other than some old white guy that has roman numerals at the end of his name figured out a way for the company to pay for his trips to the titty bars.

So Mr. Unamed White Guy with Roman Numerals After Your Name, I salute you.

~C

Tabaq Tuesdays Launch Party

Tabaq1a, originally uploaded by cinnamon.stick.

If any of you are in DC for the 4th of July weekend, I'll be DJing at Tabaq (1336 U Street) from 9 until 1am or so.

This will be the official kick off party for my Tuesday night residency. There is no cover charge, but you gotta wear your good shoes. They say "proper attire required", but they don't really enforce it on Tuesdays.

I'm also DJing an all Prince party at Chief Ikes on Sunday, July 2. So hopefully some of you can make it through to one of these next weekend.

~C

It must be summer

I guess it's summer here it is getting warmer and warmer, the nights nicer and nicer and the womens are getting crazier and crazier.

Take for example the following conversation I had with a friend of mine the other day who called and said:

"Yo dawg, these hoes are crazy!! What's going on in the world?

me: Why? what happened?

"check this shit out. I was banging this 40 year old chick that has the body of a 16 year old the other day and..."

me: Wait, what did you just say?

"okay, I met this sexy chic who I knew was tiny, but when she took her clothes off it tripped me out for a second cause she was MUCH MORE TINY than I thought she was going to be... I don't even know if ole girl weighed a benjamin." ($100)

me: So you're a pedophile now?

"NAW MAN!! I told you she was 40!! I don't know how old she is EXACTLY but she was married for a while, been divoriced for a while and has her Ph.D. so I'm guessing 40, but that's not the point of the story!"

me: okay, what's the point?

"So, I was hitting it and when I finally .. you know... well, the condom came off and I didn't even know it."

me: damn, so you got a 40 going on 16 year old chick pregnant?

"NAW MAN!!! THAT'S THE CRAZY PART OF THE STORY!!"

me: I don't get it

"She called up her gynie and picked up Plan B!! You know, that morning after pill they were talking about on 60 minutes this week?"

me: ahh, gotcha... well that was nice of her.

"So check THIS shit out, she just called me and said since we have a 72 hour window I should come over so we can take advantage..................."

me: what?

"yeah man, basically she's like come on over and lets do it raw dawg. These hoes are crazy in the '06 man....

me: It's not often you get solicited to come over and have unprotected sex with a 99% chance you won't get her pregnant... so what are you going to do?

"I'm on my way over there right now!"

me: I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing... good luck..

So it was refreshing to find out that it's not just me that has crazy things going on around them. My realtor who is a scientologist has these extremely positive vibes, but then she tripped out and cussed out my mortgage broker the other day. It was good to see she's got that in her. But witnessing her extreme mood swings now makes me not want to smash her thick ass anymore.. that's probably a good thing though, I have a pretty good record about not mixing work and pleasure.... okay, maybe I don't, but I like to trick myself into thinking ti do..

Is anyone else having some different than normal mental issues right now??? I don't know if it's this whole house buying thing or what? Maybe it's the large amount of time alone I've had.. I would think I'd have more time to relax, but it feels as if my mind has been working overtime lately..

I'm in this little period where I have taken so many 'mental' screenshots, promising myself I wouldn't delete them and finally, when possible, materialize them. Is this possible? ...to return to places and take the same pic you would have loved to take some months ago?

If I start writing a blog on paper (due to not being around a computer or being in a park, etc...), I know for sure it will never end up here. It is impossible to copy it on the screen. doesn't 'taste' the same. I believe more and more that life is an accident, or the result of circumstances. good ones or bad ones.

Who was it that said "since the moment you are born you are nothing but a sum of influences."?

Can you choose your influences? I have all of these deadlines with the house, the job, the personal development and they are all 'meeting', coming together. I guess it is the same everywhere with everyone, but I seem to all of sudden be very aware of what's going on around me. It is actually quite nice.

I have to go, my bed needs me.

~C

Home buying headaches

So I guess I DON'T have the house yet... Now I realize, you can agree on everything you want with someone, but without the bank's money, the deal is no good.

Problem #1: the appraisal came in lower than the purchase price and lists a number of things that are wrong with the house. My lender won't loan the money on the house without seeing these things get fixed....... SSSOOOO, I'm in a holding pattern, where the seller is mad that the appraisal came in low because now he has to lower his selling price to the appraisal amount (or I guess he could walk away from the deal).

Problem #2: so who is going to take care of all the things that need to get fixed?? The seller doesn't want to do it, I planned on doing it, but won't spend the money to get it fixed BEFORE I even own the house??? but SOMEONE has to fix it, or the lender ain't giving Curtis no money to buy it. Sure I could find a sub-par lender that would loan me money on the house, but I'm doing a full doc loan with an A-list lender to ensure it gets serviced properly and to help me get a better rate. Thus, their requirements for who they loan money to are a little more strict than most lenders.

I was going to post a few pics, but now I feel like I should just hold off, I don't want to get my (and your) hopes up for a house that I may never set foot in again...

On a GOOD note, if I do get the house....... THE TOILET FLUSHED!!!! WOO-HOO!!!! So we had the water turned on so that I could have the last part of the home inspection complted (testing the water pressure) and my lesbian home inspector gave me a disclaimer before (s)he went to flush the toilet that if it flooded and Wayne's shit went all over the place it was going to be all on me. (no pun intended) Luckily it flushed okay, so I now know (if I buy the house) if I happened to go out of town for a week and let someone stay in my crib while I was gone, if that someone would happen to shit in my toilet for an entire week without flushing it when I got home, the toilet would flush without incident..

... this is the sort of thing you can't normally test for except under the extreme circumstances of purchasing a crack house. My house will be the most durable house on the block!! So cross your fingers and pray everything works out because I really like this house, but if it doesn't, I'm sure I'll find something else..

~C

okay, here is one pic for you below.... this is the main stair case at the entry... all the millwork seems to be original and in great shape.. all of the openings in the house have the wood trim as you see in the foreground... but many of the walls also have the yellow, cigarette stained, painted, wood-panelling which I would tear down within the first 5 minutes of owning the house.

Main staircase at new house

IMG_0005, originally uploaded by cinnamon.stick.

Crackhead Urine is some potent shit

Let me start the story with my 15 year old lesbian home inspector....

After a few back and forths with the seller about the contract, we came up with a contract we'd both sign. First thing I had to do was schedule the home inspection. My realtor said she knows a good home inspector and since I don't, I figured, what the hell.

So I roll up to the house to find what looked like a 15 year old boy in a baseball cap up on the roof of my future house. She introduces her self as my home inspector and I have to admit, as much as we all hate to say that we create first impressions based on looks, I know I totally did. She turned out to be real, real dope though. It was a very thorough inspection and she knew her shit. Now, her assistants, some brotha with Fubu on was a different story.

Since I had signed the contract, even though I hadn't closed yet, the house is going to be mine, so I made the executive decision that Wayne (the homeless guy living in the house) had to go. On my way to the home inspection I stopped by the Home Depot to pick up some 2x4's big long nails, etc... because I was going to make sure Wayne couldn't get in after I left the house.

I was PISSED because Wayne had been pissing in a bucket at the back entrance to the house (MF had it almost halfway full!!). Not only was I surprised that he had damn near filled up a painter's bucket in a few days, but his piss damn near looked like Fanta Orange. It had this glow to it that I had never seen in piss before. So I started to feel sorry for Wayne, thinking to myself Wayne is obviously not very healthy, so I took Wayne's stuff and placed it neatly in a stack outside behind the garage where passerby's couldn't see it and mess with it.

Wayne had an old radio, some little toys (the free ones from McDonalds), old couch cushions were his makeshift bed, and a jacket. As I'm putting his stuff out the back, the neighbor next door comes outside to chat. Real cool guy, comes by and cuts the grass for his sister, said he would cut mine too which was really nice. So when he asks me if there is anything else I can do, I say, "Yeah, make sure Wayne doesn't try to break in the house tonight!" to which he replys:

"awww, man, those crackheads just need a place to smoke their shit and sleep for the night. They ain't gonna harm nothin'."

..............

At that moment, it dawned on me... despite all of the nice original millwork, period details on the stairs, wood floors that were in good shape, and the potential to be a really nice home, at that moment, all I could think was... I just bought a crackhouse......... son-uv-a-bitch.

So I go back inside, up the stairs where I'm met with an AWFUL, AWFUL stench, I couldn't figure out where it was coming from! I'm walking around in the bathroom and can't figure it out... then I lift up the toilet........

THAT NIGGA WAYNE HAD BEEN SHITTING IN MY TOILET!!!!! and since the water isn't on yet.................. he had filled the mfer to the brim.

NOW, I was mad. and all that niceness and pity that I had for Wayne had gone completely out of the window. We go downstairs to the basement and the GOTDAMN WASHING MACHINE WAS GONE!!! I thought the only reason this fool was in there was to GUARD THE MFing APPLIANCES!!! Well he didn't do a good job at that shit!!!

So just as I'm at the peak of being heated.............. Wayne rolls up to the house....

"hey man!"
"NAH MOTHER FU*KER, TIME IS UP WAYNE!! YOU GOTTA GO!"
"well can I get my stuff?"
"IT'S OUT BACK!"
"okay, okay, you ain't gotta be rude?!"
"WELL YOU AIN'T GOTTA PISS AND SHIT ALL OVER THE HOUSE EITHER!!"

... sensing my anger, my realtor pulls me aside and said she'd deal with Wayne. He had a few things stashed under the sink and the realtor got those for him, but I didn't want to see him no more.

......... which brings me to the title of the story...

As I'm continuing to clear the mess out of the house, I grab and dump the painter's bucket full of piss as well as a 2-liter soda bottle that was about 3/4 full of piss, take them down the street and dump them in the sewer.

Two days later, I shit you not, the skin on my fingers starts drying up, then bubbling up and now it's peeling all off my hands. So I holla at my boy's wife who is a dermatologist, describe my symptoms and as soon as I told her I picked up a bucket of his urine and dumped it she's like, "yeah, definitely scabies. It lives in urine." to which my friend ads on, "yeah, every homeless person in DC has it."

THAT SON- UV - A - BITCH!!

Man, it's good to have a close friend who is a doctor. I got the prescription filled 10 minutes later and had to cover my entire body in this lotion and let it sit overnight. I was freaking out since I masterbated last night, but my man seems to be doing okay. Good thing it doesn't take me more than 5 minutes to handle my business. (hey, don't trip, I KNOW myself....)

I'm feeling better today and the symptoms seem to have disappeared and it's been a little over 8 hours since I took the lotion off....

So yeah, the lesson for the day today kiddes: stay far, far away from crackhead piss or risk having your skin look like a shedding snake.

~C