my di*k is pretty

My dick always looks prettier in the club.

Maybe it's the flashing strobes or it's ability to change colors from purple to green to blue with each ray of passing light.

Maybe it's the illusion that it is actually pulsing to the rhythm of the bass that makes jaws drop in amazement.

Maybe it's the alcohol

Maybe it's always a full moon when it happens and I just never noticed.

Maybe it's the cocoa butter. I don't know.

I always thought the darkness would make it look more skinny, you know, black makes you look thin etc.., but think about it... if you are in a dark room then your eye briefly catches a glimpse of light, once that light gets taken away, the thing that was bright has that lingering glow that makes it seem like it's bigger than it actually is. That's what happens when light hits my dick in the club.

Maybe it's the simple shock that when asked if they can "see it", (like it's some sort of rare baseball card) it doesn't take much swaying to get me to whip it out. Its almost like a dare on the playground when you're a little kid... once you get dared, you gotta do it.

It's not like she really EXPECTS you to actually pull it out. And more often then not, I really have no intention to. So after the obligitory "reach-for-the-zipper-and-act-like-you're-going-to-but-know-you-really-aren't" routine, that's when you get the "SEE, I knew you wouldn't pull it out."

That's when you whip it out.

Right when they're convinced you won't do it. And are mimicking you for being the chicken they are presuming you are. So it ends up being more like, "SEE, I knew you wouldn't... oh my......" It's the best way to express "shut the fuck up" without muttering a word.

But you have to put it away all quick like. Otherwise the lighting might shift, flash or make it seem all deformed or something. There has to be tons of people around to, because it makes it all the more dramatic that no one else around just saw you whip your shit out ya know.

It's not like I do the shit all the time, I mean I could count on one hand the number of times it has happened but it works.

trust me it works.

~C

CD of the moment: Amy Winehouse - "Frank"