the curtis chronicles

4.13.2007

Nappy Headed Hoes

Finally, something worth writing about... I'm not just going to write some shit, just to be writing some shit... I try to wait until I really have something to say!!! so sorry for the lack of posts lately..

So Imus just got fired... Yeah... we won.... again!!!!!

Amidst all this celebration by the mob I ask myself..what are folk celebrating?

Answer: The same reason we watch the first week of American Idol... The same reason the Romans had slaves fighting against lions... we love to see a mother fucker freefall to their impending doom. We love watching it happen to Britney, we couldn't want to see those boys from Duke go to jail. It is just in our media dominated short attention span shock personality culture to do so...

Face it.. the majority of folks aint political, intellectual or involved in anything except for themselves.... motherfuckers are just spectators at a car wreck wishing and waiting for the sight of the gore soaked, broken and mangled body. A few weeks ago me and the lady were leaving the club and we stood on the corner with about a dozen other people as we watched this drunk girl drive into a parked car, then back up and do it again, then back up and drive into the next car, then back up and drive into a third parked car. We all just sat there and watched and said, 'DAMN, she's fucked up!!!" finally someone flagged a passing cop car. and when it all should've been over, that is when the show just began..

The crowd grew as she had to take a sobriety test, walking the line (barely), finally with the spectacle too much to bear, she just pointed at all the people and said, just make me blow.... who knows what she blew, but she had the handcuffs on her and it was over.. the mob scene disappeared and the poor girl's life is ruined for the next couple of years. No longer entertaining, everyone scattered and we all left, had our entertainment fill for the night, only she will have to deal with the consequences of her actions for the rest of her life.... the rest of us could give two shits...

so what I'm getting to is, nobody gives two shits about Imus or what Imus said. He's just the rallying point of the moment, and his career is over now.

If we look at all of the other topics Sharpton and them could be discussing that would have a more direct impact on black america and how such a lack of concern has been shown. Let a mother fucker bring up a conversation about the world bank, mortgage rates, Darfur, Job Opportunities, Obama, joining book club or getting registerred to vote.... ... you know the deal......... crickets

Then along comes Imus and black folk think its hip to be aware and declare how grave of an injustice it has been... white folks take this as an opportunity to remind everyone just how culturally conscious they are and how many black friends they have... like somehow that makes it all ok.

But what white folks don't understand is WHY black folks get so upset about this shit... it's because it never stops man... everytime it happens, it affects us... they've been firing folks for saying ignorant shit since Jimmy the Greek as far as I can remember... to us, we would think, obviously white folks know if they say ignorant shit, they're going to get fired!! so either they don't care, don't think they're wrong, or just don't think they'll get into trouble... or the way we see it is, probably, it's they way they talk when they're not around us... hell, it's the way I talk when I'm not around nappy headed hoes... but I know better then to say it when I'm around them!!

AND, BLACK FOLKS been saying all kindsa bitch, hoe, nappy dugout, chickenhead comments in our music without one OUNCE of protest, so some 70 year old white guy that nobody gives a shit about says some ignorant shit and NOW we wanna get some religion?? GTFOH with that bullshit...

This shit will last a week tops.. then, pass the titties, the malt liquor, the cocaine and everyone will get back to the business of being full time trifling...

sad ain't it...

~C

3.22.2007

My tulips are sprouting!!!

Holy shit....

Remember when I told you my momma made me plant the tulips she bought me for my new crib? She was RIDING a brotha after she left....

"you plant your tulips yet?"
"you plant your tulips yet?"
"you plant your tulips yet?"
"you plant your tulips yet?"
"you plant your tulips yet?"
"you plant your tulips yet?"
"you plant your tulips yet?"
"you plant your tulips yet?"
"you plant your tulips yet?"

"yes mom, I planted my tulips"

"........ no you didnt"

"you're right, I didn't I was tired of hearing you ask me"

so finally after much harrassment, I planted the mfers... and I must say, that my heart was filled with a little joy the other day when i walked up to my house and saw 50 little buds sprouting out of the ground.

My momma would be proud...

~C

2.26.2007

What's God got to do with winning?

Can someone tell me? I mean you win something, you thank God... God never wrote about "winning" did he? Is it have something to do with Blacks and religion?

We score a touchdown, we thank God, we hit a home run, we thank God, we win an Oscar, we thank God... now I can understand like, if you SURVIVED CANCER, or had a healthy baby... that shit is worth thanking God for. But are we really supposed to give God thanks for winning?

I could see if maybe you thanked her for "giving me the strength"... but if you got millions of dollars in the bank already, I ain't with you homie! Truth is, we really don't know how much strength comes from within ourselves vs how much comes from my dead cousin's mother's Aunt twice removed that was married to a slave down in Mississippi. If I ever win something I'm going to thank myself!

~C

2.14.2007

For the fellas...

2.02.2007

show of hands...

how many of you have ever left work, to go get some ass, but knew you had to go back to work afterwards....

It is never fun to be faced with the dilemma of whether or not to crush the expectations for cuddling before you even get started, yet in a twisted way, relish in the fact that you'll be able to get up quickly afterwards OR go ahead do the do, then after about 10 minutes of cuddling do the whole, " {{{SIGH}}} you know I have to go back to work tonight right?"

in some weird way, I kinda miss those days.... but I'm fortunate to have a job that when I'm done for the day... I'm done for the day..

The moral of the story kids, is, always make time for the booty in your life. If you have to go back to work, she's going to be mad anyway, so instead of staying late and getting home to a sleepy / tired woman, why not go home and make each other happy for a couple hours, then come back to work?

just a thought..

1.23.2007

Din for Ten (actually 9)

Still recovering from the weekend where me and the lady prepared a 5 course dinner for friends over the weekend.

It ended up being 9 people instead of 10 but by the end of the night we had finished 10 bottles of wine and a pitcher of Sangria..... whoo!!

~C

Y'all didn't know Curtis was a Chef too!!!??? Peep the menu below:

January 20, 2007

Trio of Catalan Tapas:

Pan con Tomate – Baguettes w/ Hand Rubbed Tomato & Olive Oil

Tortilla de Patatas –Potatoes & Onions Fried to a Golden Brown

Escalivada w/ Goat Cheese – Roasted Eggplant, Red Pepper & Tomato

Pan Seared Scallops w/

Garlic & Butter

Mesculum Greens w/ Blue Cheese,

Port Poached Pear, Cherry Tomatoes

in Aged Balsamic Vinagarette

Intermisso of Pineapple Sorbet w/ Kentucky Bourbon

Pollo al Vino – Cornish Hen Roasted in Red Wine & Garlic

Fresh Cut Green Beans w/ Dill, Butter & Lemon

Wasabi Smashed Red Potatoes

Crema de Limon

Chai or Coffee

1.17.2007

figures of speech

I know some things just roll off the tongue and nothing is ever meant by them.

... So in an effort to put some pressure on a brotha to complete the current task quickly he says, "Don't make me have to crack the whip!!"

".............................."

Don't make me have to put my foot up your ass either...... He's new to the whole management thing and still have diarrhea of the mouth... not quite understanding that there is some responsibility that comes with management... albiet middle management, but still...

I should've scared the dude and said, "Don't make me have to invoke Nat Turner, snatch the whip out your hand and strangle yo white ass with it!!" He knew as soon as he said it, it was wrong and started stuttering about it being a "figure of speech"... and I didn't even have to point out to him that it was a fucked up figure of speech... I just had this confused look on my face as if, "you know what you just said was fucked up right?" and he did, so sometimes it's just the look that sends the message..

In other news, start saving your pennies boys and girls, my main man from Illinois is about to announce for the presidency and i expect all 3 of my loyal readers to give some money to his campaign.

~C