Who is Curtis?

So, who is Curtis?



I’ll tell you.



Curtis wrote all the messages in fortune cookies

Curtis won a BET award for best video

Curtis defeated all of the Iron Chefs

Curtis sings Duran Duran in his sleep

Curtis is the keymaster

Curtis is the reason for the season

Curtis fu*ked every female from A Different World

Curtis sheds skin once a year

Curtis is the best thing since sliced bread

Curtis stole the cookie from the cookie jar

Curtis is “the man”

Curtis loves the hoes

Curtis knows the hoes love him back

Curtis can walk on water

Curtis loves it when you call him ‘big pa-pa’

Curtis will be a new crayola crayon color

Curtis dials 1-800-CALL-ATT

Curtis loves plain ballpark hot dogs

Curtis is broke. always.

Curtis won’t donate his stem cells

Curtis has never had a jheri curl

Curtis will win the CA recall election

Curtis created cotton candy

Curtis broke up SWV

Curtis version 4.3 is now available

Curtis is made with no MSG

Curtis can pop lock

Curtis occasionally gives money to the homeless

Curtis ignores the homeless most of the time though

Curtis never flinches

Curtis sips Crystal with Rosa Parks

Curtis loves broccoli, but hates the word broccoli

Curtis needs a new muffler on his car

Curtis fixed the ’03 blackout with a rubber band

Curtis kicks people in the chest real hard

Curtis is the only word that rhymes with orange

Curtis handed Bill Clinton the cigar

Curtis misses the light brown colored M&M’s

Curtis spelled backwards is sitruC

Curtis eats rocks for breakfast and shits concrete

Curtis loves disco

Curtis never lost at Operation.  Never.

Curtis can’t swim very well

Curtis funked up your bathroom on the way out

Curtis ate the last piece of chicken

Curtis never orders chicken in restaurants

Curtis is forever.



now you know.



-c





CD of the moment: Goapele

on: prostate stimulation

I'm going to get a little down and dirty with this one.... I've been absent

for awhile so for my return it's going to be like BAM!!!  Where the fuck has

he been???  and What the fuck has he been doing???  Nah, it aint' like that,

but I've been wanting to breach this subject for a long minute, just haven't

been able to put together the right words, so.... I'm just going to use

someone else's.



The following is a post from okayplayer.com (the Roots website) that I

thought I would share with you:



-----------------



"For those who want to learn.



Enlightened men understand that prostate stimulation is intensely

pleasurable (the prostate has sometimes been called the “P-Spot” to draw a

parallel with women’s “G-Spot”), and those men overwhelmingly prefer

prostate stimulation by the person they find sexually attractive. A straight

man wouldn’t find having his prostate stimulated by another man any more

appealing than a gay man would find having his prostate stimulated by a

woman. Orgasm aided by prostate stimulation is said to be mind-blowing and

unparalleled in its intensity.



So, what is this area of supreme manly ecstasy? The prostate gland, or

“P-Spot,” which is stimulated through anal penetration. In fact, men get two

bonus features from anal stimulation. As well as the P-Spot, the bulb of the

penis can be caressed via the anus, which some men have described as feeling

like masturbating from inside. Who would turn that down?



Studies range in their findings, but the 1990 Kinsey New Report on Sex found

that only 50 – 60% of gay men had tried anal sex and only about 30% of them

practiced it regularly. On the other hand, the results of five recent

surveys indicate that 20 – 45% of women regularly practice anal sex. Did you

see that statistic? Only about 30% of gay men engage in anal sex regularly.

On the other hand, virtually ALL gay men engage in fellatio (giving or

receiving). Why is it that we never ask whether a straight man who likes

blow jobs is really gay?



How To:

To stimulate his prostate, insert a finger about three inches into his anus

and rectum and gently massage by moving your finger in the direction of his

navel. Don’t poke. Just stroke it gently. You may not be able to

differentiate the prostate, especially during early arousal stages, or you

may be able to feel something like a walnut sized piece of gristle. Gently

explore and massage. And don’t ignore his penis. Try every variation –

P-Spot stimulation during a blow job, while stroking his dick with your

other hand, and during intercourse. Ladies: Remember to use the same

preparation and gentleness that you want him to use when sticking a finger

in your ass. Gentlemen: Feedback is essential. Let her know where and when

it feels good."



---------------------------------------





hmmmm.......





hmmmmm...........





.............









hmmmmmmmm.......



okay.



I'm a proud heterosexual man...... I can do this......





......





I am proclaiming to the world that I like it whenever a WOMAN plays with my

ass.



When approached as an extension of head, the feeling from having your ass

licked is a beautiful thing.  But, when she starts trying to put that finger

in, my ass behaves like a guillotine.  However, I can with all the

masculinity I have admit that I enjoy a little fondling of my shit hole. 

Especially, as mentioned above, during a blow job.... that shit is fucking

tits.  BUT, for me, it's gotta be done by a woman.



Babble away, but I’m not going to engage in argument on this subject. I

won't allow the penetration, but I can see how it would feel good.  Suffice

it to say that anyone who thinks, in the face of factual evidence to the

contrary, that any man who likes anal games is gay on the DL is stubbornly

ignorant.  And I'm sorry that you are missing out.



-c



CD of the moment: Radiohead: "OK Computer" (not Annie Lennox)

on: prostate stimulation

I'm going to get a little down and dirty with this one.... I've been absent

for awhile so for my return it's going to be like BAM!!!  Where the fuck has

he been???  and What the fuck has he been doing???  Nah, it aint' like that,

but I've been wanting to breach this subject for a long minute, just haven't

been able to put together the right words, so.... I'm just going to use

someone else's.



The following is a post from okayplayer.com (the Roots website) that I

thought I would share with you:



-----------------



"For those who want to learn.



Enlightened men understand that prostate stimulation is intensely

pleasurable (the prostate has sometimes been called the “P-Spot” to draw a

parallel with women’s “G-Spot”), and those men overwhelmingly prefer

prostate stimulation by the person they find sexually attractive. A straight

man wouldn’t find having his prostate stimulated by another man any more

appealing than a gay man would find having his prostate stimulated by a

woman. Orgasm aided by prostate stimulation is said to be mind-blowing and

unparalleled in its intensity.



So, what is this area of supreme manly ecstasy? The prostate gland, or

“P-Spot,” which is stimulated through anal penetration. In fact, men get two

bonus features from anal stimulation. As well as the P-Spot, the bulb of the

penis can be caressed via the anus, which some men have described as feeling

like masturbating from inside. Who would turn that down?



Studies range in their findings, but the 1990 Kinsey New Report on Sex found

that only 50 – 60% of gay men had tried anal sex and only about 30% of them

practiced it regularly. On the other hand, the results of five recent

surveys indicate that 20 – 45% of women regularly practice anal sex. Did you

see that statistic? Only about 30% of gay men engage in anal sex regularly.

On the other hand, virtually ALL gay men engage in fellatio (giving or

receiving). Why is it that we never ask whether a straight man who likes

blow jobs is really gay?



How To:

To stimulate his prostate, insert a finger about three inches into his anus

and rectum and gently massage by moving your finger in the direction of his

navel. Don’t poke. Just stroke it gently. You may not be able to

differentiate the prostate, especially during early arousal stages, or you

may be able to feel something like a walnut sized piece of gristle. Gently

explore and massage. And don’t ignore his penis. Try every variation –

P-Spot stimulation during a blow job, while stroking his dick with your

other hand, and during intercourse. Ladies: Remember to use the same

preparation and gentleness that you want him to use when sticking a finger

in your ass. Gentlemen: Feedback is essential. Let her know where and when

it feels good."



---------------------------------------





hmmmm.......





hmmmmm...........





.............









hmmmmmmmm.......



okay.



I'm a proud heterosexual man...... I can do this......





......





I am proclaiming to the world that I like it whenever a WOMAN plays with my

ass.



When approached as an extension of head, the feeling from having your ass

licked is a beautiful thing.  But, when she starts trying to put that finger

in, my ass behaves like a guillotine.  However, I can with all the

masculinity I have admit that I enjoy a little fondling of my shit hole. 

Especially, as mentioned above, during a blow job.... that shit is fucking

tits.  BUT, for me, it's gotta be done by a woman.



Babble away, but I’m not going to engage in argument on this subject. I

won't allow the penetration, but I can see how it would feel good.  Suffice

it to say that anyone who thinks, in the face of factual evidence to the

contrary, that any man who likes anal games is gay on the DL is stubbornly

ignorant.  And I'm sorry that you are missing out.



-c



CD of the moment: Radiohead: "OK Computer" (not Annie Lennox)

on: prostate stimulation

I'm going to get a little down and dirty with this one.... I've been absent

for awhile so for my return it's going to be like BAM!!!  Where the fuck has

he been???  and What the fuck has he been doing???  Nah, it aint' like that,

but I've been wanting to breach this subject for a long minute, just haven't

been able to put together the right words, so.... I'm just going to use

someone else's.



The following is a post from okayplayer.com (the Roots website) that I

thought I would share with you:



-----------------



"For those who want to learn.



Enlightened men understand that prostate stimulation is intensely

pleasurable (the prostate has sometimes been called the “P-Spot” to draw a

parallel with women’s “G-Spot”), and those men overwhelmingly prefer

prostate stimulation by the person they find sexually attractive. A straight

man wouldn’t find having his prostate stimulated by another man any more

appealing than a gay man would find having his prostate stimulated by a

woman. Orgasm aided by prostate stimulation is said to be mind-blowing and

unparalleled in its intensity.



So, what is this area of supreme manly ecstasy? The prostate gland, or

“P-Spot,” which is stimulated through anal penetration. In fact, men get two

bonus features from anal stimulation. As well as the P-Spot, the bulb of the

penis can be caressed via the anus, which some men have described as feeling

like masturbating from inside. Who would turn that down?



Studies range in their findings, but the 1990 Kinsey New Report on Sex found

that only 50 – 60% of gay men had tried anal sex and only about 30% of them

practiced it regularly. On the other hand, the results of five recent

surveys indicate that 20 – 45% of women regularly practice anal sex. Did you

see that statistic? Only about 30% of gay men engage in anal sex regularly.

On the other hand, virtually ALL gay men engage in fellatio (giving or

receiving). Why is it that we never ask whether a straight man who likes

blow jobs is really gay?



How To:

To stimulate his prostate, insert a finger about three inches into his anus

and rectum and gently massage by moving your finger in the direction of his

navel. Don’t poke. Just stroke it gently. You may not be able to

differentiate the prostate, especially during early arousal stages, or you

may be able to feel something like a walnut sized piece of gristle. Gently

explore and massage. And don’t ignore his penis. Try every variation –

P-Spot stimulation during a blow job, while stroking his dick with your

other hand, and during intercourse. Ladies: Remember to use the same

preparation and gentleness that you want him to use when sticking a finger

in your ass. Gentlemen: Feedback is essential. Let her know where and when

it feels good."



---------------------------------------





hmmmm.......





hmmmmm...........





.............









hmmmmmmmm.......



okay.



I'm a proud heterosexual man...... I can do this......





......





I am proclaiming to the world that I like it whenever a WOMAN plays with my

ass.



When approached as an extension of head, the feeling from having your ass

licked is a beautiful thing.  But, when she starts trying to put that finger

in, my ass behaves like a guillotine.  However, I can with all the

masculinity I have admit that I enjoy a little fondling of my shit hole. 

Especially, as mentioned above, during a blow job.... that shit is fucking

tits.  BUT, for me, it's gotta be done by a woman.



Babble away, but I’m not going to engage in argument on this subject. I

won't allow the penetration, but I can see how it would feel good.  Suffice

it to say that anyone who thinks, in the face of factual evidence to the

contrary, that any man who likes anal games is gay on the DL is stubbornly

ignorant.  And I'm sorry that you are missing out.



-c



CD of the moment: Radiohead: "OK Computer" (not Annie Lennox)

Public Service Announcement

Ladies,



More than likely, all of your male friends want to fuck you.  At least once,

just to see.



that is all.



-c





CD of the moment: Jaga Jazzist - "The Stix"

Public Service Announcement

Ladies,



More than likely, all of your male friends want to fu*k you.  At least once,

just to see.



that is all.



-c





CD of the moment: Jaga Jazzist - "The Stix"

chimp riding shotgun

So I'm riding on the bus on my way to work, you know, minding my own

business, chilling on the bus, when I look over and slowly pulling up to the

side of the bus is an old, beat-up, burgundy, Honda Accord.  I don't think

anything of it, until it pulls beside me.



I look into the passenger seat of the vehicle, and there was a chimpanzee

riding shotgun.



Not, a big gorilla, ape, or one of those small monkeys, but a chimpanzee big

enough to have it's head pop up over the window as it sat in the seat.



I said, a chimp riding shotgun on the way downtown.



Where could they have been going?



I wish I would've seen the driver.



-c