the holiday hoes are back

We received our class of freaky interns for the holiday season yesterday. 

We have a series of interns that work in the office during the break and

others who work here during the school year as part of a co-op program.  So

when the co-op folks leave, the college students take their place.



They're all women, and they all dress like they're on their way to the club.

 Navels all out, tight ass pants with the thongs popping out the top, and

they're all touchy feely with all the men.  Personally, I think they're all

idiots, but all the men in the office are too interested in looking at the

hard nipples to care.



So I've become that guy where they come up to and say, "watch this", then

they go over to an unsuspecting married man, bend over and in their best

'naughty girl' imitation say something like, "I don't seem to understand,

can you puulease explain it to me big guy?"  and then the men knock each

other over to run to their aid.  It's really quite ridiculous, the power of

the pussy.



Either these guys need to get some, or take up masterbating if the wife

ain't taking care of business.  It is very disturbing to see men at the age

of 29-35 drool over someone 10 years their senior when they know they can't

get any.  I mean you would think that these people have never seen ass

before the way they get all excited when an intern's thong pops out of the

top of her pants.  The e-mail barrage is really over the top and they try to

be all slick and motion with hand signals to inform everyone else they

should just 'happen to' walk by the water cooler.



Oh yeah, they stick one intern next to the water cooler.  That's some fucked

up shit to have to hear bubbles all day while you're trying to get some work

done.



......



Fucking IT took my speakers so I can't listen to music at work anymore 

 I'm pissed about that shit.



I'm really in the wrong though.  When I received a new computer I knew I

wasn't going to get speakers with it, so I hid my speakers from the computer

whose lease was up.  But when they finally did inventory, they found out the

speakers were missing......... MF's.  I guess I'm back to dealing with Amy

Grant's Christmas.



My man went out and bought a 'Motown Christmas' to try to cater to me a little

bit since I was talking about how terrible his taste in music was.  But now

I realize, it's not actually the music genre that bothers me, it's just

Christmas music in general.  I mean when you think about it, what other

songs have you heard over and over again recycled for your entire

lifetime?..... none.  Maybe Happy Birthday, but who couldn't listen to

Stevie's version a couple times a week?  I realized, I just hate Christmas

music, no matter who is singing it.  I'm really into the holiday season

though.  The time for giving, sharing, reflecting on the past year, all that

good shit.  I'm all for that, we just need a new soundtrack for the season.



-c

punked by North Korea

So let me get this straight:



Iraq: "We don't have any weapons of mass destruction."

US: "Yes you do, you're lying.  Let's bomb 'em"



Korea: "We have nukes."

US: "Well, don't use them on us or our allies, and we won't use ours on

you."



............... am I the only one who feels like we're being punked by North

Korea?



-c



CD of the moment: Common - "Electric Circus"



Also, I need your address so I can send you a Holiday card.  I'm calling it

a holiday card because with deadlines and shit, it might not get out before

Christmas.

How is your immune system?

I was asking myself this today, because I think I'm going to pass on this

small pox vaccine.  With the head of the department of health saying that

like 3-4 people will probably die from taking it, I think I'll take my

chances.



Shit, it's so damn cold in chicago it will probably freeze the virus and

turn it into crystals around this MF.  I might take Saddam's side on this

one.  If he gets me, he gets me, but voluntarily putting your life in the

hands of some government scientist is not a very good option either (NIH not

included Barry).



Maybe I watch too much Alias, but I'm thinking they're probably going to

inject the country with some sort of microscopic chip that will allow them

to track me and shit, then slowly eat me from the inside out when it's time

to eliminate me.



On the other hand, they must know some shit I don't know if they are really

considering injecting the entire population with this vaccine that could

include any number of possible side effects.  I haven't had a bad cold in

like 2 years, so I think I'm straight.



Maybe it is a way to inject fear into the population.  I think this entire

homeland security business with the stoplight warning system and shit is all

an orchestrated attempt to inject fear into our population in order to make

everyone say, "Bush, protect us from the evildoers!!", increase his

popularity and gain the republicans another four years in office.  Maybe

it's fear that put the Republicans in power of Congress??



I'm not sure, but I've got Christmas shopping to do like a MF this weekend. 

I'll worry about this some more on Monday.



-c



CD of the moment: Llorca - "Newcomer"

Whitney is my new homegirl

Whitney gained a new fan last night during that interview w/ Diane Sawyer. I

felt her pain when she was talking about when she was saying she doesn't

think of herself as an "addict" and didn't need "rehab". It's the ppl who

don't do drugs who are the 1st to throw that "addict" label around all

willy-nilly. We don't know how many drugs she uses or how often or for how

long she's been using them or how they're affecting her life. If Whitney

uses coke on the weekends every now and then or smokes a joint everyday and

has a drink and swallows pills sometimes and whatnot...that's her business.



Whitney's got a party girl in her & I love her for it.



~c



Back up off my new girl.

Fools at work

Well, I survived Thanksgiving.  After last year deciding to spend the

holiday with some family members that I don't spend that much time with, I

was reminded why I spend time with my own family.  Don't get me wrong,

everyone has some special people in their family, but last year was just too

much, folks adding slices of ham to their ice cream and shit was too much

for me to handle this year, so I went home.



Hung out with some people from high school and am reminded why I don't hang

out or speak to most of them that often.  Those MF's are crazy!  My friend's

little brother recently stabbed their dad, folks are scheming on how to move

back in with their parents, trying to finish up their associates degrees (10

years after high school), and as I sat at lunch, I was trying to convince

this girl that she could do so much more with her life than be a waitress in

hopes of being promoted to be a bartender, but somewhere along the line, I

gave up and realized that we're just in two different places.



It was tough to come back to work after a few days off, but these MF's just

make it worse by jumping all into the Christmas spirit.  They've been

playing Christmas music non-fucking-stop for the past two days!!!



And I'm talking about that really, really wack Christmas music, not that Lou

Rawls shit like moms used to play.  I really, really can't stand Christmas

music, not only because of how all of the people who don't celebrate

Christmas are bombarded by it non-stop for a month, but it's freakin'

everywhere!!! Every elevator, every store, every storefront window, lights

on trees, on houses.  I've had enough of it already, I'm not sure how I'm

going to last.





Then there are these fools in the accounting department.  Don't get me

wrong, I LOVE my black folks, but in an office environment, it is not always

appropriate to celebrate the ghetto tendencies that some of our people have.

 I'm not saying don't be proud of where you come from, but know when it is

and is not appropriate to express yourself.



So my girl brout in 2 Miracle Whip sandwiches decorated inside with

doritos(spicy of course) and of course someone said "Man that looks

horrible!". And she said,



"Fool, I gets DOWN wit the MDub n Reeto combo."



........ I turned and walked out of the office.  But why did she have a

tupperware drinking flask with Koolaid in it too??? Are you fucking

serious??? Tupperware flasks???... I mean, sure sometimes you just need

koolaid to set the meal off right, but I mean this is one of those flasks

with the mouth of it way too big to sip out of so I know she was going to be

all mustached up by the end of lunch......



When asked, "Why Doritos?" It was discovered that she was using the doritos

as a cheese substitute............ "Doritos on hamburgers... thats a good

cheeseburger..."



The rest of the Black folks in accounting just smiled and nodded, all others

were like wtf???  It's not like this is the first time for that shit either.

 I've seen it happen over and over, and the shit is just embarrasing!  Why

I feel the need to take on the guilt that these people obviously don't have,

is beyond me.  But bologna is NOT a cold cut okay??  Roast beef, turkey,

ham, sure.  But some burnt up pressed pig ass???  What trips me out is how

this one girl not only put some mustard on it, with some cheese, but then

she put it in the fucking toaster oven????  Like it was reminiscent of some

sort of Quiznos sandwich or something..  But the best line of them all

was when asked if she was broke, she replied,



"Fuck naw, i'm coordinatin my loot."



Coordinate on my friend.........



-c



CD of the moment: Art of Noise - "daft"