Over the past few weeks, blogging on here has become the last thing I want to do. I’m sick of reading depressing news, the news on friends’ blogs — good and bad — shatters my emotional nerves, and while I can keep a good handle of doing small posts about everyday mundane bullshit, I can’t do anything involving serious shit any more because I've become so cynical about the world. I want to run like hell from writing this entry now. That empty feeling about writing is kicking my ass. But its mainly because my energies have been focused in much more constructive avenues.
I had a collection of things I wanted to read and write about, and I thought I wanted to do it for fun. But so many things are losing its excitement. Small things that should be secure and wouldn’t bother any average person are tearing me apart because they’re falling to shambles. I’ve been taking refuge in the mundane — huddling with my books on the way to a position that has been much more underwhelming than I had originally hoped, working out ways to keep track of my bills, scribbling idle verses, sayings and talking points on post-it notes that look magical until they’re actually thought out.
The monniker "Curtis" of the Curtis Chronicles was an alter-ego that allowed me to act ignorant and was a snapshot of the true Curtis' feelings on a case of red bull... but the line between the alter-ego and the real me has always been clear to me, but it seems others who know me believe the distinction is much less subtle....
July was the first month hadn't written a single entry since I started this and it gave me the indication of where I was at with the blog... So I guess this is a way of saying I’m going to my corner for a while as I feel like this blog has run its course. Right now, I'm planning bigger and better things online and having a written documented history of some of the obnoxious feelings I've had over the years might not be the best idea. So get yo read on because the blog will be coming down soon...
It’s easy for me to tell others what matters when blogging — to chastise them about the idea of sabotaging themselves ’cause it’s my outlet to express whatever, whenever, however — but I'm starting to feel that I can’t even do that properly anymore without reaping the consequences.
So, yeah, I’ll be back. Or not. Does it matter?
~C
4 comments:
Don't close this shot dowm, man!! his was the main thing that got me through the last year of hell. while at work on the few times i had down time i would use this to pick my spirits up when i really wanted to choke the shit out of someone.
but on the other hand i realize that as time goes by, one groes and likes and dislikes, hobbies and pastimes change. so if you must leave, leave in knowing that you helped many laugh and made us contemplate the mundane occurrences that occur everyday.
we all spent an extra second examining our walk a couple of years ago. last year we thought, 'maybe i should ask where the homeless guy was born' (but then didn't). and we all wondered why tyhe hell would i wanna visit chicago in the wintertime!
every single person who had the oppotunity to read your entries had a smile come to thier face, none more than me.
well, at least me and your crew will be able to contimue to hear your outlandish takes on life, it sucks for everyone else though. love ya, man
-nbf
sorry for all the misspelling in the above reply!!!!
Please don't go! Please don't go! For real you have been a pick me up for us all so yes it does matter if you leave.
I just started reading your blog a few days ago, and I'm very interested in what you have to say.
You can stop by my spot anytime and be a critic...I need the input. LOL!!!!
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