Upon the first week of consecutive 80 degree days this year, it feels so nice to see all the lovely ladies out wearing the tight shit. It reminds of a spring day on the campus of Howard. I don’t know if it is the fact that everyone had been covered up for the past six months or what, but all of a sudden there is skin and flesh everywhere I turn. I love it. However, there are some things that need to be addressed to the ladies before we get too deep into the summer. This is just from my own personal perspective, so you are welcome to take it or leave it.
First of all ladies, please use the clear deodorant. I appreciate women's commitment to fresh pits, but I hate staring at a pit full of chalky whiteness since the shirts and haltertops are now sleeveless. I don’t even mind a little bit of stubble in the pits, I find it sexy, but if this is the route you take, then you need to take extra special care to make sure you don’t have sort of battle between the deodorant balls under your arms.
Next, get yourself some Jergens, some body butter... SOMETHING. just because it's not as dry out it doesn't mean you can violate the daily lotion routine. ”Crusty, ashy skin” has no part of cute in it. If you’re wearing sandals, clean your feet hon. There is nothing worse than seeing some jacked up toenails, corns, etc… If your feet aren’t ready to be exposed to the world, no worries, just cover them bad boys up and work on them until they’re ready.
Furthermore, I have some issues with the baby powder thing: under the boobs, under the arms, in the ‘drawls’ -- fine by me, but NOT all the way up your fucking neck, behind your ears and shit! It’s either that or it’s these ladies who tend to ‘over-vaseline’ themselves. It is just nasty. What you need to do is get some friends that will tell you about yourself.
Next on my list are these linen pants (or light colored ones) and regular undies? This is a NO-NO. Please, thong it or go commando. I don't want to see your granny panties. On the other hand, nobody wants to see your sweaty cooch juice on your pants either. Know yourself, know you body, handle that.
For the men, timbs and sweatsocks when it’s 90 degrees outside??? your gonna have athlete's foot from all the sweating man! Hell emphatically NO!
A few more for the ladies, ok, I know its hot, and bras can be restricting but if your breasts are past a B cup, its highly suggestible that you wear a bra. I mean, as much as I’d love to see the nips popping through your shirt, your shits DO sweat, and all you need is a big tittie wet spot on your shirt looking like you lactating or something to make me bust a chuckle at your ass. Nobody likes sweaty uni-tits… Kind of makes you envy the mosquito bite girls this time of year.
Welcome to yet another season of hiding well developed asses. This is one that is often overlooked but has become increasingly frustrating: Sweaters tied around asses. I KNOW y'all got some big asses too…. Damn, just untie the sweater for 5 seconds, let me look at that ass right quick….. please?? ……………. I SAID PLEASE!!!!??? It’s either that or it’s the ladies who have their entire thong showing. You ain’t in an Aaliyah video!!! Then there are the ladies who wear the granny panties way up their back and hanging out their pants. Get some draws that fit ya ass!!
I’ll be the first one to admit that a *slightly* visible thong gives me a woodrow wilson, but I don't want to see half of a butt cheek unless I'm about to see more. Then, when they do this and that tag is sticking up……… One of these days, I’m going to tuck that shit in for you, and you should thank me instead of slapping me. I’m not trying to feel on your ass (well, maybe I am), I’m just trying to help you out.
Lastly, this is a plea to all women. As you walk down the street, up the stairs, etc., if you notice a sexy ass in front of you, move over a little bit. Chances are, there is a guy behind you trying to take a look at it, but you are in the way. If your ass is sexy, then it’s cool, but you can still scoot over, thus giving the guy behind you the opportunity to view two great asses at once. Your assistance in this manner is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
-c
CD of the moment: Dimitri from Paris - "After the Playboy Mansion"
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