1. What is your full name? Curtis Cleetis Clarence Jenkins Clay III
2. What color pants are you wearing now? I'm wearing hot pants... gotta getin the water..
3. What are you listening to right now? Rainer Truby Trio
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4. What was the last thing you ate? pussy... I'm always eating pussy.. or if I'm not, I'm thinking about eating it... I dream about eating pussy, sometimes I can see a phat booty and just taste what I think the pussy might taste like.. it's a gift..
5. If you were a crayon what color would you be? If I were a crayon, I'd be pissed off. Living a life being fondled by snotty nosed 4-6 year old kids, and 8-10 year old black kids who got held back because they couldn't color in the damn lines... fuck that..
6. How is the weather right now? surprisingly cold out here in DC.. I hate all this, "oh you're from Chicago, you're not wearing shorts?" man, cold is cold.. I don't give a damn where you're at.
7. Last person you talked to on the phone: no one you know so don't worry about it
8. The first thing you notice about a guy/girl? I'm an ankle guy. I love me some sexy ankle loving. That is that next level ish... I know most people aren't ready... the ankles is where it's at.
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Absolutely. Anyone who can appreciate Kobe Beef, House Music, and a good cigar is a-okay in my book.
10. Are you happy today? I'm always happy. Even when I act upset, half ofthe time it is just an act to get what I want... attention or to be left the fuck alone, but I'm generally a happy guy as long as I have good music, good food and sleep.
11. What is your favorite drink? This is a trick question. Just because something is your favorite drink doesn't mean that you drink it all thetime. The key is to understand HOW you define favorite. For example, there was a bottled drink in Jamaica I drank non-stop that is a mix of beer and Kola Champagne (sort of a bubble-gum soda). That shit is loverly, probably my favorite drink, but I haven't had it in like 10 years, but I can still taste it if I try hard enough.
13. Favorite Sports: College Basketball is where it's at. But I'd like to say Jai-Alai just to fuck with niggas to add to that "damn he's so cultural" tag people use when they don't know what in the fuck you're talking about.
14. Hair color: I'd love to see blonde pubes. Even when I dated a blond, the pubes weren't blonde... I don't get it... oh, did this mean my haircolor? yeah, um... black.
15. Eye color: Hazel.. y'all know I got dem dere pretty eyes..
16. Do you wear contacts? No, although a woman made me bang the back of my head 10 times because she was convinced contacts would pop out of my eyes.
17. Siblings: Siblings will fuck your life up. See previous chronicles for proof. The thing is that you can't do anything about them. Getting mad don't do you shit. Telling them what you think don't do shit, so you end up just not giving a fuck and letting them do whatever the hell they want to do because you realize after a period of time that there is no other alternative.
18. Favorite month: Who has time to hate on the other 11 months? I love all the months... now give me gifts.
19. Favorite food: I love seafood... all kinds, even Red Lobster
20. Last movie you watched: Underworld, which although good, wasn't as good as the person who made me watch it claimed it was going to be. You would've thought I'd be jumping up and down screaming "Hercules! Hercules!" but it didn't quite go down like that. It was tight though.
21. Favorite day(s) of the year: payday
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out: I used to have game, but not anymore. I'm convinced the ex put some mumbo jumbo voo doo on me or something because I just don't have it anymore. I was out the other night talking to these two girls, everything is going well and then at the first pause in the conversation I was like, "okay, I'll see you two later!"......... I walked away like, "wtf was that Curtis??" but I got ass, so it's not a problem.
23. Summer or Winter: I prefer the 4-5 month period that occurs between thecurrent 1 month summers and winters.
24. Hugs or Kisses: hugs.... cuz you know Imma grab that booty!
25. Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup
26. Do you want your friends to write back: not really... I can't even believe I did this shit.
27. Who is most likely to respond: My cousin who has probably already forwarded this to me twice already but I no longer look at her e-mails because they're all say the same thing. "God is great, be thankful you have all your arms unlike this poor kid in zimbabwe with an alcoholic mother. nowforward this to 10 people OR YOU'RE GONNA DIE!!!! GONNA DIE I SAY!!!!"
28. Who is least likely to respond: If you don't YOU'RE GONNA DIE!!!! GONNADIE!!!! If you don't forward to 314 people within the next 15 minutes YOU'RE GONNA DIE!!!! GONNA DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH!!!
29. What's under your bed? since I'm in transition right now and am sleeping on an air mattress, I have carpet under my plastic bed right now, under that is probaby a 1/2" layer of carpet padding and under that is probably a 3/4" layer of plywood
30. Favorite Board Game: I hate board games, I hate that I like playing board games too. It makes me feel so... so...honey-find-something-to-keep-the-guests-and-their-kids-happy-ish
31. What did you do last night? it would be impossible to sum this up into a quick witty response because I did so much that could easily go unnoticed throughout the course of the night. for example, I was looking at the moon and I was trying to figure out where the sun was in relationship to the earth and it really troubled me... so I just kept smoking cigarettes, sitting outside until I could figure it out.... stupid shit... that's the kind of shit you do when you're high, and I don't even smoke like that..
32. Favorite Smells: Hyacinth
33. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? why the hell would I want to? Who knows where in the hell my nose has been.
34. What inspires you? innovative music, great buildings, great bodies, great head, you know, stuff like that.
35. Favorite flower: Flowers huh? Orchids are pretty much the shit, but stargazer lillies would have to be a close second... the hoes love the stargazers.
36. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?"Whew! My breath is kicking!"
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