sometimes, you just can't care.

Some people have the luxury of being able to be themselves no matter what the situation. They can do and say whatever it is they would normally do no matter who or what is around them.

Now I must say that these people who are convinced that they are themselves all of the time, I think you're full of shit and that whether you want to admit or not, you are never completely your true self ALL of the time.. that's bullshit... because I know behind closed doors you probably take it in the ass. But I bet you aren't going to be so forward and open about THAT all the time are you? Ok, maybe that's different, but still...

I make no qualms about being a different person in different situations. I think it has come natural from a very early age. I was the only black kid in the "smart" classes, but then I'd hang with the black kids in the school. So I learned pretty quickly that I couldn't behave in class the way they told me they behaved in class (spitballs, etc...) This has created a situation where without even thinking about it, I'm very easily able to switch between environments pretty easily, whether it be in a meeting with a client, at a dinner party with the girl's boss, or slammin dominoes with my homies back in Springpatch.

But SOMETIMES, you just have to let all that go and just be yourself and not give a damn about the situation. Most of the switching comes from the desire / ability to make others feel comfortable around you moreso than any deep willingness to be something else I believe. The last thing anyone wants to feel is uncomfortable around you, then they won't want to work with you, eat lunch with you, have sex with you, play golf with you, etc...

Every once in a while you have to throw those people off, just to let them know that they don't REALLY know you completely. This is important for a couple of reasons, mainly because you don't want people to get so comfortable they start assuming that you are like them. Either that or they'll start calling you "bro".... "what's up bro?!" or even worse, they're a big Dave Chappelle fan and if they're ignorant, they might even try to drop a N-bomb on you, but most people have more sense than that.

So in my efforts just to let my co-workers know that I'm not everything I seem to be I warmed up some leftover fried chicken and collard greens in the microwave about 10:30am yesterday. It had the whole top floor of the office smelling like a cornicopius blend of grease and ass. ...broke out the hot sauce at my desk too just to REALLY let folks know my roots run deep into the backroads of Mississippi.

Hey I was hungry, I had to do it, but it served it's purpose too.

~C

I'm back safely.

Finally made it back to the states safe and sound. Thanks so much for your prayers and support while I was stranded (both of you).

I'll give a nice long rundown when I get over my jetlag...

~C

Stranded in Cameroon

i hope you all realize that when i dont write a chronicle for a while there really is a valid reason. i enjoy writing them as much as all 4 of you enjoy reading them, and my latest hiatus is no exception. im typing on a french keyboard so forgive all of the typing mistakes.

well basically, im stranded in Cameroon.

i was sent to Africa for work at the last minute and have been here for about a week and have many many (okay maye two) great chronicles to write about this experience, but this one just could not wait...

my flight from Gabon left 2 hours late and by the time i arrived in Cameroon i only had 30 minutes to catch my connecting flight. in an effort to help, the Cameroon authorities rushed us through customs without stamping our passports.

when we got out to the ticket window, it was closed since we arrived 20 minutes before the plane was to take off. so i was stuck with no ticket, and no visa to be in the country. basicalyl screwed and unable to get back on a flight if i wanted to. i eventually hooked up with this guy from scotland who spoke english and we managed to eventually get our visa stamps at half past midnight.

we then found a decent hotel to stay in for the night and went to the air france office this morning. so tentatively i am leaving on a flight at 11pm tonight which will put me into dulles on Sunday afternoon. Since Cameroon does not seem like a place to be wandering the streets all day, i had to get the hotel room for a second night to have a place to stay until i go to the airport this evening. i hope the boss doesnt trip when i send her the bill.

if i am not able to get on the flight to Paris this evening, i may be here until Monday night as ive been told the air france flight does not leave on Sunday. this would put me back into the states on tuesday. the other option is to try to get a ticket on the other flight that flies through brussels one way home which will cost me about 2500. I will keep you informed of what happens... hopefully ill get on the flight tonight.

but yeah... basically im stuck right now.

Stranded in Cameroon,

Curtis

What do ghosts smell like??

Humor me for just a second...

I'm sitting at my computer checking my email, waiting for your confessions (since I haven't received any!!), when all of a sudden, I smell hot chocolate.

Like DISTINCTIVELY could smell it, you know the smell of all those particles that waft into your face right when you pour the instant powder into a mug?? THAT is what I smelled.. It was so distinctive that I had to look around and wonder if someone slipped some hot chocolate into my monitor or something!!!

It lingered for like a minute and a half or so, then it was gone... my windows were closed, my air conditioning was on, and I didn't have any incense burning or even in the room... weird shit... I'm wondering if a ghost just came from Ghiradelli or something and was passing through??? I don't get it.

Which reminds me of a quote I once heard... I can't remember by who at this moment, but when this man was asked what he fears most about death he replied, "definitely the ghosts."
when pushed to elaborate he said, "I'd hate to have to face my grandmother now that she knows how much I masturbate."

~C

hey hey, it's confession time again!!

If you recall, once a year I ask you to send me your confessions, and I will publish them anonymously for the world to see...

Here you can check out last year's confessions...

I think it's good to get things off your chest sometimes. It just makes things more clear when you put it out there to the world....

let it out... BE FREEEEEE!!!

send your confessions to..... cinnamon.stick@gmail.com and I'll print them in a week or so...

~C

I think I fell in love...

MMMAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!! I saw Lizz Wright in concert a week or so ago and I have been thinking about her ever since..

Her voice just reached out and not only touched my soul, but grabbed its neck and shook the fu*k out of it!! I mean, her voice is just so soothing and sexy and .......... at one point in the show, I just had my eyes closed with a big ass grin on my face and I looked up and the waiter had been standing there trying to hand my my Jack & Coke and I was just frozen, in rapture with this woman's voice!!

I've been playing the first CD non-stop every since and I see no signs of me turning it off in my house... WWWOOOOOOOO!!! I'm telling y'all man, I don't know if she's married or what, but after being in her presence, she DEFINITELY is worth of TITBS.

TITBS is a very high honor not handed out lightly, usually one has to make a deep impression on a man over a period of MONTHS to receive TITBS. But Lizz did it to me in like 15 minutes man, that definitely sets a new record for me. I think I've only elevated like 5 chicks in my whole life to TITBS and that decision is always done with great care and caution. It HAS to be, because you KNOW she's going to go and tell her girls about that shit, so you have to make sure you REALLY like her before you take it to that level.

So go out pick up the new CD from the new love of my life.

~C

(ps- TITBS = Tongue In The Booty Status)

Flowers for no reason

Lillies 2, originally uploaded by cinnamon.stick.

I sent my momma flowers for no reason last week. I sent them to her office too so she can be the envy of all the other women she works with.

As much as I come off as an asshole from time to time, I'm really a sweet guy with a soft spot for my momma. So I sent her so many Asiatic Lillies that it took two vases to hold them all. She loves me again....

.... okay, actually, I didn't send her anything on mother's day. So when father's day came around, I had to take care of my mother too... I got my dad movie tickets, when you're a dad, I guess you get no love.... My gift basically says to him, "here, take these movie tickets and use them to take out my mother." I didn't really MEAN to take away the glamour of father's day and give my mother more shine then him, but it just sorta worked out that way.

sorry dad.

~C