3.14.2002

10 more Q's answered

Q. Boxers or briefs?

A. Boxers, I’ve got to let my man breathe.

Q. Do cock rings hurt?

A. They don’t hurt. But let me tell you about my embarrassment when I tried it on and saw the one she got me was too big………. I went to take it back, and I ended up keeping it my pocket and buying the three sizes above and below it……………... you know, …………….in case my shit grew!!! …………….. shut up.

Q. Whats your magical secret with the ladies?? Do you have some kind of pheromone type shit that you put on, is it your cologne or aftershave? If so, where can I get it?

A. Danielson, in time my son I will teach you the way, but remember, patience is golden, rejection is assured, see the blue horse as it rises into the midnight sun. As time stands still, the mountains will weep when the yellow moon becomes full. Then and only then will you understand. It is written into the laws of flying rabbit, crouching fist under the verse that discusses the claws of the dragon technique.

Q. What offends you?

A. People who make assumptions about what I do, what I know, how I speak, etc… People who ‘expect’ me to not be smart, speak well, be an architect, etc… Negativity and those who promote it offends me. There is too much to be happy and thankful for to be sulking and focusing on the negative aspects of life. Lastly, ignorance offends me. I don’t mean lack of knowledge or lack of experience, I mean those who truly refuse to learn from their mistakes and are not open to anything other than what they believe and/or think they know.

Q. Is integrity important to you?

A. Extremely. I would hope I’m known for being honest, truthful, and honorable. I think integrity is reciprocal though. By maintaining a high level of integrity, you almost force people to be the same way back to you. Likewise, if someone has very little integrity, it is likely, that I’ll be less inclined to act with integrity towards them.

Q. What are you passionate about other than sex and women?

A. Damn, is it that obvious? I’m passionate about opening people’s minds to new things. It might be music, travel, architecture, world views but most importantly, I’m passionate about living every day like it might be my last and trying to have as few regrets as possible. So I’ve made some not so wise choices at the expense of rationality and have paid for it later, but I did enjoy those moments and am glad I did what I did and hope to learn something from each experience.

Q. If I am travelling in my car at a speed of 55 mph and I expel a fart composed primarily of nitrogen gas at the speed of 3mph and my ass is lifted at an angle of 30 degrees with the horizontal, and you are putting your car in reverse at the speed of 14 mph and expel a watery fart composed primarily of an aqueous sulfuric acid at a speed of 52 mph and his ass is lifted at an angle of 2mph in the positive direction with the horizontal, where do you bury the survivors?

A. My ass smells like roses, so this wouldn’t be a problem, but your tricky wording can’t fool me. You don’t bury survivors!

Q. What about terrorism? How does it affect us as Black people.

A. Terrorism has been great for black people. Nowadays, if I go into Macy’s and there is also a guy nearby with a long beard and a turban on his head, security is going to follow that guy not me! Terrorism has created an entire new minority group to be stereotyped that had so impressively stayed below the radar and had only been known to be peaceful, law-abiding, and loving (but cheap) 7-11 owners. As more and more groups are discriminated against, there is that many fewer opportunites to do an unjustice to blacks. Now, if we could only get a Mexican to do something, we'd be on our way to EQUAL OPPORTUNITY!!

Q. Where do you see yourself five years from now and what are you doing now to get there?

A. In five years from now, I see myself being a licensed architect practicing with my own firm on my own terms. Meaning, not limiting myself to strictly architecture, but being involved in many different aspects of design other than just architecture, i.e. furniture, web/computer graphic design of some sort, exhibition design, etc…) But most importantly, I hope that I’m not just taking work to pay the bills, but am in a position to do work that I’m truly passionate about with some sort of philosophical edge to it.

Q. Exactly which foot is my good foot, and how do I get on it??

A. You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you do the hokey pokey and you shake it all about. I’ve studied hours of historical James Brown concert footage and if you watch closely he is doing the Hokey Pokey at quadruple speed. You won’t catch it watching in normal time, but if you watch in slow motion, you can decipher a remixed version of this popular childhood barmitsva dance. He throws the splits in there as not to give it all away. Now don't think because you know the secret that you will now be able to get on the good foot. The good foot is not always the right foot, there are many factors which contribute to one's ability to actually BE on the good foot. Proper diet, exercise, and rest are all key ! physical components to being able to accomplish being on the good foot. The intangible aspects include hot pants, the ability to pass the peas, and a companion who causes you enough pain that you occasionally wail "Please, Please, Please, Please" or "Baby, Baby, Baby". The intangibles are even more important than something as obvious as rhythm which not everyone has. However, even the most rhythm-less person when pushed to the brink may find themselves geting on their good foot. James Brown was a very special brotha. He had the almost immaculate ability to get on and off of the good foot at a moments notice. Don't expect to be able to pre-meditate when you are or aren't on the good foot. Only James had the ability to do this.


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