the holiday hoes are back

We received our class of freaky interns for the holiday season yesterday. 

We have a series of interns that work in the office during the break and

others who work here during the school year as part of a co-op program.  So

when the co-op folks leave, the college students take their place.



They're all women, and they all dress like they're on their way to the club.

 Navels all out, tight ass pants with the thongs popping out the top, and

they're all touchy feely with all the men.  Personally, I think they're all

idiots, but all the men in the office are too interested in looking at the

hard nipples to care.



So I've become that guy where they come up to and say, "watch this", then

they go over to an unsuspecting married man, bend over and in their best

'naughty girl' imitation say something like, "I don't seem to understand,

can you puulease explain it to me big guy?"  and then the men knock each

other over to run to their aid.  It's really quite ridiculous, the power of

the pussy.



Either these guys need to get some, or take up masterbating if the wife

ain't taking care of business.  It is very disturbing to see men at the age

of 29-35 drool over someone 10 years their senior when they know they can't

get any.  I mean you would think that these people have never seen ass

before the way they get all excited when an intern's thong pops out of the

top of her pants.  The e-mail barrage is really over the top and they try to

be all slick and motion with hand signals to inform everyone else they

should just 'happen to' walk by the water cooler.



Oh yeah, they stick one intern next to the water cooler.  That's some fucked

up shit to have to hear bubbles all day while you're trying to get some work

done.



......



Fucking IT took my speakers so I can't listen to music at work anymore 

 I'm pissed about that shit.



I'm really in the wrong though.  When I received a new computer I knew I

wasn't going to get speakers with it, so I hid my speakers from the computer

whose lease was up.  But when they finally did inventory, they found out the

speakers were missing......... MF's.  I guess I'm back to dealing with Amy

Grant's Christmas.



My man went out and bought a 'Motown Christmas' to try to cater to me a little

bit since I was talking about how terrible his taste in music was.  But now

I realize, it's not actually the music genre that bothers me, it's just

Christmas music in general.  I mean when you think about it, what other

songs have you heard over and over again recycled for your entire

lifetime?..... none.  Maybe Happy Birthday, but who couldn't listen to

Stevie's version a couple times a week?  I realized, I just hate Christmas

music, no matter who is singing it.  I'm really into the holiday season

though.  The time for giving, sharing, reflecting on the past year, all that

good shit.  I'm all for that, we just need a new soundtrack for the season.



-c

punked by North Korea

So let me get this straight:



Iraq: "We don't have any weapons of mass destruction."

US: "Yes you do, you're lying.  Let's bomb 'em"



Korea: "We have nukes."

US: "Well, don't use them on us or our allies, and we won't use ours on

you."



............... am I the only one who feels like we're being punked by North

Korea?



-c



CD of the moment: Common - "Electric Circus"



Also, I need your address so I can send you a Holiday card.  I'm calling it

a holiday card because with deadlines and shit, it might not get out before

Christmas.

How is your immune system?

I was asking myself this today, because I think I'm going to pass on this

small pox vaccine.  With the head of the department of health saying that

like 3-4 people will probably die from taking it, I think I'll take my

chances.



Shit, it's so damn cold in chicago it will probably freeze the virus and

turn it into crystals around this MF.  I might take Saddam's side on this

one.  If he gets me, he gets me, but voluntarily putting your life in the

hands of some government scientist is not a very good option either (NIH not

included Barry).



Maybe I watch too much Alias, but I'm thinking they're probably going to

inject the country with some sort of microscopic chip that will allow them

to track me and shit, then slowly eat me from the inside out when it's time

to eliminate me.



On the other hand, they must know some shit I don't know if they are really

considering injecting the entire population with this vaccine that could

include any number of possible side effects.  I haven't had a bad cold in

like 2 years, so I think I'm straight.



Maybe it is a way to inject fear into the population.  I think this entire

homeland security business with the stoplight warning system and shit is all

an orchestrated attempt to inject fear into our population in order to make

everyone say, "Bush, protect us from the evildoers!!", increase his

popularity and gain the republicans another four years in office.  Maybe

it's fear that put the Republicans in power of Congress??



I'm not sure, but I've got Christmas shopping to do like a MF this weekend. 

I'll worry about this some more on Monday.



-c



CD of the moment: Llorca - "Newcomer"

Whitney is my new homegirl

Whitney gained a new fan last night during that interview w/ Diane Sawyer. I

felt her pain when she was talking about when she was saying she doesn't

think of herself as an "addict" and didn't need "rehab". It's the ppl who

don't do drugs who are the 1st to throw that "addict" label around all

willy-nilly. We don't know how many drugs she uses or how often or for how

long she's been using them or how they're affecting her life. If Whitney

uses coke on the weekends every now and then or smokes a joint everyday and

has a drink and swallows pills sometimes and whatnot...that's her business.



Whitney's got a party girl in her & I love her for it.



~c



Back up off my new girl.

Fools at work

Well, I survived Thanksgiving.  After last year deciding to spend the

holiday with some family members that I don't spend that much time with, I

was reminded why I spend time with my own family.  Don't get me wrong,

everyone has some special people in their family, but last year was just too

much, folks adding slices of ham to their ice cream and shit was too much

for me to handle this year, so I went home.



Hung out with some people from high school and am reminded why I don't hang

out or speak to most of them that often.  Those MF's are crazy!  My friend's

little brother recently stabbed their dad, folks are scheming on how to move

back in with their parents, trying to finish up their associates degrees (10

years after high school), and as I sat at lunch, I was trying to convince

this girl that she could do so much more with her life than be a waitress in

hopes of being promoted to be a bartender, but somewhere along the line, I

gave up and realized that we're just in two different places.



It was tough to come back to work after a few days off, but these MF's just

make it worse by jumping all into the Christmas spirit.  They've been

playing Christmas music non-fucking-stop for the past two days!!!



And I'm talking about that really, really wack Christmas music, not that Lou

Rawls shit like moms used to play.  I really, really can't stand Christmas

music, not only because of how all of the people who don't celebrate

Christmas are bombarded by it non-stop for a month, but it's freakin'

everywhere!!! Every elevator, every store, every storefront window, lights

on trees, on houses.  I've had enough of it already, I'm not sure how I'm

going to last.





Then there are these fools in the accounting department.  Don't get me

wrong, I LOVE my black folks, but in an office environment, it is not always

appropriate to celebrate the ghetto tendencies that some of our people have.

 I'm not saying don't be proud of where you come from, but know when it is

and is not appropriate to express yourself.



So my girl brout in 2 Miracle Whip sandwiches decorated inside with

doritos(spicy of course) and of course someone said "Man that looks

horrible!". And she said,



"Fool, I gets DOWN wit the MDub n Reeto combo."



........ I turned and walked out of the office.  But why did she have a

tupperware drinking flask with Koolaid in it too??? Are you fucking

serious??? Tupperware flasks???... I mean, sure sometimes you just need

koolaid to set the meal off right, but I mean this is one of those flasks

with the mouth of it way too big to sip out of so I know she was going to be

all mustached up by the end of lunch......



When asked, "Why Doritos?" It was discovered that she was using the doritos

as a cheese substitute............ "Doritos on hamburgers... thats a good

cheeseburger..."



The rest of the Black folks in accounting just smiled and nodded, all others

were like wtf???  It's not like this is the first time for that shit either.

 I've seen it happen over and over, and the shit is just embarrasing!  Why

I feel the need to take on the guilt that these people obviously don't have,

is beyond me.  But bologna is NOT a cold cut okay??  Roast beef, turkey,

ham, sure.  But some burnt up pressed pig ass???  What trips me out is how

this one girl not only put some mustard on it, with some cheese, but then

she put it in the fucking toaster oven????  Like it was reminiscent of some

sort of Quiznos sandwich or something..  But the best line of them all

was when asked if she was broke, she replied,



"Fuck naw, i'm coordinatin my loot."



Coordinate on my friend.........



-c



CD of the moment: Art of Noise - "daft"

99 cents in change

This broad gave me back 99 cents in change today.........



..... I couldn't believe it.



My lunch came to $7.01



I paid with a $20



.... and this hoe gave me $12.99 in change.



twelve NINETY-NINE!!!



I was sitting there watching her count that shit out, and it NEVER takes

anyone that long to count out change...



... have you have had someone count out 99 cents in change??  It felt like

it took up 1/4 of my lunch hour!



I have so many coins in my pocket I feel like I'm walking around with a

limp!  All I could do is laugh about it though.  I didn't have a penny, and

she didn't have one either, so I guess she did what she had to do.



-c



CD of the moment: The Beatles - "Revolver"

The birth of white hip-hop

the release of 8 Mile was a sad day in hip-hop history.



Right now, all the people in my office who saw the movie and had never

thought about hip-hop before Friday, other than to talk about how unmusical

it was ... are all at this very moment discussing this film and saying "NOW

i get it! this music is more than just dirty talk over annoying beats...

it's word combat... it's ART"



On top of that, you have all of the people who have been listening to Eminem

for the last two years coming up to ME and saying, "They just don't get it

do they."  My response, "and who exactly is THEY?"

THEY look the same as you to me!  But, oh, I understand, you GOT IT a long

time ago and now they're late.  I get it, that's why YOU are down with the

brothas right?



I can't help but think that this is how it happened with Elvis.



well... maybe it's not sad, maybe it's better. After all, Elvis took the

music he played to a wider audience than any black artist had ever done.  So

maybe it's good for hip-hop since more than half of the hip-hop being

released is garbage anyway.  Maybe, just maybe, it will finally blow up,

become mainstream, and force others to try something original and different.



But with the oscar buzz and everything surrounding 8 mile, I can't help but

believe that this is somehow the birth of the white hip-hop era.  Similar to

when every label in the country released their Backstreet Boys clones,

expect the same in the future.  The Eminem clones will be rolling onto your

radio quicker than you can say Affy Tapple.



Remember this date, because Curtis said so first.



-c



CD of the moment: Sountrack to the movie Calle 54

New Haven, CT

Burnt my tongue on some hot chocolate yesterday morning.  Not a good way to

start a Monday.



I spent the weekend being wined and dined by a lighting company.  At the

last minute the two guys in our office couldn't go, so me and this other guy

went in their place.



A lighting company, Elliptipar (I figure I owe them a little plug), flew us

out to New Haven, CT, fed us filet mignon so soft you could cut it with a

butter knife, then let us drink all we wanted before retiring to get up at

7am.  It is really interesting because when you are at their factory, you

can't go anywhere.  So you're stuck listening to all these men in bad suits

try to brainwash you into feeling that their products are the best.  Of

course they do it all in the name of 'lighting education', but by giving

people hats to wear, pens and business card holders with the company's name

on it, the attempt is to subliminally scar your brain with this company's

name.



The funniest part is to watch how at the beginning they asked everyone to

say the company slogan together, "There is no equal".  After a less than

stellar response from the audience, they made us say it again, and again. 

By the end of the day, MF's were shouting that shit, "THERE IS NO EQUAL!" 

.... hilarious shit.



New Haven is where Yale is located and so when they took us to eat we went

to all of these Ivy Leage private club type places to eat.  Almost all of

the waitstaff was black or mexican, there were all these paintings of old

white guys on the walls, and rooms where men were gathered drinking scotch. 

Walking around the campus, it really FELT like it was an Ivy league school. 

Everything just wreaked of old money.  It was like, noone here needed

financial aid.  I'm sure that's not the case, but that's what it felt like.



Anyway, so there were these images of people I had never heard of these guys

painted adorning all of the walls in this club.  I wonder at what point in

life do you deem it appropriate to sit for hours on end to have your own

image painted.  Is this something that others decide and pay to have done

for you?  Or do you reach a point where you say to yourself, "I should have

my portrait done"  I realize it speaks to some old English tradition, but it

was weird to be in a place where people still do that sort of thing.



Now that I think of it, I have had my portrait done.  My grandfather had all

of his grandchildren drawn by a street artist in New Orleans.... but I don't

think that really counts.  Everytime I go down to my grandparents I see this

image of myself at the age of 12 with a part cut into my head.  I think

that's how my grandfather still sees me sometimes.



After all the lighting brainwashing, I shot down to New York for a day to

catch up with some people, some new architecture, and we basically walked

Manhattan in a day.  More on New York later.



-c



CD of the moment: Red Hot & Riot

election day wrap-up

Shit!  The Democrats done fucked up now.



With the Republicans controlling the White House, The House, and the Senate,

you KNOW we’re going to war now, a COUPLE of times….



Shit is about to be all jacked up now.  Bush’s judicial appointments will

surely be approved, thus greatly shifting the Supreme Court to be

conservative which means, abortion will eventually be highly restricted,

social security will be privatized, drug dealers will eventually be charged

as terrorists, and a whole host of shit that will be swiftly thrown through

the Congress in the next two years.



I think the Democratic Party really fucked up by compromising on Bush’s war

bill.  By falling in line with the spineless Tom Daschle, the democratic

party crumbled.  They showed the inability to stand united against Bush

right before the elections and were made to be seen as weak w/ very little

coalition.  As a group they have no direction, no one knows where they stand

on anything, they didn’t offer any type of platform except for ‘Don’t vote

Republican.’  What kind of platform is that??



Blacks sure as hell aren’t organized, neither Republicans OR Democrats even

bothered courting us!  The Democrats (at least in Chicago) all focused on

the Latino community throughout their campaign.  Well there was the one TV

moment that all candidates have, standing uncomfortably on stage at some

podunk black church, terribly underdressed (cuz you know black folks where

their good shit to church), clapping off beat as a 800 lb black woman

bellows how good God is.



The state of Illinois voted an all democratic ticket, from Senators to

Attorney Generals and Governors, but other then the Senator, the rest of

them are all idiots, and pawns of the Chicago political machine.  Pretty

faces that can speak pretty well, but with no handle on issues at all, so

their campaigns become personal attacks.  They’re unable to talk about what

they’re going to do, because they don’t know, not even when they’re asked

directly.



But if you look at the large picture, the Democrats did a whole slew of shit

that has just come back to bite them in their ass.  First, the rumors that

Wellstone in MN was killed by the Republican New World Order because he was

very outspoken, then the dead man ply to used sympathy for this guy to get

votes for Mondale.  Then you have all of the personal character attacks on

Bush.  We all know he’s an idiot, you don’t have to SAY it!!  So then

blaming him for 9/11 and saying that he knew all about it and used it for

political gain, as well as placing the Enron collapse on his shoulders, and

lastly, by exposing to the whole world that this ‘war on terror’ is really

all about oil and getting all of the Bush family friends and Republican

Party contributors much more wealthy.  All it did was rally the whole

Republican base, piss them off and make them more determined to get rid of

the Republicans.



The Democrats fucked up, and I gotta give it to him, I don’t know how he did

it, but Bush has some people around him who are some brilliant mother

fuckers.  Because now Bush is king of the world and no one can do anything

about it.



-c



CD of the moment: Curtis Mayfield - "Curtis Live!"

mumblings 11.4.2

Well, the weekend was rather uneventful.  I decided to self-inflict

craziness into my life, so I went to the mall, Ikea and Target on a Sunday. 

These are the worst days to do this kind of shit, but there was great people

watching involved.



I bought a real tight suit from Kenneth Cole on sale over the summer, but

there are absolutely no ties that match this MF.  I am so pitiful, that I

carried this suit around having MF's try to match up ties with it, and when

they failed miserably, I would leave and tell them I was going to 'keep

looking'.  I somehow thought it might be a good way to meet some women, but

it's all men w/ bad cologne or middle aged grey haired women working in the

mens department.  So that plan didn't work out to well.



Ikea is fun because it's really a whole bunch of shit you don't need, but if

you had would make life around you easier and bit more fun.  I escaped by

only spending $20 on some cardboard magazine organizers in all these funky

colors and some candles.



I'm going to New Haven, CT at the last minute this weekend for a lighting

conference.  So if anyone knows something that's going on in and around Yale

let me know.  I'm thinking it might be worth staying an extra day and

heading into NYC for the day to see that new museum by Williams & Tsien or

simply spend the day meandering through the East Village, but it might be

too cold for that shit.  The new MOCA in Queens could be a stop.  I've never

been to Queens before, but I think there is probably a reason for that.



At work, we've been told by our client to take 8 million dollars out of the

building we've designed.  I don't know if he expects us to pull it out of

our ass or what, but that is the task at hand.  I think my manager got a

little upset at me.  When she suggested that we use Stucco instead of Brick

masonry on the building, I couldn't hide my disgust and my whole face

scrunched up like I had smelled the ODB'S breath or something.  Oh well.



-c



CD of the moment: Morcheeba - "Charango"

This sniper business

I wonder if white people gave a sigh of relief like when black people do

when we find out the person who did some repugnant shit is white? I know

when I found out it was a black guy I was like “Fuuuuuuuuuuck!”.  I totally

get this from my mother.  Whenever we would watch the news and some crazy

shit was happening, she would always rumble under her breath, “I hope it’s

white folks doing that crazy shit.”  I know that’s why I’m thinking about

this in this way and in a sick and twisted way, I’m kinda disappointed that

he was caught so easily if it is him. All that work, to get caught sleeping

at a rest stop??



I'm saying, the cops didn't accuse him or charge him, didn't even name him,

yet Mr. Muhammad and a minor's name is all over the news. Ok, so it

"leaked".  But this whole thing begs the question, do I honestly care more

that they are black than that the people doing this are caught?  Or, would

it be better to be under the belief that the ‘white sniper’ is still out

there.  I’m glad if this crazy is off of the streets, but on some sort of

larger scale, I wonder if I would rather have the latter.



The reason I say this is that already, people are saying and only seeing it

like this: Black + Muslim = Farrakhan = add the Nation of Islam and American

blacks to the axis of evil.  It might be a stretch, but is it?  What’s

next?? Bean pie crumbs in the backseat of the car??!!  But actually, all of

the ‘I am God’ talk fits right in with the theories and philosophies of the

5%ers.  So there you have your link to the NOI…..



First it’s Jesse Jackson and his love affairs, next it’s Al Sharpton and the

crack he bought in his pimp days on video... although it's 15 years late. 

Now you have the government with their eyes on the NOI and the Five

Percenters??  There aren’t too many black groups or leaders to go after are

there??



And I wonder if the 2 people arrested were white, with the same

circumstances, military background etc… then would it be another case of ‘he

had mental problems and lets blame it on his childhood.’



There is an interesting editorial on MSNBC’s website about how Bush didn’t

get involved because the NRA helps so many Republicans get elected, that he

couldn’t risk having their money and support pulled.  …. Very interesting.



Now, why have a good number of the big domestic attacks are committed by

ex-military Persian-gulf vets? (Tim McVey et al)  Everyone I know from the

military has some issues.  Maybe this whole post-war counseling thing should

be taken more serious.  Maybe it’s the whole preparing people to integrate

themselves back into society after they’ve been in the military for a while.

…..



…….now look at ME!!!, I’m finding myself already convicting these men and

they haven’t even been in custody for 24 hours….



all the while, the US prepares to quietly take a war resolution to the UN

for a private vote while we're all wrapped up in this sniper business....



Damn shame…………………..



-c



CD of the moment: Ron Trent - "Musical Reflections - Electro-funk-jazz:

past, present, future"

black people love us

"Sally's always saying: "You go girl!" while "raising the roof" to

mainstream hip-hop tracks at cheesy bars. That's fun! I relate to that."





http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/index.html

future chronicle ideas..

Some random topics I want to cover in future chronicle writings..... feel

free to comment.  I might listen to you..... or I might not, depending on my

mood and what it is you have to say. :)



- Black role models on a national level.  Where are they?  Who do we have?

Al Sharpton? Jesse? Farrakahn?



- Kids don't know shite.  So why do we act like they do?



- The new Beck album.  This cat is on some different shit.



- The state of black music today (or lack thereof)



- 'Racism' in the workplace and why no one else sees it except black folks.



- Being broke.  The last 3 books I've read have been about becoming rich. 

Now I have to figure out how to take the steps to get there.



- "Good" vs "Interesting"



- The sniper is a New Urbanist.  They are making the statement that the

suburbs are no safer than the inner cities.



- Voter turnout, democracy, & protest.  Does it matter? Then why does it

seem like Congress does whatever the fuck they want?



- Internet pop-up ads and why I hate them.



- Would having an MBA from Harvard really make a difference?



........ just a few of the things I've been thinking of writing about...



-c



CD of the moment: "Red, Hot & Riot"

the man's foot on my neck

I was all set to write up a big thing about how black people are too damn

mad.  I was walking down the street and all the black folks I saw were just

looking ANGRY.  Mad at the world, chips on their shoulders, looking all

oppressed and shit.  But then I start thinking, are black people really too

mad?  Or are white people just too damn chipper?



I can't make up my mind.



I've been having these weird dreams about getting robbed.  I hope it's not

some type of deja vu or some shit.  I never have these thoughts when I'm

walking home cutting through alleys after dark on my way home from work,

just when I'm in the safe confines of my own home.  Is it a reflection of

some sort of fear?? Fear of losing what I have (which isn't much.), fear of

some sort of physical abuse being afflicted upon me, fear of having to

cancel all my accounts, credit cards, etc... I'm not quite sure.  I never

usually remember my dreams, so that makes this extra specially weird.



No one get shot by the sniper today, so that is a good thing.  Maybe he/she

will just stop at 10 and call it a day.  (and yes, I believe it might be a

woman!)



This work shit has got to stop...... I need a plan that will allow me to

stop working in about 10 years.  If anyone has any great ideas, let me know.

 I'm thinking there has to be some sort of great mathmetician that has

figured out some sort of probability statistics for the lottery.  If you

know of such a man, give me his number.



The CD I've been waiting for all year is coming out tomorrow, Red Hot &

Riot.  It is a tribute to Fela Kuti by all SORTS of folks.  If I ever highly

recommend a CD, this would be it.



These MF's around here want to pass a brotha up for the important tasks and

try to stick me with the stairs and shit, I'm about to make some waves

around here, because this shit can't become a habit.  The boss is in

tomorrow, so he'll have to be the one to receive my wrath.  I don't want to

make too much noise because bonus/raise time is right around the corner, but

these folks have got to KNOW!!! I am more than a stair and elevator guy, I

deserve better and won't accept anything less.



Sometimes I think they just do that shit without thinking... 'Hey let's give

the boring, production task to Curtis because he'll get it done fast and all

the design thinking tasks to these guys who are younger than him and have

less experience than him, yeah that makes sense.' .... my ass.



-c

frequent flier miles

. so this MF was smoking a Swisher Sweet cigar on his smoke break…. (you

know the ones with the white plastic tips)… since when did cheap cigars from

Walgreens become the recreational smoke of choice?



… and did you hear that they turned down Snoop Dogg’s request to be on

Sesame Street?  Apparently, they were all set to let him do it, then the

word got out and folks protested PBS and got their way.



… Who protests against PBS anyway??? I mean, Snoop is not #1 on the list of

people I’d like reading to my kids, but still…..



I signed up a year ago for this joint program between Spring long distance

and Northwest Airlines frequent flier miles and forgot about it.  Well since

I’ve had the service for over a year they gave me 10,000 miles, plus I

received 5,000 6 months ago, and 5,000 when I first joined, AND 1 mile for

every dollar I’ve spent on long distance in the past year.  So when I found

out yesterday I have enough miles for a free ticket I was pretty surprised.



The list of places for me to go is currently the following: Rio de Janeiro,

Brazil ; Buenos Aires, Argentina ; Switzerland ; Barcelona, Spain ; and

Peru.  So I have to somehow come up with a way to choose.  All of the south

America locations are pretty cheap once I get there, so it won’t be much

money out of my pocket.  I’ve been to Spain and Switzerland, but want to go

back.  I really need a vacation too, so this couldn’t have come at a better

time.



If anyone has some vacation time coming and is interested in doing a little

globe-trotting, let me know.



-c



CD of the moment: Djinji Brown – “Sirround Sound”

The world is crazy right now..

Crazy shit going on in the world:



-Snipers in MD / DC / VA killing whoever the hell they feel like.

-One of my best friend’s birthday presents was the death of his father.

-Another one of my best friends recently lost his grandfather.

-A guy I work with had one of his good friends die.

-My brother’s girlfriend has West Nile Virus (she’ll be all right though).

-I woke up this morning and it was 43 degrees outside (good ole Chicago)

-I’ve been at work for 11 hours on a Monday.

-No new ass in sight as I settle in to the idea of being celibate for a

while.

-My brother hasn’t done the dishes in so long there is shit growing in the

sink (I don’t think he’s learning the lesson I’m trying to teach him on this

one.)

-I have a corn on my big toe, a pimple on my ass, and am in need of a root

canal.

-I’m stuck doing boring ass stair details at work on this project with 5

different stair types.

-and Bush is still trying to bomb the rest of the world up.



What the fuck is going on?



-c



CD of the moment: “The Best of Donald Byrd”

looking to the future

Why did I spend the last two full days at work doing nothing but thinking

about why I don't want to be an architect for the rest of my life?



I absolutely love architecture, I'm just not happy with my place in the

profession at this point.  Paying dues is a MF.  But I look at people my age

(or younger) working less than me making 3 times as much, I'm thinking I

need to be working smarter, not harder.  I understand it is the nature of

the profession I chose, but that's some bullshit.



So in the last 48 hours I've devised a new masterplan.  For the last 3-4

years I've created 3 lifetime goals.  1. To be licensed by the time I'm 30

and I'm on pace to complete that goal.  2. To be a millionare by the age of

40.  3. To retire by the age of 55.



So I'm looking at my 2nd and 3rd goals and quickly realize that architecture

is not going to get me there.  Now I'm at a point where I have to decide to

either change my goals, or figure out a different way to reach them.  One

the one hand I think: I have so much more than my parents had and what many

others have at my age, I should be thankful and quit trying to be greedy. 

On the other hand I'm thinking: Shit, these mother fuckers are half as smart

as I am, younger than I am, working less hours then I am, making 3 times as

much as me... I'm doing something wrong!



The internal struggle of whether or not to be 'thankful and not greedy' or

accepting the fact that 'having ambition and drive and a will to succeed' is

not at all being greedy and it's okay to feel that way.



So, how do I get there?  I figure I have to get licensed first, before I try

to make any sort of move.  Then I have to take some classes in Calculus,

statistics, economics, accounting, ace the GMAT, then go get an MBA.  I

figure if I'm going to do it, there is no point in going anywhere other than

a top tier school (harvard, stanford, yale, etc...).  OR, I could go to

school in Spain and live in Barcelona for 2 years... that way I could get in

with some sort of international company that would allow me to travel, gain

some client contacts, then after I've made more money than I know what to do

with, I can go back to architecture and finally do it on my own terms.



... it's just a thought.



-c

Osama who?

I figured out why I had my panties in a bundle over 9/11.  It’s not that I

felt we didn’t have a reason to reflect and mourn the dead, it’s watching so

many people just rise up and join the, ‘lets get’um and get’um good’ parade

against Iraq.  My problem is that people aren’t critically discussing the

issues and rationally thinking about the situation.



For example, I just saw my main man Colin Powell on Meet the Press this

weekend and he’s stating that inspections aren’t the issue because even with

inspections we can’t be sure that he’s not hiding weapons.  So how in the

hell at can we at the same time say that we are very sure that weapons

exist, when we haven’t inspected to find out?



Second, no one has been able to draw any conclusion between the attacks on

the United States and Iraq, but it is clearly known that like 13-15 of the

hijackers came from Saudi Arabia, and none came from Iraq.  And now, all the

al-Qaeda people escaped over to Pakistan, but we’re still buddy buddy with

them.



And why didn’t we go after India when they made nuclear weapons?  India and

Pakistan were on the brink of Nuclear war earlier this year, and we didn’t

fuck with them at all did we?



What no one seems to give a fuck about is why we got attacked.  We were

attacked because people everywhere else in the world hate us for our foreign

policies and the way we pick and choose who to help and hurt all for our own

best interests.  In my opinion, an attack on Iraq would only justify to the

rest of the Arab world what Bin Laden has been spouting all this time in the

first place!!  To me, an attack on Iraq, would only make Bin Laden’s

position even more accurate to the Arab world.



There is no moral reasoning behind attacking a country that hasn’t shown any

aggression towards us and doesn’t seem to have the capabilities to do so. 

If we attack Iraq, then we’re taking thousands of people that could be used

to track down the people involved in the 9/11 attacks, and allocating them

towards attacking a country that haven’t done anything to the U.S.  It

doesn’t make sense to me.



I see a huge flaw in how most people are thinking about these attacks and

how it is being framed in the media and this is why I am so bothered about

everything I’ve been seeing for the past week.  This whole thing is being

presented to us like we got attacked for no reason, and what we are doing in

Afghanistan is a REACTION to what happened on 9/11.  This can’t be farther

from the truth.  What happened on 9/11 was the REACTION!  It is a reaction

to our policies in Israel, our sanctions against Iraq that have caused

thousands of people to die because they don’t have access to medical

supplies that we won’t let anyone bring them into their country.



So as much as our government and our media outlets are making it appear as

if we just got attacked out of the fucking blue because these people just

hate us and hate our democracy, the reality is not quite as absurd.  But

these misconception is what is fueling all of the anti-arab rage around the

country, and it is getting on my nerves to hear these MF’s I work with talk

like Babu from the Simpsons every time anything Arab gets mentioned.  Babu

was from fucking INDIA, he’s not even Arab!!!    It’s the ignorance that I

just can’t take anymore.  …. And folks wonder why I’ve got my headphones on

all damn day.  I’m tired of all the Bush is an idiot talk, when people sound

just as idiotic if not worse than he does!



….. to be continued.



-c



CD of the moment: Ani DiFranco - "So much Shouting, So much laughter"

you can do NAYTHING at all..

headphones/speakers a must



http://www.zombo.com/

9-11, a year later

I had started to write out a big thing for 9.11, but became so frustrated

half way through that I stopped.  I find it very difficult to talk about the

tragedy that is 9.11 without talking about the 'why' of 9.11.  Inevitably, I

can't help but come to the conclusion that we (our government, our country)

brought it all upon ourselves and the same people that caused the attackers

to hate us in the first place are only making it worse.  So rather than

focus on the tragedy, I want to look at the impact of what happenned on our

what's going on now.

I can't explain it as well as others, so here ya go.  The article below is

from www.commondreams.org.



enjoy.



-c





As Terror War Expands, Failures Multiply

by William D. Hartung



Are you safer now than you were a year ago? If public safety were a function

of dollars spent and promises made, the answer would have to be a resounding

yes.

Within days of the September 11th attacks, President Bush and Congressional

leaders authorized $40 billion in emergency anti-terror spending. Within two

weeks, President Bush had declared war on "terror networks of global reach,"

warning friends and foes alike that "you're either with us or against us" in

this new international campaign.



Within less than a month, the U.S. and a few close allies had launched a

major air war in Afghanistan that deposed the ruling Taliban movement and

sent them and their Al Qaeda associates fleeing into the mountains.



As the dollars continue to flow, the scale of the anti-terror effort has

been growing along with it. U.S. arms, training, and military personnel have

been dispatched not only to Afghanistan but to Pakistan, India, Uzbekistan,

Kyrgyzstan, Georgia, the Philippines, and Yemen.



Forward bases for U.S. forces have been established or expanded at thirteen

sites in nine countries, and administration policymakers are now taking aim

at a new adversary, Iraq.



Although there is no credible evidence that Saddam Hussein's regime provided

support for the September 11th attackers, and little to suggest that Baghdad

is currently in a position to attack the United States with nuclear,

chemical, or biological weapons, the "whack Iraq" faction in Washington

supports U.S. military action to overthrow him nonetheless.



The stated rationale for going to war against a nation that poses no

immediate threat to the United States or its allies is provided by a new

doctrine of "pre-emption" which argues that if a nation or organization

might pose a threat to the United States at some unknown future date, that

assumption alone justifies U.S. military intervention, with or without the

approval of Congress or the United Nations.



Meanwhile, on the home front, steps have been taken to federalize airport

security, round up citizens and immigrants suspected of terrorist ties or

knowledge of terrorist activities, and create a vast new department of

Homeland Security to coordinate the protection of U.S. territory.

Fundamental democratic rights, from the right to legal counsel to freedom of

speech, have been jeopardized in the process.



In short, in the name of fighting terrorism, the Bush administration has

been waging an undeclared war on international law and the United States

Constitution.



It would be one thing if the administration's war on terrorism was working.

If Al Qaeda and other global terror networks were being systematically

dismantled and policies were being put into place that would make future

attacks less likely and far more difficult to carry out, many Americans

might conclude that the expenditure of vast sums and the (hopefully

temporary) restrictions on basic freedoms were worth the cost. Instead, by

emphasizing a militarized approach to fighting terrorism tied to a

constantly expanding definition of who the enemy is, the Bush administration

has crafted a policy that promises minimal success at maximum cost.



The costs of the terror war are mounting rapidly. In its 21 months in

office, the administration has already sought more than $150 billion in new

military spending, while funding for homeland security has more than

doubled, from $18 billion to $38 billion. While only about one out of every

four dollars in new military spending has been expressly targeted towards

equipment or operations related to fighting terrorism, the Bush

administration's increasingly expansive, intellectually undisciplined view

of the problem has led to a situation in which virtually any military

expenditure is now being rationalized as a contribution to the war on

terror.



But even as expenditures rise, the effectiveness of the military campaign is

diminishing. In Afghanistan, U.S. "search and destroy" missions aimed at

capturing or killing remnants of the Taliban and Al Qaeda have faltered, and

top Al Qaeda operatives remain at large. To make matters worse, the U.S.

policy of financing and arming Afghan factions in exchange for assistance in

hunting down Taliban and Al Qaeda threatens to undermine the already fragile

coalition government of Hamid Karzai, plunging Afghanistan back into the

state of armed chaos that made it an attractive base for terror groups in

the first place.



While the military effort against terrorism has reached a stalemate, the

administration has made minimal headway in forging the kinds of intelligence

and law enforcement cooperation that will be needed to cut off political and

financial support for Al Qaeda. Efforts on this broader front are likely to

be far more effective in undermining Al Qaeda's ability to operate than a

series of hit-and-run military operations guided by questionable

intelligence information. In fact, the administration's unilateralist

approach to foreign policy, as evidenced by its opposition to the

International Criminal Court, the Comprehensive Test Ban treaty, and efforts

to strengthen the Chemical and Biological Weapons Conventions - not to

mention its go-it-alone policy on intervention in Iraq - has undermined the

possibilities for enthusiastic international cooperation in de-funding and

politically isolating terror networks like Al Qaeda.



For all the Pentagon's talk of waging a "new kind of war" in the wake of

September 11th, its emphasis on high tech military prowess, expensive

weaponry and search and destroy efforts comes straight out of the Cold War

playbook. Non-military tools, from strengthening international

non-proliferation agreements to dramatically increasing foreign aid in an

effort to reduce the number of "failing states" that are available to host

terrorist cells, have been rejected out of hand by the conservative

ideologues who hold the balance of power within the Bush foreign policy

team. And U.S. diplomatic initiatives to resolve longstanding tensions in

regions that are at the epicenter of terrorist ferment, from Kashmir to the

Israeli-Palestinian conflict, have been reduced to meaningless gestures

designed to distract public attention from these dangerous confrontations

long enough to launch the next stage in the Bush administration's war

without end - the invasion of Iraq.



The recent wave of high profile criticism of the Bush foreign policy - from

Democratic presidential contenders like John Kerry, respected Republican

elders like James Baker and Brent Scowcroft, and substantial numbers of

active and retired military officers - has served to slow the momentum of

the war planners in Washington for the moment. But unless the debate shifts

from the significant but secondary question of how to prepare for war to the

fundamental issue of whether war and preparation for war should be the

centerpiece of United States global policy, the political, financial, and

security costs of the war on terrorism will continue to distort our foreign

relations and undermine our democracy for many years to come.

Sometimes, I ask myself why I work hard despite the fact that other mother

fuckers spend their day going golfing, and when they’re in the office, they

play miniature golf on the computer!  These folks roll in here at 9:30, take

90 minute lunches, and leave at 5:00 and put 40 hours on their time sheets. 

At times it gets frustrating, but at the end of the day yesterday three

people got fired.



I don’t wish this on anyone, especially now during this depressed ass job

market.  But if you’ve got a job, you’ve got to realize that people don’t

pay you to play miniature golf!!



Hey, I’m not completely innocent, I have my internet days from time to time,

but I get my work done.  So, as a friend, I’m telling everyone I know to

step it up a notch today, because these mf’s ain’t playing.  We all could

get fired today (except for you lifetime student types).  It has nothing to

do with how nice you are, how well you ran the softball league, or anything

like that.  You’ve got to produce and make the man some money.  If he ain’t

making any money off of you, then you are wasting his space, his time, his

money, and you can only do that for so long.



Everyone dig in and bust your ass today.



The man is watching.



-c



CD of the moment: N'Dambi - "Little Lost Girls" (this is Erykah Badu's

sister)

shadowboxing crackhead

7.08.02

To celebrate Monday, I spent the gift certificate my little brother got me
for my birthday at the 'wrecka stow' up the street.  I bought some
Brazilian: Salome de Bahia’s “Cabaret”, some African: “Retrospective on
Nigeria 70”, and some soul: “Tribe Vibes 3 – 33 original songs sampled by A
Tribe Called Quest”.

It is a blessing and a crime that I have a bar at the end of my block.  So a
chimichanga and a couple of big ass mango margaritas later, I decide to head
home.  I don’t believe in blaming liquor for the dumb things that you do
while drinking, but I’ll be damned if Jose Cuervo didn’t have at least a
little bit to do with me deciding to move my car one block closer to my
house, then locking my keys in the car.

All night I’d been trying to get a hold of my brother, and all night I
failed. Finally, after he got home and I adjusted from sitting on that hard
ass concrete to the comfort of the couch in the living room, he wants to go
and get something to eat. When I was sure that I was finished cussing him
out, we got in his car, and me, Roy Ayers, and everybody who loves the
sunshine went to White Castle to voluntarily destroy our bowels.

When I was a kid, we used to come up to Chicago to visit my grandparents
before they moved down to Mississippi to take their forty acres. The mule
had moved on to bigger and better things though. What I remember is I was
damn sure that somewhere between Springfield and that intersection of 87th
and Martin Luther king, we were going to hit a White Castle. When I would
visit Chicago on my own whenever I had money I’d buy a couple of sliders.
There was this lady that I saw all over the neighborhood, but mostly in the
White Castle parking lot. She lived out of a shopping cart, but I guess all
of the South Side was her living room.

This one particular day, I had enough change for two sliders. Figuring that
I’d get it to go so my clothes wouldn’t smell like I bathed in Crisco, I
headed back to my grandparents. I probably smelled her before I saw her,
hungry and soaked in ammonia. That’s what she smelled like. She looked at my
bag. I looked at my bag. The lyrics to “Mr. Wendell” ran through my head. So
I offered her my fries. I don’t know what kind of gratification I was
looking for, but whatever it was, she didn’t extend it. She snatched my
fries and went back to her urine soaked business and the unaccompanied
conversation that my generosity so rudely interrupted. Maybe it was because
the wind changed. Maybe it was just that I realized that she wouldn’t tell
me she appreciated the fact that I had just given her one third of my meal,
whatever it was, the stench of assisted living facility piss got so strong
that my nose started burning, so I turned up 87th ave and kept moving.

I hate to make light of other folks’ hardships, but last night, we pull into
the white castle parking lot (on the north side), and there he was, a
crackhead doing kung-fu. This poor sonovabith was wearing corduroys and a
winter jacket with his hood up in the middle of July in Chicago. And he was
shadow boxing himself and as soon as I walked out, there he was giving me
the same look that woman gave me when I gave up my fries 12 years ago.

“Damn,” I thought to myself.

I was watching him while I was inside and was thinking to myself “Times must
be getting tough in crackdom.” He looked like he knew what he was doing
though. His technique looked invincible. Or at least, it looked like he was
about as invincible as a tenth degree crack belt is capable of being. I
felt guilty, but a natural reaction was to not give him any money. There
are some people I give change too, others I don't. This guy could've
probably used my fries though because he was burning an awful lot of
carbohydrates on the air.

Then there was a female observer from the crackdom world studying his
ancient crackiestyle. From living in DC, I can say I’ve seen a lot of
crackheads in my life. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pretty crackhead
before last night though, especially not one who was visually both
attractive and addicted at the same time. She had a stack of unopened DVDs
in her hand, "Five dollas, three for ten."

She was pretty though, and she smiled at me as she walked through the door
and I walked towards it. It made me feel kind of uncomfortable. I was still
shocked that she was even possible. I tried to smile back, but it probably
looked as awkward as it felt. I had to laugh though. I’m sure it’s true that
crackheads need love too, but damn. She was a crackhead. And because she was
a crackhead, she was also on a hustle. As I pushed through the double doors,
I heard her running crackie game on the cat behind the counter.

“Um....my purse just got stolen, I was wondering if....”

I was in the parking lot with my brother for a minute. and I told him:

"dog...we just saw a crackhead"

him:"so? look around man...there's probably at least two more in this
parking lot"

me:"yeah...but that one was practicing the mysteries of chessboxin"

and we both laughed and shit.

I couldn’t even laugh at Crackolyn though. Seeing her broke my heart man,
and I don’t even know her. It’s kinda like that feeling you get when you
see someone who is blind and think to yourself, “Man, I couldn’t even
imagine being blind.” And I don’t really think it was because she was
pretty or that she smiled at me. I can't explain it. If I would have
watched my man rock the tae bo any longer, I probably would have been upset
by his ready-for-winter ass too.

~C

CD of the moment: King Britt presents Obafunke

Letters to Celebrities #3

Dearest Nelly,



I’m having a tough time figuring out if your whole persona is another MTV /

media / record company produced image or if you are really that country.



“It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes”



Nelly, if you take a moment to look at the type of issues that are plaguing

the black community these days, pregnancy and sexual diseases, including

AIDS, among black teens is getting out of control.  This is your ‘target

audience’.  I say that lightly because we know around 80% of the people that

buy hip-hop (not sure if you’re included in that or not) are not black.  So

you have a certain responsibility to maintain whether you like it or not.



I was at my family reunion a couple weekends ago and during the “talent

show” portion of the weekend, this cute little 5 year old girl said she

wanted to dance as her talent, so we found her a radio and turned it to the

black station and your song was on.  Don’t you know this little thing was

shaking her ass and rubbing her little barely raised nipples like she was a

little video hoe.  It didn’t help that her mom raised her hand in the air

and said “THAT’S MY CUT!!!” (she was the one with the stretched out Winnie

the Pooh tattoo, wearing dark sunglasses, inside)  Luckily my aunt was near

the radio and cut her short before she took your lyrics to heart.



All I’m trying to say is that if you look at the current status of radio,

community cohesiveness, major label record company business decisions,

Michael Jackson, the obvious stratification of black people into a

marketable product rather than anything having to resemble talent, you will

see that you are a pawn of Clive Davis, Russel Simmons and LA Reidesque

proportions and you and the St. Lunatics should really consider your motives

and reprioritize if you want to have any sort of future career.



Just look at DMX….  *** crickets ***  He will inevitable release an album

this year and it won’t go fool’s gold.  Once you aren’t the ‘now’ thing

anymore, you will be brushed under the table stuck on your knees fighting

for space under some conference table to suck some executive dick.  You

don’t want to go that route, so you need to release a rock album.  Just

completely flip the script on ‘em.  Cater to your ‘majority’ audience, sell

millions and hope the record company doesn’t pull a TLC on you.



Trust me,



-c

what am I?

Work is up in that ass for the past two weeks, but lots has been going on.
My H.S. class reunion happenned two weeks ago, lots of good stories from
that weekend, company picnic, and a 60 hour work week made for an
interesting week. Too many stories to get into quickly, so I decided to
take this opportunity to give a response to a reader I've been meaning to
give for a long time...

"Okay, so I'm listening to my new Raphael Saddiq (sp?) CD "Instant Vintage".
He has a duet with D'Angelo entitle "You Should Be Here". Basically, each
one of them is singing the chick they're digging who isn't giving them
enough attention. There's a line in the hook that goes, "I've got more than
just some good dick and some money."

What!

What do you mean? "More than good dick and some money?! Good dick and
money sounds like nirvana to me. These boys are too sensitive for their own
damn good.

I mean, Curt, really. Do you feel that you are more than some good dick and
some money? Would you actually complain about that?"

Well, I'll let the satisfied customers from my past speak about the good
dick part, but I sure as hell don't have any money. But yes, I feel that I
am more than some good dick and money. Don't forget, I'm a sensitive MF
anyway. And to just want me for my dick and my money would make me feel
sorta shallow and lowly. The problem is, intelligent brothas want a woman
that can meet is on their level mentally, socially, etc... I'm sure there
is lots of good pussy out there, but who has all the other stuff that comes
with it.

If we have those expectations of you, then we would prefer to be with
someone that has the same expectations of us knowhumsayin? If I'm with
someone that doesn't expect me to do anything but fuck her and give her
money, then what is it that would make me make any sort of committment to
you? I could fuck anyone and give her money, but there is nothing tangible
in doing that. So for big ballers like D'Angelo, etc..., they're probably
sick and tired of these ladies that just want the dick and a new coach bag.
After a while that shit gets boring.

I have a mind, I have a heart, I have feelings, I cry, I care, I show my
emotions, I am smart, I am talented. I am more than just dick and money.

(there..................... that should get me some ass.)

-c

CD of the moment: Peace Orchestra - "Reset"

leave the VIP hoes alone

I met this girl a little while back when I had a friend in town visiting.
She told me she was a stripper and by the way she was dressing, I believed
her. She was real cute, had the low cut jeans that almost showed the top of
her butt crack with the thong popping out and rising about 4 inches up her
hips. We talked for a bit and when I started to walk away, she was like,
“Wait, where are you going?”
I told her I’m going home, I’m tired, but she could give me a call if she
wanted.

She never called, then on my birthday, I bump into her and said, “Hey, you
took my business card, placed it in your little gold case and never called
me, I want you to reach in there and give it back to me so I can give it to
someone else who will actually use it.”

I explained to her that I wasn’t trying to be rude, but if she’s not going
to call me, then why bullshit me? Just give me the number back and
everything will be cool. Needless to say, she bought it and promised to
call me.

So about a week and a half later she gives me a call and we decide to go out
to eat on Friday. I came home from work and fell asleep and almost missed
our appointment. I called and exclaimed that I had left her number at home
and I was JUST getting home from work. (you know you’ll have to deal with
this type of thing if you want to be with a Corporate Brotha)

It’s too late, she had already made plans but she tells me to meet her and
her friend at the swanky W hotel around 10:00. I’m there about 15 minutes
half way through a $8 Jack and coke when they arrive and tell me that they
haven’t eaten yet. I apologize and let her know that since we weren’t
eating together, I went ahead and ate assuming she would eat too. She says,

“Well we didn’t eat. Will you buy us dinner?”

“…………………………………………………………………… ’scuse me?”

“Will you buy us dinner?”

Now you have to imagine that we are at one of the hottest, pricest, most
prettiest hotel bars in Chicago right on Lake Michigan and she wants me to
buy BOTH of them dinner.
I look her straight in the eye and say,

“Naw, I’m good. I already ate.” Trying to play the idiot, she assumes I
don’t understand.

“No, will you buy US dinner.”

“ …………No, I’m good I already ate, but if you two want to eat, then go
ahead.”

Needless to say, they decided not to eat. I should’ve know when I saw the
Prada and Coach purses juxtaposed with prison tattoos on the ankles that I
was dealing with some club hoes, but I try to give everyone the benefit of
the doubt.
We decide to sit down and they start talking amongst themselves and decide
to order a couple drinks. One had a Chocolate martini and a ‘Hennessey
straight w/ a splash of OJ’ for the other.
Me: “Once you throw OJ in it, it’s not really straight anymore”
Her: “yeah, but it’s straight until you put the OJ in it.”
Me: “ …………….. yep, it sure is.”

I so ‘conveniently’ had to go to the restroom as their drinks arrived. I
stop by the bar to pick myself up a new drink on the way back to the couches
we were lounging in. I get back to my seat and the tab is still sitting
there and the waitress comes back and asks if they wanted to start a tab or
just settle it now. They both look at me. I look right back at them and
finally one says, we’re still working on it.

That check sat there for the entire time we were sitting there. Finally,
they say they’re trying to get to this other party so they can get in for
free. As they get up I say,
“Well, you better settle that tab up before you go.”
…. They were speechless, sat back down and complained about how they weren’t
going to make it to their party before midnight. I remind them that a $10
cover isn’t that much if it’s a phat party. Besides, they let their check
sit there for about 25 minutes.

The ‘friend’ says, “We are V.I.P. We don’t pay to get in anywhere, we don’t
buy our meals and we SHOULDN’T be buying our own drinks! Understand??!!
WE’RE VEE EYE PEE!!!”

I calmly look at her and say, “Calm down Ms. V.I.P., you’ll make it to your
party in time. God forbid you have to pay a cover charge like everyone
else.”

THEN, they were discussing whether or not they should leave a tip! I can’t
stand a cheap woman. I mean I REALLY can’t stand that shit. When they were
trying to figure out how much they should leave for their 2 drink martini
tab which was $25, I recommend $3 or $4 would be appropriate for a fine
establishment such as the one we were in. They looked at me like I was
CRAZY!! Then the girl I had met said, “I’m a woman, I don’t have to tip!”

I couldn’t help but laugh in the girl’s face. They reluctantly left $2 and
said that if she didn’t come get it in 2 minutes, she was going to take it
back……

Needless to say, we said our goodbye’s and I doubt I’ll hear from her again.
I don’t think I need anymore V.I.P’s in my life.

-c

CD of the moment: Little Louie Vega – “Mad Styles & Crazy Visions”

VIP hoes pt. 2

I have a relevant part of the stripper story that I forgot to mention. I
was so caught up in explaining how these two were trying to squeeze dinner
and drinks out of me that I forgot to mention an important fact. As our
conversation ensued throughout the evening, it became very clear that she
wasn’t really a stripper. She just dressed like one. She is actually a
social worker. I don’t want to give the impression that I hang out with
strippers on a regular basis because I don’t. As a matter of fact I only
know 3, and they’re just merely acquaintances that I’m friendly with on the
rare occasion I see them.

The funny part about the occupation discussion was when I asked the friend
what she did she said, “I work at a hospital”. I should’ve said, “Wow,
you’re a doctor?!” but that would’ve been a little too condescending. Upon
further conversation she said she is a ‘data systems input analyst’ or a
fancy way of saying, she types shit all day. But I love the way she dropped
her title: ‘data systems input analyst’. That sounds like some important
shit!

I was working for the Illinois State Police one summer with very little to
do when one of the supervisors said they had a big task for me that I would
be starting the following Monday. He said I would be ‘preparing documents
for microfilm processing’. I was like ‘DAMN sounds like some important
shit!!’ The rest of the work week I was eagerly anticipating my new
important task. This would be my first project there that was all mine. I
spent the entire weekend telling folks about my big upcoming task with the
Illinois State Police, how important I was and I was honored to be given
such a momentous task all to myself.

That Monday morning, they took me down the hall opened the door to this
closet and there were boxes filled with paper all the way up to the ceiling.
Don’t you know they had a brotha taking staples out of the reports and
separating the colored paper from the white paper…. Those sonuvabitches….
Preparing documents for microfilm processing my ass. So whenever someone
drops a big ass long title on you, you know their job is pretty shitty.

I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t buy women dinner and/or
drinks because that is absolutely not true. I’m an extremely generous
boyfriend (with references) if you don’t believe me. But you have to
understand something, I probably wouldn’t take a SERIOUS girlfriend to eat
here unless it was some sort of special occasion. I’ve never eaten there
and would have to not pay my bills for a month to truly enjoy a good time.
The last thing I’m going to do is buy some girl I barely know and a friend
of hers that I just met dinner at this place! Especially when I’ve already
eaten. MAYBE if there was some sort of guarantee on a ménage I’d do it, but
that is really stretching is and it would have to be the extra payday. (you
know that month where you get paid three times instead of two so it seems
like you get an extra check. .. THAT month.)

Plus, there is an art to getting a man to buy you a drink or dinner. Don’t
say, “buy us dinner will ya?” Rub your stomach, say ‘I’m hungry’, play with
the straw in your empty glass right in my face or SOMETHING, but don’t just
ask me to buy you a drink. It takes away the opportunity for me to show you
I’m generous and reinforces the (inaccurate) notion that the only time I’m
generous is as a reaction to your requesting me to do so. It is important
to understand that I’m not selfish or cheap, simply strong in my convictions
that it is not necessary for me to spend money on a person to make them
interested in me for two reasons.
1. I don’t have much money to spend on anyone in the first place, so I don’t
want her to have any false notions that I will continue to spend
extraordinary amounts of money on her. (It’s all about setting expectations
here)
2. If I need to spend money on a person to impress them and they aren’t
simply attracted to me as a person: who I am, what I’m all about, where I’m
going, and how much what I do for you is appreciated etc… then I don’t need
to be with them anyway.

So why was I even hanging out with a woman who I thought was a stripper in
the first place?

Very simply, she had an ass that was just mesmerizing. I literally had to
regain my composure and get myself together before I went over to talk to
her. If she had even half as much common sense as she displayed, her ass
would’ve made up the rest. I just had to find out if asses like that come
with minds or not.

-c

CD of the moment: Zero 7

Letters to Celebrities #2

Dear Shaq,

Thank you very much. Because of your stupid ass Burger King commercials I
can’t enjoy a damn BK Broiler anymore without your silly mug and that
kool-aid smile popping into my head. The double cheeseburger meal was my
favorite for a while before I turned into a pig and would hit the Whopper on
the regular. I even used to just pop in to get the Hershey’s Sunday pie for
a little sweet snack, but I can’t do it anymore.

You and that ugly ass jacket with the flames always pops into my head thus
preventing me from truly enjoying my food. I hear that annoying Shaft
knock-off music they play during the commercial and see you getting out of
that car that is way too tiny for your size 22’s. It is so incredibly
stupid looking that it is annoying, yet I can’t forget!

So if I ever, eva, eva eva eva eva eva EVA see you in person, I’m going to
kick your big ass in the shins for fucking up my Burger King experience.

-c

funeral observations

“They really did a good job on him”

Why do people say this at funerals? ........ for real.........

I never quite understood this. I mean, folks die and they wait 7-8 days to
have the funeral, they can’t expect ole boy to have that Neutrogena shine
can they?

At my funeral, when you walk by the casket and see me with lipstick on, I
hope you keep it real and laugh at my ass. That’s right, I hope you laugh.
I usually think this to myself whenever I see a dude in a casket with
lipstick on. “If he only knew, they put lipstick on his ass” Is that really
the way you want to be remembered? All laid up in a suit w/ some pink
lipstick on. And it’s never any sort of flesh colored action going on, it’s
always some sort of neon pink glossy Crisco type stuff they put on folks'
lips.

Do you think if I wrote in my will to have my eyes propped open w/ my tongue
out as I lay in the casket they would do it?
That would be kinda messed up. I could terrify some little kids for life
don’t you think?. That's one way to be remembered.

-c

CD of the moment: Lake Trout - "Another One Lost"

Letters to Celebrities #1

Beyonce,

You are truly bootylicious baby. I didn’t realize it until I saw you on one
of those awards shows. It might have been one of those crazy ass outfits
your mother makes you wear, but your ass was bangin’! I was like
‘GAAWWWTTTT DDDAAAAMMMMNNN!!!’

Poor Kelley, relegated to the sidelines while you and all that ass is front
and center in the limelight. She has to spend night after night looking at
the big ass of yours knowing she got a little tiny thing… it must be tough
for her. If I had to choose one of the three, I’d go with Kelley though.
Anyone who accepts the role as the #2 person in the group says she has some
great potential wife qualities. If you get the chance, drop her a line for
me. (and I KNOW you’ll have the chance since y’all are together all the
time, so you don’t have any excuse!)

I don’t know why in hell you would want to be in an Austin Powers movie, but
it’s probably a good business move. I still don’t think I’m going to go
watch it though. Are you even old enough to remember black exploitation
movies?? This whole foxy Cleopatra character doesn’t seem to sit too well
for me. I should reserve my judgment until I see the movie, but since I
won’t see it, I guess I’ll just continue to talk shit.

I’ve heard you’re real talented and not just some sort of studio star. As a
producer, writer, arranger, vocalist and all that, I truly admire your
talents. But in all actuality, you seem kinda corny.

I’m not trying to bag on you or anything, but you just seem kinda silly.
Like I couldn’t see myself REALLY getting into a deep conversation with you.
I think we could go out and clown and act foolish on the dance floor and
all, but when it comes time to get down to business, somehow I see you doing
something silly like farting real loud and laughing about it….. To me, that
shit ain’t funny (no pun intended). But you’re just silly like that, and I
don’t know if I can hang with you for more than a month or so.

We can still be cool and all, and when you roll through the Chi, definitely
give me a call and if I’m not too busy we can hook up and get a drink or
something. Oh, I forgot you just do that Pineapple/Cranberry/Orange
Juice/Soda water mix thingy with a little bit of Grenadine. That’s cool
though, I know a spot that has grenadine. Just in case they don’t, I’ll
bring some of my brother’s kool-aid. It works just the same.

Ah-ight girl, I’ll holla at you later on then.

-c

the pigeon rant

To me, it would suck to be a pigeon. I’ll tell you why. Being a pigeon is
one profession that prides itself in normalcy, obesity, and a survival of
the fittest approach to life. If the next man gets to that piece of bread
before you do, you’re ass out w/ no bread until you find another, and if you
slowgas it to that crumb you’ll be ass out again.

There is no help ‘yo brothaman out’ to get something to eat. The worst is
that everyone looks alike, wears the same clothes, the same shoes, etc… To
be different is to be cursed and everyone else will let you know about it.
And it’s usually that different pigeon that will gain the most and grow to
be somebody special because they’ve led a life of being different, being
picked on and surviving despite all the obstacles they might have crossed.

I had this realization when I saw my man, the white and brown spotted
pigeon, on my way to work. He was flying around scavengering for food w/out
any homies. (Is ‘scavengering’ even a word?) He was missing toes on one of
his feet which caused to have this sorta gangsta leanish walk, feathers were
all ruffled and shit, and he had one of his eyes all jacked up probably from
being pecked at from the rest of the crew. It’s a doggie dog world if
you’re a pigeon. To be different is to bring everyone around you that tries
to be different down to your level.

The worst would be hanging out with an entire community which prides itself
on shitting wherever you want. Could you imagine if everyone just dropped
their pants and shit all over the place all the time, and it was a societal
norm? I might have to move to the roof of a McDonalds or some slippery shit
where there wouldn’t be a whole bunch of folks.

I must admit, I hate pigeons. To me they’re like flying rats. I’ve been
trying to kick one for about the past 4 years. I’ve only succeeded once
though. Just when you think you’ve snuck up on one, he flies just beyond
the reach of your foot. Those lil’ Carl Lewis mother fuckers make you think
you’re going to get them though.

Now that I think of it, I think I work with a bunch of pigeons. As soon as
a brotha tries to push up and be that nail that breaks through on some
different shit, there everyone is, surrounding me with hammers in their
hands, fighting to be the first one to beat ya down. Too many people are
content with collecting that paycheck, collecting whatever crumbs are thrown
to them, but not the spotted pigeon. He’s doing his own thing, stepping out
on his own terms. There will be days when it would be in his advantage to
have the support of the group to find a few crumbs here and there, but one
day he’ll find a thrown out burrito. When he does, he’ll have it all to
himself. He won’t have to share it with any of his grey suit wearing
comrades.

Come to think of it, those spots I saw, just might be a little leftover hot
sauce.

Here’s to the spotted ones.

May you live to see the dawn.

-c

CD of the moment: Digable Planets - "Blowout Comb"

bad names & gentrification

So I get a business card from a consultant at a meeting and the guy's name
is Gaylord. The meeting was boring as hell and my time could have been
spent better elsewhere, so I came up with a list of names I'm glad my
parents didn't name me.

Thank you mom and dad for not naming me:

Franklin
Jamal
Toby
Aloysius
Fauntelroy
Cleophus
Sherman
Aspiridio
Haberdashekiah
Fidel
Puffy
Willard
Enrique
Broderick
Bartholemew
Wilbert
Zutroy
Lester
Guantanamera
Vinx

I also would like to do a tribute to gentrification.

If you can get a cab to come to your house, say OWWWWW!

If you live near a Starbucks: HOLLLLAAAA!!!!

If the liquor stores in your hood sells decent wine and microbrews, wave
your hand in the airrrrrr!!!

If you got a dry cleaners on your block PUT YO HANDS UP!!

If you need a permit to park on your own street, say HOOOOOOOO

If you can get anything from Sushi to BBQ ribs DELIVERED to your crib,
Hollaaaaa!

If you can take a cab to the club for less than $10, screeeeeam!!!!

If you got REAL trees and a REAL lawn on your block....HOLLLAAAA

...if the taco stands in your hood are staffed by actual mexicans puerto
ricans, put 'em up! put 'em up!!!!

if the fire hydrant on your block hasn't been opened all summer THO YO
MOTHERFUCKIN HANDS UP!!!

With more than half of my block speaking english as a second language, my
neighborhood hasn't been gentrified yet, but it's coming. I look around and
I know it's coming.

I make fun of this shit, but in some cases gentrification is a psuedo-good
thing. It has brought a certain level of safety and diversity to the
neighborhood, but for some reason when gentrification happens in the black
areas, they just get rid of us and make shit way too expensive for anyone
that lived there before to continue to live there.

Where is the fine line between improving a neighborhood while allowing the
existing residents to continue to be able to afford to live there?
... tricky shit, and as an architect, I get asked to essentially design /
build / and support the displacement efforts of the people with money. This
internal moral struggle gets the best of me sometimes.

-c

CD of the moment: Jazzanova - "In Between"

Fun with hyperlinks

If you’d like to continue to receive my ramblings and you haven’t sent me an e-mail to my new e-mail address please do so. I’m going to stop checking my e-mail at this account this week. Even if you don't, send me an e-mail anyway at my new address (cinamon_stick @ hotmail.com), so I can add it to my address book. Otherwise, you might not get anymore e-mails from me (and that might be a good thing huh?)

In the meantime, today will be Fun With Hyperlinks day.

I thought I’d pass along some shit I’ve been reading, what I’ve been feeling lately…

When you’re done reading, you should Send your momma flowers for no reason. She’ll appreciate it.

I’m struggling to get over a cold and have been feeling a little off lately, but my horoscope declares I am the shit.

If I ever can get out of credit card debt and rationalize leaving the country for an extended period of time again, I'm definitely going here!

I’ve considered this as a way to have someone else pay for my travels, but I can’t convince anyone to pay my credit cards for the year I’d be gone.

If I ever open up my own architectural firm, I want my web site to be as cool as this.

Isn’t Stevie Wonder the SHIT! I don’t think I play my Stevie as much as I should. He was just way ahead of his time.

... speaking of artists who were ahead of their time...

I want to have a dinner party, but I don’t have the kitchen, the money, or a cool enough apartment to do so. I also don’t think I know six or seven people in Chicago that I feel comfortable enough to throw in a room together and expect them to be able to hold an intelligent conversation over the course of an entire meeting. Well, at least I already know how to fold the napkins.

Bush is still full of shit. AIDS is out of control. The Mideast conflict is worse than we can imagine. Yet we go about our daily lives like nothing is wrong. I’m guilty of it my damn self. For example, I had no business getting this the other day. But I did, for not gotdamn reason….. Am I hypocritical for caring so much about these t! hings, yet doing so little about them? I wonder sometimes.

Did you know they found a seven MILLION year old skull in Africa? My question is, how the HELL do they know this skull is seven million years old? Who determines that shit? And is there anything else laying around that’s seven million years old? Sounds a little slim shady to me.

I want to write about Meshell Ndegeocello and her overt use of sexually explicit lesbian lyrics in her music because I think it could be a good discussion, but I keep bullshitting about buying her new album. I haven’t heard anyone say great things about it, so I’m still waiting.

Anyhow, don’t forget to do the good deed for your mom/significant other. Hey, don’t forget that men like to receive flowers too. It makes all the women at the office want us that much more…. But you didn’t hear that from me. I’m sure I’d much prefer to receive a good meal , but I’m sure this will do.

Fun with hyperlinks

In the meantime, today will be Fun With Hyperlinks day.

I thought I’d pass along some shit I’ve been reading, what I’ve been feeling lately…

When you’re done reading, you should Send your momma flowers for no reason. She’ll appreciate it.

I’m struggling to get over a cold and have been feeling a little off lately, but my horoscope declares I am the shit.

If I ever can get out of credit card debt and rationalize leaving the country for an extended period of time again, I'm definitely going here!

I’ve considered this as a way to have someone else pay for my travels, but I can’t convince anyone to pay my credit cards for the year I’d be gone.

If I ever open up my own architectural firm, I want my web site to be as cool as this.

Isn’t Stevie Wonder the SHIT! I don’t think I play my Stevie as much as I should. He was just way ahead of his time.

... speaking of artists who were ahead of their time...

I want to have a dinner party, but I don’t have the kitchen, the money, or a cool enough apartment to do so. I also don’t think I know six or seven people in Chicago that I feel comfortable enough to throw in a room together and expect them to be able to hold an intelligent conversation over the course of an entire meeting. Well, at least I already know how to fold the napkins.

Bush is still full of shit. AIDS is out of control. The Mideast conflict is worse than we can imagine. Yet we go about our daily lives like nothing is wrong. I’m guilty of it my damn self. For example, I had no business getting this the other day. But I did, for not gotdamn reason….. Am I hypocritical for caring so much about these t! hings, yet doing so little about them? I wonder sometimes.

Did you know they found a seven MILLION year old skull in Africa? My question is, how the HELL do they know this skull is seven million years old? Who determines that shit? And is there anything else laying around that’s seven million years old? Sounds a little slim shady to me.

I want to write about Meshell Ndegeocello and her overt use of sexually explicit lesbian lyrics in her music because I think it could be a good discussion, but I keep bullshitting about buying her new album. I haven’t heard anyone say great things about it, so I’m still waiting.

Anyhow, don’t forget to do the good deed for your mom/significant other. Hey, don’t forget that men like to receive flowers too. It makes all the women at the office want us that much more…. But you didn’t hear that from me. I’m sure I’d much prefer to receive a good meal , but I’m sure this will do.