Ringtones

I hate Nextel and this "chirp chirp" shit with a passion man.

They seriously need to make these fools take a mandatory cell phone etiquette course before you can purchase a cell phone. People's cell phones go off EVERYWHERE mayne???

And how come all the brothas from the hood and big booty gangsta chics all have Reggaeton ringtones on volume 20!!!

... got gasolina ringtones

...and whenever they press a button, it sounds like chacletas and shit...

THEN have the nerve to look at me crazy because I'm shooting you the "ignorant eye". IT'S CUZ YOU IGNORANT MAYNE!!!! GASOLINA RINGTONES ON VOLUME 20 WHILE RIDING THE TRAIN IS SOME IGNORANT SHIT!!

and you KNOW it don't take nobody 4 rings to answer their cell phone... Ain't nobody's cell phone THAT far away from them that I should hear the verse, chorus, and bridge of the damn song...

... then we wonder whY folks stereotype us. It's because we are loud.. we are loud all the time for no damn reason. OR maybe it's not that we're loud, but everyone else is quiet, and we just don't give a fuck.... which is a whole other problem I suppose...

and.. we're slow... I'm always caught behind my people walking on the sidewalk, on the trains, getting out the doors, up escalators, in line at Chipotle... we are always slow... ain't never in a hurry to get back to work... that's for damn sure....

It's so bad, I don't get in line behind black people anymore. Nowhere.

If I see black people in line, or a black cashier, I go to a different line. because my people are slow... I love them to death, but we have two speeds... SLOW and SLOWER... and I don't know what to do with that...

NO MORE REGGAETON RINGTONES!!

~c

Extra Credit

So how come it's the people that are lazy all semester, sleeping throughout class and shit are the FIRST MF's to be all gung ho about some extra credit.

I'm thinking to myself, " Self, THIS MFer didn't do the REGULAR work!!! what in the hell makes me think you're going to some EXTRA work??!!" Actually, I can tell you right now, extra credit is a farce. Some MFer that slept all semester and barely showed up half the time, wrote half-ass effort papers and is obviously going to get a C in the class THINKS he can do the extra credit and magically turn that C into a B. shit ain't happenin' playa.....

Let me tell you who extra credit is for. Extra credit is ONLY for those folks that are JUST BARELY on the border of a grade... A/B or B/C. If youre grade for the semester is a D or a C, you most likely didn't work too hard throughout the semester and just barely did what you had to do to float by, ain't no way the extra credit is going to bring you up a grade.

The good part is, the extra credit is some real hard shit. It's interesting shit, and the sad part is that the people who don't need it are the ones who are going to go all out of their way to do it. The ones who need it the most, are going to copy it from the ones who made all the effort to do it.... slackers....

I've quickly become that professor who doesn't give a damn about those who don't want to learn. Ive decided that you can only teach those who want to learn. For example, I gave a pop quiz the other day and left the room for a second, when I came back in the room, saw two of those slackers in the back cheating... didn't fail them, but called them out and said,

"Y'all two cheating off each other is like the blind leading the blind!" and let them cheat. Now there is this other dude who has a smart ass girlfriend he's been riding all semester and I was on him like a hawk!!! But he really has the potential to be pretty good. Poor kid needs a fashion consultant (brotha wore a lime green suit to a professional function), but he's from the Carribbean so I forgive him. But he's a perfect example. His girl is an A student who will go do the extra credit... because she wants to learn... he'll copy hers and reap the benefits of her knowledge...

That's why the more I do this, the more I realize, grades don't mean shit. It could be the smartest MFer in the class that gets an A but doesn't learn half of the shit they could because they can get A's in their sleep. Then there are students who will bust their ass, learn a TON and just barely get a B because they can't write worth a shit. I've given up on a few, but I'll start all over with new crop of students again next year. I just have to figure out the losers a little quicker next time.

~C

CD of the moment: Dave Chappelle's Block Party

My manicure nightmare

Well this is the last time I'm going to "Lovely Nails" to get my manicure!!! Sheesh!!

I'm sayin, I know it's been a minute since I've been to get one, so my cuticles were slightly out of control, but ole girl has 6 out of my 10 fingers begging for mercy this morning.

They are so sensitive right now I can barely type! And you don't realize how often you bang your fingernails on shit until your cuticles are all sore and jacked up from a polynesian digging at your nails for 30 minutes.

The funny thing about it is, I don't know why they try and talk to me because as soon as I respond they just node their heads and smile, then start talking to the other manicurists in their native tongue... but it's that same nod and smile that they give you if you would've responded with some blabber about dog doo-doo.

her: "you cuticles bad."
me: "yeah, the last time I had a manicure was about 4 months ago so I've been meaning to get back out to get one for a while. So where are you from?"
her: ..... blank stare.... big smile.... nods head........
me: "............................ okay, I'll try to keep the conversation to a minimum."

I don't know what that shit is they put on your nails, but it makes my fingers feel like butter dude, for real. Ever since this friend of mine from Georgetown took me to get a manicure about 10 years ago, I've been hooked. I was in college and wanted to hang out with her, and she said, "well I'm going to get my nails done, wanna come with me??" ..and since at the time I wanted to hit it so bad I'd stoop low enough to go hang out and watch the girl get her nails done, I went with her.

Sensing my boredom, she bought me a manicure and afterwards I had my nails all shiny and polished with clear nail polish. I'd go out of my way to point at things to try to get people to look at my nails and shit.... what can I say, it was a whole new thing for me and I've been hooked ever since..

but I'm NOT going back to Lovely Nails.... got my fingers feeling all sore and stuff...

`C

my "homeless" guy

So, you live and work in the city, and rather than hitting off all the homeless people with spare change all the time, I find it's easier to just find one that you get food & cigarettes for from time to time. Plus it makes me not feel so guilty for ignoring the rest of them.
So I go by my man today who has on these huge darth vaderesque glasses on. So I say: "new glasses?" and he says,

"Nah, I had eye surgery to take care of my cataracts and my optometrist is making me wear these stupid looking glasses for a month. She's cute so if you need an optemetrist, holla at me."

... I'm beginning to wonder how "homeless" my man really is. How many homeless people do you know that have an optometrist? I'm thinking maybe he's really just an old retired man who like to dress scraggly and hang out outside and talk to folks all day...

~C