old guy on the bus

So there is this old guy who works as a docent at the Art Institute of

Chicago who lives near me.  Occassionally when I'm running late, we end

up getting off at the same stop downtown.  Sometimes when I go over

to the Art Institue on Free Tuesdays I see him and he waves, just a really

nice old  black man from the neighborhood ya know.  He doesn't move too

fast, always wears the same shiny black leather derby and your standard

Black-Baptist-Church-Sunday-Morning-Trenchcoat, and is that guy in the

hood who waves at everybody.



This morning, we both just barely missed the bus, so I knew I had about

15 minutes to shoot the shit with him.  So he starts telling stories about

what the neighborhood used to be like.... stories about the daily gang

fights that used to occur, stores about how a girl was killed at the

intersection we were standing... stories about a neighborhood that signed

the petition and marched to city hall to have the traffic light installed

which still exists today.... stories of community upliftment.  I could've

listened for days, so when the bus came, I grabbed a seat, thinking I had

heard enough for the day.  I had hit the snooze button for the last time

just 30 minues prior, and there was only so much old folks talk I could take

at that moment.  You know what I'm talking about, when you go to the

family reunion and it takes you 20 minutes to deliver a bowl of gumbo to

your distant aunt because all the old folks want to stop you and tell you

stories.  Sometimes, its cool, sometimes you just want to be left alone.



Needless to say, he sat next to me on the bus and continued to talk it

up, then he started talking about Iraq, the war, and how America is going

to be destroyed by the terrorists.  At first I was like, "yeah, yeah, cool, I

know, I gotcha, I know whatyoursaying, ..."



Then he dropped the bomb on me and said he knew how the terrorists

were going to get us next.  With my interest piqued, I intuitively asked,

"Oh really? How?"... after looking around to make sure no one was really

listening to what he was saying, motioned for me to lean over, and he

whispered in my ear.... "satellites."



"Hmmm, satellites..... how so brothaman?"

"Think about it!" ... now you have to understand, at this moment, I

realize this is a man that has the answers to the Universe. This is why he is

so cool, and confident because deep down in his heart, he knows that the

earth is flat.  he continues...."EVERYTHING is controlled by the satellites. 

Everything has a chip in it, even the new $20 bill!  What the terrorists are

going to do is turn all of the chips off and cause panic.  All of the cars will

just stop!" me: "satellites......"  him: "yep, and I know how they're going to

shut down the airports too....."

me: "really?"

him: {{looks around to make sure no one is listening.... leans forward

and says}}}  "...all of the women are going to take their babies and go

stand on  the runways.... none of the plans will be able to take off or land!"

me: {{{ blank stare }}}}



at this point, he just laughs and throws his hand in the air, in a gesture

of either admiring his own greatness for being able to figure the whole

thing out or mocking how stupid our government is for not being able to

see this.



him: "and you know who the people behind it are going to be don't you?"

me: "who?"

him: " the JAPANESE!!! THEY MAKE ALL OF THE CHIPS!!!!"



......... I got off the bus early and walked the rest of the way...



~C



CD of the moment: The Matthew Herbert Big Band - "Goodbye Swingtime"