MONOGAMY

MONAGAMY

With all these folks around me getting married, having babies, buying houses, and basically following the natural laid out path of life as it is ‘supposed to be’ done, as it was done by our parents, and their parents, I wonder why I am in such a completely different place. I would like to think that I’m just as mature and responsible as my friends who are moving along in life, and I realize that many of these steps come from being in a long relationship and taking the ‘natural next step’.

I know that the concept of TIME is a mother fucker. After a certain amount of time, the woman feels like its time to take the ‘next step’. I realize I’m generalizing my ass off, but bear with me for the sake of making my point. I even fell victim to it! I moved in and just by the nature of the time we spent together, it was assumed that we should ask ourselves, “What comes next?” After a while it’s, “Let’s get engaged.” Once you start that process, it’s all over! Engaged = Debt (ring) = Married = More Debt (wedding) = Baby = Even more debt = House in the suburbs = Debt = daycare = College Tuition …. It ! goes on and on, and I haven’t tried to satisfy the wife yet, or myself!! It just doesn’t seem like a road I want to walk down.

I’m not knocking marriage, I do see the beauty of being married: sharing your life with that special person that you’ve found, that person with whom you can share everything, talk about anything, go anywhere, raise a child together, it truly is a wonderful thing for those who are lucky enough to have found that special person. So I struggle with the idea of whether or not I could really see myself married. It is even more difficult to currently grasp since I’m single and free to come and go when I please, where I please, with whom I please, but in attempting to realize why I don’t buy it, this is what I figured out:

I don’t buy into the concept of monogamy.

So for the next couple of weeks, I’m going to try to come to grips with why I feel this way. I by no means have anything figured out, I’m far from a pro at practicing this concept, and I’m sure many of the things I will say will contradict each other. Like all the rest of the chronicles, these will be stream of consciousness writings that just flow without any sort of point really, it is just a way to put all the thoughts out into the open, then go back and try to make some sort of sense of it all.

I have best friends who are happily married, and best friends who refuse to get married. Nothing I say is directed at anyone who is married, with baby, sans relationship, or otherwise, so please don’t think I’m directing my comments at anyone in particular because I’m not. I’m only talking about me, my opinions and my views about the subject at hand. I can admit that I’ve learned a lot from many of you (both positive and negative) and I hope that someone can learn something from me and my flaws as well.

I welcome anyone’s input on the subject throughout the process of the monogamy series and hope we can all learn something from each other on this one.

One,

-c

CD of the moment: TLC – “Crazy, Sexy, Cool”