Planet of the Retired Apes.

Yesterday I was reading this article in The New York Times Magazine (sundays) and the article was about a retirement home for chimps.

Apparently they were chimps that were used in NASA and biomedical research. They were taken from Africa and brought here for that purpose. Anyway the retirement home is in Louisiana, it has a wonderful view, and the chimps have TV, CD and DVD players, a lifetime supply of banana smoothies and all the other amenities humans would want.

Plus this place is federally funded.

That's right tax payers like you and I are actually paying for this and apparently an act was passed at the end of Clinton's administration to protect them. All this for some Chimps.

Why not let them live out their old age in their hometown in Africa. Is this the chimp equivalent of forty acres and a mule? I'm saying, if they gave it to the chimps... what about us??

~C

CD of the moment: Esthero - "Wikked Lil' Girls"

another hot day in DC

DCcollage, originally uploaded by cinnamon.stick.

... sometimes photos tell a story better than words can...

~C

Dentist chair thoughts...

I seriously hate the dentist yo.

I’ve been eating candy all my life… I eat it during the day, snack on mints, drink soda all day, smoke occasionally and basically don’t take care of my teeth. I mean, I brush twice a day with my electric toothbrush, but that’s about it. I floss like 3 times a year and because I don’t do it frequently, my gums bleed when I do so… so I hate flossing.

So years of childhood memories eating everlasting gobstoppers, and my grandfathers homemade 2” diameter candy canes, my teeth are jacked…

As I sat in the dentist chair, trying to take my mind off of the idea that a complete stranger is digging into my mouth, the following went through my head:

Why are dentists like psychologists, motherly figures, doctors, sociologists, and part-time comedians all wrapped up into one creepy package? So I get the three degrees about not flossing, not working out enough, eating candy, etc… then he puts me on a “plan”… Dentists always want to put you on a plan to keep coming back and giving them your money.

I’ve been eating candy for as long as I can remember, it was one of those things that old ladies always pulled out of their purses behind my parents back. So I grew up thinking that candy was one of the luxuries of life that my parents were determined to deprive me of next to staying out past the streetlights being on and owning a pair of Air Jordans.

It’s weird how your early childhood experiences and memories seem to shape your entire life….. One of my first memories is falling backwards down the stairs of my house, so I rarely if ever turn my back to stairs. I actually think I was pushed though… My parents used to throw parties in our basement and all I remember about these parties (besides having to share my toys with complete strangers) is waking up with strange kids in my bed in the morning, wiping the sleep out of my eyes, going downstairs, and these fools were still up in my house playing cards?? I think it was the daughter of one of these folks that pushed me down the stairs…. Since my parents don’t have any friends with daughters that are older than me, I think it’s safe to assume they were no longer friends after their kid pushed me down the steps.. ?

I have a coffee table from IKEA that has got to go, but I’ve dragged it around my last two apartments and out to DC from Chicago last year, so I feel like it somehow deserves to live as it has sustained such a long journey. It’s a table with legs / wheels and one day while sitting on the corner, the leg just ripped out the bottom of the table. (damn MDF board!) So I took the leg and just screwed it back into new holes, but they’ve begun to fail and now the table has three straight legs and one crooked leg.

I could always just screw it into a different place so there would be three legs on the corners and one leg offset a bit…. But there is a fine line between doing something different and it looking corny vs doing something different and it looking “interesting” or “designer-y”. Part of me thinks I can pull it off, but its one of those tables that everybody knows is from Ikea, so it only takes one fool to come in and say, “what happened to your table?” to make you feel like an idiot after three other people told you your table is cool.

It’s like how when I take an expensive shirt and pair it with a tie from TJ Maxx, I feel like the whole ensemble is expensive!! But it would only take one person to say, “I saw that tie in TJ Maxx!”, but fortunately, most people wouldn’t want to admit they know this because then it is somehow speaks to their own tastes….. There are certain things you can snatch up out of a Burlington, Marshalls or TJ Maxx that look like they should cost a lot more than what you paid for it… you just have to be very selective about what you get you know??

Maybe that’s why I don’t buy things that have a marketing campaign behind them…. Is that a bad thing??? Maybe I just enjoy the process of finding something of equal or higher quality at a much lower price than the highly marketed item…

My mouth is still numb from my dentist visit, and all I want is to gnaw on some candy….. it’s lifestyle adjustment time…….. no more sodas, candy, sweets, etc…. I’m going to be cranky for the next month or so while I get this sugar out of my system… I’m sure I’ll feel better, but I think this whole detox period is going to suck…

~C

CD of the moment: Jamiroquai - "Dynamite"

confessions pt. 2...

okay, been gone for a minute, because I've been digesting THIS ARTICLE and I want to make a good solid post about it but am having trouble getting my thoughts together... in the mean time, here are the last few chronicle confessions I received..

Enjoy!

~C

CD of the moment: Ladybug Mecca - "Trip The Light Fantastic"

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I had sex with this guy 3 times on his wedding day. And it was almost the
best sex I've ever had. Should I do him again no do I want too YES.

(editor's note: I couldn't help but ask this woman how she accomplished this to which she was nice enough to respond with the following:)

Well see it's simple. We started like 3 or 4 in the morning and I think the
last session was at about 8:00 in the morning on his wedding day. And also I
have to say I attended the wedding.

I've had a sexually relationship with this guy from my job for the past 2
years now and he is married. And this would be the best sex I've ever had in
my life. Like mind blowin back breaking, will never forget sex.

I want to have sex with my baby daddy because he looked so good the last
time I saw him but he's married now.

female ejaculation.... was looking to find out if it's something you can teach women to do? If you find something that can allows me to teach my girl how to do this..... I confess I'll lick a squirrels balls.

I don't like the things I have done in the past and would like to find a man
of my own but situations and life has led me down the wrong path.

I want to be successful in my job but haven't taken the steps I need to
accomplish that.

I am very intrigued by you Curt and wonder what sex with you would be like.

I confess I had a friend who recently had a baby and she sends me photos of her chubby ass kid every other day, filling up my inbox with e-mails every damn day!! I mean, shit the baby is only 4 months old!!! How different can the baby look from one day to the next!!!??? I get it, he's a baseball player, and a doctor, and a bear, and likes spongebob... okay!!

I love reading your thoughts about life, love and friends I think you should
write a book.

so look...Trapped in the Closet was pure genius. the songs...enh...but when coupled with the rousing drama and action of the video, i found myself on the edge of my seat. especially when he bust his gun, and everyone fell.... due to the Trapped in the Closet marathon, i'm saying everything to the beat of the song. i don't think my co-workers are pleased.

she might have found the key..I don't know how she does it but pacing me is only making me want her more. We've been talking for a month. With anyother girl I'd be beatin it by now. and getting ready to break it off cuz I'm bored. but this one keeps me on my toes. I feel almost child like in conversation with her. Every phone call is like being hooked up to a lie detector. I'm completely exposed. I've never been the type of dude that deceives women or runs a lot of game. I don't think any of the ex's would say I was the bad guy. but I have bull shited them all at one time or a nother. but with her I wouldn't dare. and the funny part about this is that, I don't think she even knows that she's doing it.