mumblings 4.7.3

I know I haven't written in a while.. I'm busy... dammit!



A while back I had asked people to ask me something so I could have

something to talk about.  All I had was war talk on my mind, but I really

don't want to talk about the war just yet.  I did get one question that is

worth mentioning though:



"Okay...just curious about something. I was watching an episode of Seinfeld

where George went for a swim and came out with "shrinkage". He said it was

the cold water? My question is...how much shrinkage is going on? Is it just

the main head or the entire package getting shrunk. I figured I'd ask you

because you'd give me an honest answer. thanks "

I requested clarification and asked if she could define "main head" for me:

"This is why I should refrain from typing when I'm tired...I'm talking about

the shaft and the head OKAY! Now does the shrinkage affect just those guys

or the 2 boys as well??? Can't you just answer the damn question (geez) (and

stop laughing).

and GO TO HELL....

I don't like to be laughed at when I make a mistake  You're mean."



I still haven't responded.  I'm not really quite sure how to answer.  I've

never quite examined myself shortly after exiting a pool, I'm usually more

preoccupied with eliminating the suction that occurs between the swim trunks

and your 'package' which would only expose the shrinkage.  The only reason

why this is such a pressing thing to address is that you don't want to give

anyone the impression that may catch a peek that you're always that size. 

Quite honestly, I'd be happy if lovely young lady was looking in that

general direction at all, so it wouldn't really matter.



So I was making a CD for myself to get me in the Spring mood last night, you

know something all nice and warm-like.  Then when I woke up this morning

there was 4 inches of snow on the ground.



My first attempt was all kinds of smooth and chilled out on a jazzy tip, but

the Tresvant-volume was way too high so I had to start over.  I figured a

good way to harden it up a bit would be to throw a mellow dancehall number

in there and maybe a house track or two.  But in the process I had a moment

of insight and am bothered by the fact that all reggae can be split into

three categories: 1. Praising the almighty, most holy, king of kings, lord

of lords, JAH!!!!! Rastafari (with a little reverb on the end)  2. Smoking

spliffs and 3. Hating on homosexuals.  I'm thinking there is some sort of

male identity crisis for the latter 1/3.  Just an observation.



Have you ever just freaked out and did some shit you know you had no

business doing but it felt so good that you didn't regret it later?



I went out and dropped $40 on four 2" thick bacon-wrapped filet mignons over

the weekend, then cooked them on my George Foreman grill.  It's not like I

had some sort of high intensity steak cooking oven as recommended in the

directions, but they were fucking delicious anyway.



I hate it when directions do that shit.  That's why I never open my

cookbooks at home.  I always find some sort of cool cookbook in the sale bin

that I'll purchase, but I never use them because I'm always missing one

ingredient.  No matter what it is that I look up to cook.  I'm missing

something.  The thing that makes it worse is that at one point, you know you

had everything required to make the dish, but now that you've decided to

make something, you're missing something.



I went to go make the marinade for my steaks and it required fresh garlic

and rosemary among other things.  Now I usually have garlic and I've been

using the same little 3 oz container of dried rosemary for like the past 4

years.  At some point in the last three months I ran out of rosemary, but it

has never occurred to me to throw rosemary on my grocery list, so it always

gets overlooked.



My grocery list is simple.



fruit

meat

pasta

vegetables

breakfast food



... what I come home with depends upon what is on sale when I get to the

grocery store.  From here the rest is pretty standard: milk, cheese, butter,

toilet paper, etc...



I saw the craziest today.  I was walking around the corner approaching the

elevator and I caught this client farting.  He thought no one else was

around and it's not like I heard it or anything, but I just kinda saw him

lean into it ya know?  Like he needed to give him self some leverage on that

left foot to assist in the release.  He just looked at me and smiled like he

didn't do anything.  Nawwwww MF.  I just saw you lean into your fart man. 

Could you imagine if I would've asked him, "Excuse me sir, did you just lean

into your fart?"  He probably wouldn't have liked that too much.



I've had it with the war talk.  You can't get away from it.  The newest

phenomenon that I've noticed is that since there isn't anything new,

interesting or 'exciting' to talk about the networks are all operating on

some psychological type shit to make you stay tuned to their network.  It

works like this:



Everyone has their 'experts' talking, but since if they just showed the

expert talking, you'd flip the channel because at this point, everyone knows

you don't give a shit what Jill from the Institute of Childhood development

disorders has to say about the effects war on television has on children. 

So they do this split screen thing where they show you the person talking

(always on the left) and then they show you some US soldiers kicking in

doors or something exciting in the other window. 



But the action screen

inevitably always has absolutely nothing to do with what the person in the

other screen is talking about.  Now you throw in the stock market ticker

thingy at the bottom and all of a sudden there is a screen full of shit

going on!!  Someone's talking on the left, someone's kicking down doors on

the right, we're finding out about other shit on the bottome of the

screen... now all of a sudden we have a reason to stay on the channel, but

really when you break it down, ain't shit else going on that wasn't going on

last week.



-c



CD of the moment: Danny Krivit - "Expansions"