blame it on my brother

I'm about to be homeless and I blame all of this shit on my brother.

I'd like to blame it on his country ass fiance, but its all my brother's fault with his weak ass backbone. Or maybe it's my parent's fault for treating the baby like he was the baby, or maybe it's my fault for beating him throughout his youth. In any case, it's all his fault and I'm about to be homeless.

Let me refresh the memories of those who might've forgotten:

Brother goes to hospital and is diagnosed with meningitis, 3 days after getting out of the hospital he proposes to her on Christmas day. (I think he was still dillusional from the medication). Even though we live together, I don't find out he got engaged until 10 days later..... from her. He suggests he is going to move in with her at the end of our lease on August 1 so I have to find a place to live. On May twentysomething I ask him so when are you going to move in with her.... him: "at the end of the month." me: "like in 7 days?" him: "yep" me: "that's fu*ked up man." him: "I told you I was moving in with her." me: "but you didn't tell me when!!" him: "I thought I told you." me: "no, you didn't." him: "sorry."

so just like that, Curtis was stuck with paying the $1250 rent by himself for the past two months. I tried to go month to month, but da landlord wanted a lease, so he rented the apartment in like a week. So I've got to get out in 10 days. I've arranged to put all of my shit (and all of the shit my brother left) into storage. Of course there is like a four month minimum on that shit so moving / storing will end up costing me about a grand. I would've left all of his stuff there, but my parents put the guilt trip on me so I'm making them pay for half of the storage fees, because I will leave his shit in there to be thrown away.

House hunting sucks. I've put 3 offers on places to this point. I've been undercut by a cash bidder, and have gone back and forth with a developer on another one where they kept rejecting the items in my addendum that protect me from getting screwed. Everyone wants you to buy some old ass house "as is" and I'm like um "hell no." I'm going to have that shit inspected with the understanding if it's falling down then I ain't buying it!

My poor real estate agent bless her heart. We roll up to this house on the cusp of the hood in her newly waxed Jetta shining and of course Bebe's kids lives next door to the place we're looking at, hanging all on the fence, not moving out of the way so we can get to the house that's for sale and this little dude named Andre in a Superman shirt stood in my way looking hard. I mean he wasn't moving and he had his face all scrunched up like he was going to do something.

So of course the 9 year old older sister yells from across the way, "GET OUT THE DAMN WAY ANDRE!" Andre didn't move. So my realtor looks at me in shock. 9 year old sister yells again, "ANDRE LET THE PEOPLE SEE THE HOUSE!! GET OUT THE DAMN WAY!!" Andre didn't move.... Now you have to understand, I've been up since 6:00 in the morning, worked all day, I'm hungry, we've just finished seeing about 6 other houses and condos that were a bunch of shit, I was tired.

I bent down calmly to Andre's level and quietly said, "Andre, if you don't get out the damn way like the young lady said and wipe that smirk off your face.... I'm going to move you out the way my damn self.......... you hear me?"

Andre pauses then slowly moves out of the way. The place wasn't bad, but I knew if I lived there I'd have to kick Andre's ass one day. The last thing I need is some neighborhood parent banging on my door to cuss me out because they've got bad ass kids.

Which brings me back to the fact that I'm going to be homeless in 10 days.

Good thing I've got hoes.

~C

CD of the moment: Wax Poetic - "Nublu Sessions"