VIP hoes pt. 2

I have a relevant part of the stripper story that I forgot to mention. I
was so caught up in explaining how these two were trying to squeeze dinner
and drinks out of me that I forgot to mention an important fact. As our
conversation ensued throughout the evening, it became very clear that she
wasn’t really a stripper. She just dressed like one. She is actually a
social worker. I don’t want to give the impression that I hang out with
strippers on a regular basis because I don’t. As a matter of fact I only
know 3, and they’re just merely acquaintances that I’m friendly with on the
rare occasion I see them.

The funny part about the occupation discussion was when I asked the friend
what she did she said, “I work at a hospital”. I should’ve said, “Wow,
you’re a doctor?!” but that would’ve been a little too condescending. Upon
further conversation she said she is a ‘data systems input analyst’ or a
fancy way of saying, she types shit all day. But I love the way she dropped
her title: ‘data systems input analyst’. That sounds like some important
shit!

I was working for the Illinois State Police one summer with very little to
do when one of the supervisors said they had a big task for me that I would
be starting the following Monday. He said I would be ‘preparing documents
for microfilm processing’. I was like ‘DAMN sounds like some important
shit!!’ The rest of the work week I was eagerly anticipating my new
important task. This would be my first project there that was all mine. I
spent the entire weekend telling folks about my big upcoming task with the
Illinois State Police, how important I was and I was honored to be given
such a momentous task all to myself.

That Monday morning, they took me down the hall opened the door to this
closet and there were boxes filled with paper all the way up to the ceiling.
Don’t you know they had a brotha taking staples out of the reports and
separating the colored paper from the white paper…. Those sonuvabitches….
Preparing documents for microfilm processing my ass. So whenever someone
drops a big ass long title on you, you know their job is pretty shitty.

I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t buy women dinner and/or
drinks because that is absolutely not true. I’m an extremely generous
boyfriend (with references) if you don’t believe me. But you have to
understand something, I probably wouldn’t take a SERIOUS girlfriend to eat
here unless it was some sort of special occasion. I’ve never eaten there
and would have to not pay my bills for a month to truly enjoy a good time.
The last thing I’m going to do is buy some girl I barely know and a friend
of hers that I just met dinner at this place! Especially when I’ve already
eaten. MAYBE if there was some sort of guarantee on a ménage I’d do it, but
that is really stretching is and it would have to be the extra payday. (you
know that month where you get paid three times instead of two so it seems
like you get an extra check. .. THAT month.)

Plus, there is an art to getting a man to buy you a drink or dinner. Don’t
say, “buy us dinner will ya?” Rub your stomach, say ‘I’m hungry’, play with
the straw in your empty glass right in my face or SOMETHING, but don’t just
ask me to buy you a drink. It takes away the opportunity for me to show you
I’m generous and reinforces the (inaccurate) notion that the only time I’m
generous is as a reaction to your requesting me to do so. It is important
to understand that I’m not selfish or cheap, simply strong in my convictions
that it is not necessary for me to spend money on a person to make them
interested in me for two reasons.
1. I don’t have much money to spend on anyone in the first place, so I don’t
want her to have any false notions that I will continue to spend
extraordinary amounts of money on her. (It’s all about setting expectations
here)
2. If I need to spend money on a person to impress them and they aren’t
simply attracted to me as a person: who I am, what I’m all about, where I’m
going, and how much what I do for you is appreciated etc… then I don’t need
to be with them anyway.

So why was I even hanging out with a woman who I thought was a stripper in
the first place?

Very simply, she had an ass that was just mesmerizing. I literally had to
regain my composure and get myself together before I went over to talk to
her. If she had even half as much common sense as she displayed, her ass
would’ve made up the rest. I just had to find out if asses like that come
with minds or not.

-c

CD of the moment: Zero 7