more questions answered

Q. Are you pursuing excellence?

A. Honestly, I pursue excellence about 75% of the time in about 50% of the things I do. Upon first hearing this, one would be led to believe that I’m a slacker of some sort. In actuality, I have a terrible habit of starting many different projects at the same time and being passionate about them for a few weeks until I get my next big idea. If any of these ideas start to bear the fruits of my labor, then I get passionate about them again, but usually, just enough to get the job done until I move onto the next big idea.

Some of the random thoughts and ideas I’ve become passionate about in just the past year alone have included: Furniture Design, Freelance Vibe Consultant (or one who helps establishments create a certain vibe, bring in clientele, etc..), Author, Web Site Design, Online Architectural Discussion Group, Buying a House / Condo, Finance, Day-Trading Stocks, you name it….. With so many ideas running around in my head, I find it difficult to wholeheartedly pursue excellence in everything I do. However, at work, I’m all about business and rarely miss a deadline and do whatever it takes to get the job done as accurate and complete as possible. Even though no set of drawings is ever complete, I can do my best to keep the errors to a minimum. At work, yes, I pursue excellence, with everything else………..

Q. Shouldn't this forum be a stream of consciousness towards maturity, intellectualism, politics, passion, integrity, male female relationships, struggles? Why get your tongue pierced, why get a tattoo, why strive toward where etc? Black middle class society, what are it's responsibilities toward society, towards itself etc. Where are we in our fight for our piece of the pie.

A. I hope to touch on a lot of these issues. I usually refrain from expounding on politics, black people (unless it’s ignorant mf’s), and the ‘black struggle’ for a number of reasons. First of all, I rarely have the time to touch on an entire issue, thus making my argument appear misguided, weak, and jaded. Second of all, my black experience is different then everyone else’s so I could speak from MY point of view, but that is something that is not easily translatable and understood without giving a lot of background as to how I come to the conclusions I do (see my first point). But the point is well taken. I’m not trying to be BET and have this be a one dimensional forum a! ll about booty shakin’, etc…

Q. Maybe the issue between you as a young man and women is they have a plan and you have desire. Maybe a more cerebral approach might lend itself to a better understanding of women. Always be cognizant of the fact that they think different than you. Their perception of the same event is totally different than yours. Always know your opponent.

A. I’m not trying to go to war man! I still hope that I will find a woman that all of the strategic planning and attempts to gain the upper hand in the relationship will be truly unnecessary. I can’t stand playing the games, and not be able to say exactly what’s on my mind in fear of being misunderstood, ridiculed or have it marinate somewhere in the back of her mind to one day come out and haunt me….. “You remember six months ago when you said….”

I thought for the longest that the whole ‘men are from venus, etc…’ was a marketing ploy, but it does truly seem to be the case. I don’t have this problem with my female friends (at least I think I don’t), but once you throw sex into the equation, all of a sudden, the things that used to be cool and not cause problems are problematic. For example, it used to be okay to not speak to you for a day, now it’s “why didn’t you call me?” It used to be okay to drop $50 on CD’s, now I get lectured on what I should be doing with MY money. I suppose the idea that I chose to spend $50 on CD’s instead of getting her than dress she wanted or taking her out to eat doesn’t register well.

It seems that as a relationship gets stronger, her priorities shift, and the assumption is that mine are supposed to shift as well. I haven’t quite grasped how to avoid this yet.

............... now let's ponder for a moment the profound statements I just made .................

.................................................................... okay, thank you.

Q. What was your relationship with your mother like?

A. Damn, y’all trying to get deep on me and shit. My relationship with my mother is fabulous. It has grown over the years and our understanding of each other has grown over the years. Now, when my mother gives me advice she prefaces it by saying, “I know you’re not going to do what I say, but…..” My mom will call me at work in the middle of the day to talk shit. And that’s cool. I see a lot of myself in my mother (good and bad). The fact that I can do no wrong in my mother’s ! eyes always helps. If I do screw up, she is the one who is quick to point out the positive aspects of how I screwed up. She is always asking me if I’ve started taking my licensing exam, and always proud of whatever I do, yet continuing to push me forward. I love my mom.

-c