Letters to Celebrities #3

Dearest Nelly,



I’m having a tough time figuring out if your whole persona is another MTV /

media / record company produced image or if you are really that country.



“It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes”



Nelly, if you take a moment to look at the type of issues that are plaguing

the black community these days, pregnancy and sexual diseases, including

AIDS, among black teens is getting out of control.  This is your ‘target

audience’.  I say that lightly because we know around 80% of the people that

buy hip-hop (not sure if you’re included in that or not) are not black.  So

you have a certain responsibility to maintain whether you like it or not.



I was at my family reunion a couple weekends ago and during the “talent

show” portion of the weekend, this cute little 5 year old girl said she

wanted to dance as her talent, so we found her a radio and turned it to the

black station and your song was on.  Don’t you know this little thing was

shaking her ass and rubbing her little barely raised nipples like she was a

little video hoe.  It didn’t help that her mom raised her hand in the air

and said “THAT’S MY CUT!!!” (she was the one with the stretched out Winnie

the Pooh tattoo, wearing dark sunglasses, inside)  Luckily my aunt was near

the radio and cut her short before she took your lyrics to heart.



All I’m trying to say is that if you look at the current status of radio,

community cohesiveness, major label record company business decisions,

Michael Jackson, the obvious stratification of black people into a

marketable product rather than anything having to resemble talent, you will

see that you are a pawn of Clive Davis, Russel Simmons and LA Reidesque

proportions and you and the St. Lunatics should really consider your motives

and reprioritize if you want to have any sort of future career.



Just look at DMX….  *** crickets ***  He will inevitable release an album

this year and it won’t go fool’s gold.  Once you aren’t the ‘now’ thing

anymore, you will be brushed under the table stuck on your knees fighting

for space under some conference table to suck some executive dick.  You

don’t want to go that route, so you need to release a rock album.  Just

completely flip the script on ‘em.  Cater to your ‘majority’ audience, sell

millions and hope the record company doesn’t pull a TLC on you.



Trust me,



-c