still here?

can't believe this is still here after all these years...

... wonder if anyone still checks in from time to time...

So do you work out?

"No, I don't"

You would've thought I shot her mother.... the look of disgust on her face said it all...

I'm cramming to understand... why do people that work out think they are better than everyone else?

I understand working out makes you feel better about yourself and all that. But I hear these folks go to great lengths talking about fiber bars and how they got up at 5:00am and biked for 20 miles and I just can't help but think its all craziness... man, if something wakes me up at 5am... we've got a problem... and I'm going to have a problem ALL DAMN DAY because I was up at 5am... the only way I'm getting up that early is if I'm catching a plane.... and someone else booked the flight. Because I'll be damned if I'm going to buy a plane ticket that makes me have to get up at 5am...

I just don't get it.... but then again, there are people that think rushing home to get 9 holes of golf in before the sun sets is craziness too... but there is a big difference... I'm drinking beer and smoking cigars! To me, its like some sick and twisted self-degredation to eat bars you KNOW you don't like... and if you look at all the health bar aisle... what are the flavors!!! a whole bunch of unhealthy shit... chocolate, peanut butter, marshmallow, and a bunch of things that you are not letting yourself eat... so instead you trick yourself into getting the taste of, but not the real thing that you're denying yourself..

... if it weren't for the sexy assistant at the dentists office I'd eat chocolate all the time, but I'm sure she doesn't think cavities are sexy...

so these two cats are talking about the weather and trying to one-up each other about how much they rode, and blah blah blah... and talking all loud as if to let EVERYONE around them know.. problem is... nobody cares. nah, I don't want to see your bike online...

its kinda like these new hyper-graphic polo shirts with the way too big logo on them... this whole overcopensatory lifestyle of bling has just infiltrated everything and is all up in people's brains and stuff now... where as it becomes a way of being way beyond fashion...

maybe I'm way out in left field on this...

in any case, there is a GREAT article I just received about public sex in case you're interested..

~C

Get yo read on...

Over the past few weeks, blogging on here has become the last thing I want to do. I’m sick of reading depressing news, the news on friends’ blogs — good and bad — shatters my emotional nerves, and while I can keep a good handle of doing small posts about everyday mundane bullshit, I can’t do anything involving serious shit any more because I've become so cynical about the world. I want to run like hell from writing this entry now. That empty feeling about writing is kicking my ass. But its mainly because my energies have been focused in much more constructive avenues.

I had a collection of things I wanted to read and write about, and I thought I wanted to do it for fun. But so many things are losing its excitement. Small things that should be secure and wouldn’t bother any average person are tearing me apart because they’re falling to shambles. I’ve been taking refuge in the mundane — huddling with my books on the way to a position that has been much more underwhelming than I had originally hoped, working out ways to keep track of my bills, scribbling idle verses, sayings and talking points on post-it notes that look magical until they’re actually thought out.

The monniker "Curtis" of the Curtis Chronicles was an alter-ego that allowed me to act ignorant and was a snapshot of the true Curtis' feelings on a case of red bull... but the line between the alter-ego and the real me has always been clear to me, but it seems others who know me believe the distinction is much less subtle....

July was the first month hadn't written a single entry since I started this and it gave me the indication of where I was at with the blog... So I guess this is a way of saying I’m going to my corner for a while as I feel like this blog has run its course. Right now, I'm planning bigger and better things online and having a written documented history of some of the obnoxious feelings I've had over the years might not be the best idea. So get yo read on because the blog will be coming down soon...

It’s easy for me to tell others what matters when blogging — to chastise them about the idea of sabotaging themselves ’cause it’s my outlet to express whatever, whenever, however — but I'm starting to feel that I can’t even do that properly anymore without reaping the consequences.

So, yeah, I’ll be back. Or not. Does it matter?

~C

whew.... its all coming together..

... obviously on the tail end of all of this....

I think everything is going to work out... what an intense couple of weeks... i'm not sure where to start to explain it... I'm going to try to piece it all together while I'm on vacation.. here is my horoscope for the day which tells me that all of this is a universe thing....:

"The Full Moon on Saturday is relationship oriented, bringing a certain connection into full bloom. This can be an existing partnership, new love, a connection with a child or a parent, or, if you're really lucky, it can offer you a brand new connection with your Self. The pursuit of Self-Love is the only important undertaking in the world. If you're willing to stand alone, expressing authentically and openly all that you are, then you will attain peace and the rest of the world will be able to recognize you and love you the way you love you. You may feel as though you're light years away from this reality, but you're learning right now how to put your faith in yourself, aren't you? Look to that place where self-esteem matters more than anything else and start there. You're only a baby step away."

So enjoy your time here without me... I have to get away from the English language for a while.... it helps you step outside of yourself, when you throw yourself into an uncomfortable environment... well, not uncomfortable, but maybe just unfamiliar.... it forced you to come to grips with being on the outside, examine yourself and see how you fit into a different world....

I think this is what allows me to do a little more self-reflection when I'm away because you can no longer rely on the familiar, the bad habits, the bad influences, etc.... You have no other choice but to look at yourself because thats all you've got to work with... so whenever I come back from being away, it is with new perspective, new energy and new confidence it what the right way to move forward truly is...

lets hope everything I wrote is true!!

~C

Good Lord, the universe is calling.

Jesus...................

Please give me the strength.................

I swear if one more thing happens this week.......

this vacation couldn't come at a better time....

Good Lord you are testing me..........

~C

My trip is coming together

Wow, its funny how things just sort of fall into place from time to time... I'm hoping that this is some of that good karma coming back to me.

I checked the local London listings for the day I arrive and I am really lucking out... After the Zaha Hadid show and a stroll through the Tate Modern, I'll be able to catch Soil & Pimp Sessions who are quickly becoming my favorite Japanese band, are performing at the Jazz Cafe. Then I'll have to choose between a Jazzanova DJ set or the legendary Soul Heaven party. I want to do the Soul Heaven party, but they're guest DJ this month is from Chicago... :(

I've done Paris a few times, but my travelling partner has not, so not sure how I'll talk her out of spending a bunch of time there yet, but my plan is to get out of Paris as quickly as possible. I've never done anything but the major cities in France, so this one is going to be a bit different since I've mapped out several amazing cathedrals in small town France.

As much as my students get on my nerves from time to time, I have learned some shit about architectural history that i wouldn't have if I wasn't teaching the class. So when I was doing Gothic last year, I came across a bit that explained that the cathedrals are spaced exactly 1/2 day of foot / wagon travel apart from each other along the pilgrimage route to Santiago de Compostella. This was the Christian equivalent back in the day of an Muslim's trip to Mecca. I've mapped out the most amazing ones which we should be able to hit pretty quickly since we'll be in a car.

The only thing I'm really planning on spending money on is food. I love food and not being a connoisseur of French food places me at a bit of a disadvantage, so in my research, I figure if the restaurant looks cool, then I can get my design on and my grub on at the same time.

AND, on my way back, if I get back to London quick enough, I'll be able to catch the opening day of the Tour de France! Not sure if it would be that exciting without Sheryl Crow there, but it could be another feather to put in the cap. On the off chance that I'm ever around anyone when its on TV I can sound real egotistical and say, "I've been to Le Tour.".... how obnoxious... French just sounds so pompous when you hear it, oh well, I better get used to it.

I really don't have anything to say, just rubbing it that I'm going to France and you're not. ;) I was doing pretty good about getting out of the country every year, but now its moved to every other year. My ex used to try to leave the country like twice a year... she'd do it too on frequent flyer miles and shit. I wonder where she went this year... I'm sure she's left the country at least once this year.... I wonder how most of my ex-girlfriends are doing... I think of them quite often now that I'm single.

Out of the blue earlier this week an ex from like 1994 tracked me down and dropped me an email .. I haven't wrote her back yet because I'm not sure what to say? ....not sure how that conversation would go.... "So do you still take it in the ass?" might not be an appropriate question, but thats the one thing that stands out to me from her... isn't that ridiculous? I mean, she was the first girl to ever say to me, "I want you to put it in my ass." .... I was like, you want me to put it where? But that's the standout memory for me about her....

Anyway, to rub it in... here are a few of the architectural sites, I've mapped out and am considering trying to get to on the Western France countryside tour...

~C

http://www.panoramio.com/photo/12967
http://www.panoramio.com/photo/1252252
http://www.panoramio.com/photo/631837
http://www.panoramio.com/photo/413269
http://www.panoramio.com/photo/156827
http://www.panoramio.com/photo/1856302

Taking a break

So I decided about a week ago that I needed a vacation.... needed to get out of the country for a bit, but wasn't quite sure where to go or who to go with. I've had this free weeklong stay in a timeshare burning a hole in my pocket for 5 months now, so I finally decided to use it.

I was looking at Brazil, Uruguay, Argentina, & Peru extensively, but its winter there now... Even though I swore I'd go to South America next, it just didn't seem like the right time... and I need a vacation now!

So I called and asked them what type of availability they had in Europe this summer and she gave the whole "its real tight and almost everything is booked" speech. Then she found a week long stay at a Thalasso therapy spa (seaweed wraps and shit) on an island in the Atlantic Ocean, just off the coast of France. So I said fu*k it and booked it... but I have to be there in two weeks...

So I started looking into plane tickets into Paris which were like $1600!!! ... just out of control... so at first I thought that I was just going to lose the free week, then I decided to look at other airports and found a flight to London for $750. Cool. I know the trains in Europe like the back of my hand and this gives me the chance to see those sexy British chics I met in New York a couple of weeks ago. THEN, I start doing a little research and find out that Zaha Hadid's first comprehensive show in London opens on the day i arrive! So I'll be getting my freak on as well as my Architecture...

So it was fate, I'll be rubbing shoulders with her heiness in a few weeks so don't hate. ;)

Then I was talking to my girl from Cali whose birthday is a day apart from mine and she says, "I wanna go!"... I told her cool, but she's travelling Curtis steelo... one bag only, architecture from the butt crack of dawn until dusk , then late nights of great food and drinks with very little sleep before we get up and do it again! and she said "cool." So me and my homie from '92 will be rolling through the French countryside in a Benz rental in a few weeks.

The bad thing is the resort is a little off the beaten path and my vacations are like intense architecture immersions with little time to relax, so maybe thats a good thing since it may force me to sit still... I'll be broke as hell afterwards, but I need it though... Since all of my other international vacation plans fell through, I just decided to do it and book a trip...

maybe I'll finally start my book....

~C